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Future Wedding Panic

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Bigger posted 9/3/2020 09:03 AM

Westway

In all seriousness. Let’s imagine your daughter finds a great guy and they are so compatible and so much in love that they decide to marry.
We could even imagine you are so well off that you foot the complete bill. We could even imagine it’s one of those extravagant, every bridesmaid gets a present and the guys wear Armani suits and we have a trial dinner with exotic food and a celebrity-baker cake with gold-dust, sound-check 20 bands and get a former one-hit wonder to preform, a selection of French champagne and an open bar with 33 brands of selective single-malt whiskeys… One of those overblown how-I-hate-them extravaganzas.
Or we could imagine your daughter and her husband invite a select few friends to the ceremony and then have a reasonably priced feast.

Either way. The day is about THEM.
It’s not about us. It’s not about you. It’s not about the witch that was once your wife, or the ogre she calls the same label she called you once: husband.

For my kids I could share a table with Pol Pot, Noriega, Marcos, Hitler and Stalin and still smile.

I might ask that the new in-laws sit between, but I would make sure the day is about them.

Heck… I might even take the new son-in-law aside and teach him some new rules if HE didn’t make the day about HER.

But then – how you feel now and how you feel xxx years from now…


Tecuacuicani posted 9/3/2020 09:17 AM

Parents pay for weddings? I know I am from the younger generation, but I have yet to have anyone I know (from my circle/school/University) who had parents pay for their wedding.

They might help by paying for flowers or the cake or catiering, but the bulk of the cost is on the couple. Hell, by bezt friend took out a 60K loan to pay for her big day.

My own parents have told both me and my sibling we are on our own should we choose to have a wedding.

Westway posted 9/3/2020 11:04 AM

Parents pay for weddings? I know I am from the younger generation, but I have yet to have anyone I know (from my circle/school/University) who had parents pay for their wedding.
They might help by paying for flowers or the cake or catiering, but the bulk of the cost is on the couple. Hell, by bezt friend took out a 60K loan to pay for her big day.
My own parents have told both me and my sibling we are on our own should we choose to have a wedding.

I'm Irish Catholic. Where I come from the father of the bride pays.

J707 posted 9/3/2020 16:25 PM

Don't even worry about that. When/if the day comes, it will be their day. Seating arrangements can be made so you and stbxww don't have to sit next each other. At my wedding we had my mom and dad at seperete tables and my exww's mom and dad at seperete tables. Maybe it will be 10 years from now, who knows. Can't dig to far into the future. But maybe you'll be down the line where your ex won't even matter.

Westway posted 9/8/2020 16:29 PM

Well I solved one problem today. My younger daughter and I were talking about her older sister and her wedding fantasies, and younger daughter says "Dad, I don't need you to pay for my wedding. Instead, I want a nice new car when I graduate college."

Done. We shook hands and its a deal.

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