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J707 (original poster member #63778) posted at 6:37 PM on Sunday, October 4th, 2020
DD13 has been staying up way to late these days. I know she's a teenager and that happens. DS did it. I did it. It was one of the concerns from her teachers during back 2 school night. Not just for DD13 but all students. Have any of you been experiencing this as well?
I got up at 530am this morning and she was still up. Granted its Sunday. But she will stay up til 2 or 3 on weeknights at her mom's during the week. Virtual school starts at 830am. So she gets an average of 4-5 hours of sleep. I try to set ground rules but I know I can't force her to sleep. I've talked with her about the importance of getting sleep. Just curious if others have been experiencing this. As I said, I know shes a teenager but once the teachers pointed it out it's most kids, it raised a little more concern with me.
million pieces ( member #27539) posted at 12:20 AM on Monday, October 5th, 2020
What is she doing while she is up that late? I know I had to turn off my wifi when my kids were that age. 
Me - 52 D-Day 2/5/10, separated 3 wks later, Divorced 11/15/11!!!!
J707 (original poster member #63778) posted at 1:00 AM on Monday, October 5th, 2020
She listens to a lot of podcasts. I've checked her phone (me being Dad) and know there isn't any unusual people she is talking to. She doesn't really have many friends either. That was my main concern. I'm not sure if I should take away her phone when she's with me at night? My boundaries need to be enforced though. So that can be a possibility.
LadyG ( member #74337) posted at 4:09 AM on Monday, October 5th, 2020
I have three grown up in their 20’s now but went through this 10 years ago. Not all or most stay up late but if she’s doing virtual learning it could be a contributing factor.
These are my children’s educational outcomes.
DS1: very disciplined, great sleeper throughout school and university. Very focused and completed Master Degree by age 23. Now 25 but still is an early to bed, early to rise young man.
DS2: very disillusioned, terribly sleeper throughout. Couldn’t focus in high school and although graduated, is still a dreamer, unsure what path to take in life. Is still up at all hours. Has a sketchy work history so far. We are being kind and patient but he’s 23 and we are getting worried about his future.
DD1: as bright as they come, fabulous sleeper throughout. Is artistic and naturally talented. Not so academic but graduated high school. Went on to study Arts. Works whatever job she can get in order to pursue her passion for the Arts. Is now 22.
Thirteen is tough for a child. Everything is changing. My daughter at 13 had her own thing going on. Not a follower of the mainstream crowd but had a very niche circle of friends.
September 26 1987 I married a monster. Slowly healing from Complex PTSD. I Need Peace. Fiat Lux. Buddha’s Love Saves Me 🙏🏼
homewrecked2011 ( member #34678) posted at 4:20 AM on Monday, October 5th, 2020
At her age, I was up til all hours also- but it was reading the newest Nancy Drew book under the covers with my flashlight! 
I’d say when she’s with you, maybe turn the WiFi off at midnight. Also can you have something planned that she’ll need to be up for on Sat and Sun am? Or, do something all day Sat that makes her really tired- any state parks near you, or any places to horseback ride? 13 year olds usually love horses.....
My kids got into band about that age and once marching band started they were tired at 10 pm!
Just a thought- she may be zoning out and listening to podcasts bc she doesn’t like the quiet- and having to think/ my oldest was like that for a long time after the D. 
Sometimes He calms the storm. Sometimes He lets the storm rage, but calms His child. Dday 12/19/11I went to an attorney and had him served. Shocked the hell out of him, with D papers, I'm proud to say!D final10/30/2012Me-55
crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 5:16 AM on Monday, October 5th, 2020
Yes both of mine have been doing this. My daughter stays up late watching Anime and my son video games. Usually they take naps to catch up on the Zzz's. It's ok until it affects their schoolwork then I have to lay boundaries down with them again.
fBS/fWS(me):52 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:55 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(22) DS(19)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Separated 9/2019; Divorced 8/2024
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 1:41 PM on Monday, October 5th, 2020
Been there done that....
We turned off WiFi at 9pm
Electronics got stored in our room. That meant their phones, and Xbox for the boy child.
They love to stay up late and sleep in, but for most teens that is not a healthy option during school. Heck the school district my kids were in, the HS kids had the earliest start time, bus pick up at 6:30. They were looking into flipping it, but the little ones that get up early easy for the most part didn't start until 8:40.
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
pureheartkit ( member #62345) posted at 1:32 AM on Tuesday, October 6th, 2020
There was a great discussion of this on an online chat forum. Many people said they were up late on electronic devices as a teen and exhausted at school. Teens need at least 8 hours and many need more. They are growing, producing tons of hormones and the brain is maturing. I learned that most teens prefer to wake around 9 am and stay up later so the optimum school start time would be 10 or 11 for teens. Teens are active and interested in the early evening.
If teens don't get enough sleep, they can't commit to memory everything they are learning. Sleep is when you store memory. One idea is to let teens stay up and sleep in on weekends. Some people said they slept most of the day as a teen on the weekend.
Perhaps the teens of cave man days were guarding the tribe while the older folks and kids slept. They seem naturally wired for nightlife.
Thank you everyone for your wisdom and healing.
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