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Relationship green lights

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EllieKMAS posted 2/22/2021 10:54 AM

Jana meeeeeeee tooooooo OMG LOL

And then (get THIS) apparently part of the reason why he cheated on me was "because I didn't need him" and household chores were brought up as illustration of that fact. WUT. THA. FUCKETTY. FUCK.

I can laugh about it now, but that was just... wow.

JanaGreen posted 2/22/2021 11:00 AM

They really have to stretch for their "reasons" sometimes.

DevastatedDee posted 2/23/2021 08:58 AM

I fixed a washing machine without asking for his help. Therefore I didn't "need" him and it affected him deeply. You two aren't alone in hearing that stupidity, lol.

EllieKMAS posted 2/23/2021 10:46 AM

I fixed a washing machine without asking for his help. Therefore I didn't "need" him and it affected him deeply. You two aren't alone in hearing that stupidity, lol.

*GASP*

The audacity of you Dee! How actually dare you!

DevastatedDee posted 2/23/2021 11:46 AM

I don't know about you, but if something breaks and someone other than me deals with the aggravation of fixing it, I'm all grateful and stuff like I guess some kind of deranged lunatic, LOL.

skeetermooch posted 2/23/2021 14:52 PM

I like the concept of a green light list but honestly my SAXH checked all the boxes with a mild exception that was so vague and confusing I'm not sure I would've ever seen it as a problem.

He was faking being healthy and normal!!

Yes, and I got the I didn't need him because I could fix things and would fix things rather then let them stay broken for eternity. He was highly unreliable doing any chores and never proactive - after we were married.

DevastatedDee posted 2/23/2021 17:22 PM

I like the concept of a green light list but honestly my SAXH checked all the boxes with a mild exception that was so vague and confusing I'm not sure I would've ever seen it as a problem.

Girl...we were with very similar men. It's really disturbing to have been with someone so good at faking decency and authenticity.

[This message edited by DevastatedDee at 5:22 PM, February 23rd (Tuesday)]

newlife03 posted 2/23/2021 17:24 PM

When I started dating SO in 2011 I didn't have a written list, but things in my head that I wanted to see:

good to my kids
hard-working and independent
good to friends and family
respect for others
kind
loyal in past relationships

It occurred to me one afternoon that SO had each of these qualities. Of course over the years I've learned some that need improvement that are not on this list, but with these "core" values in mind the others are workable.

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