SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

..wondering if severe guilt and shame could, over many years, manifest itself in an actual brain tumor and kill us?

..the 'mind-body' link seems so obvious.( i was just reading on a site about the thread title and was amazed by the evidence linking the body's response to stressors.. like infidelity, PTSD, and so many more..

..brain tumors were linked to having severe inner conflicts, loss of esteem or faith in oneself..

..anyone have some feedback on the mind-body link to health or lack thereof?

..why i lost 20 lbs seems to be pretty obvious..

..i suffered from 'spastic colon' or 'irritable bowel syndrome' all thru H.S. whenever Exams rolled around..

my nervous reaction and stress over these exams had me running in more ways than one!

..now, these stresses in the M are affecting general health.. pressure and pains in the chest.. feelings of sadness chipping away at our bodies' normal health..

..

smy

I believe there is a very strong correlation between the mental and physical. I think stress can literally kill you if you don't develop healthy coping mechanisms.

My niece died of cancer when she was 24 years old. She got pregnant at 20 and my brother pretty much insisted she get married although he hated her husband.

She delivered a severely premature baby one week after the wedding (1 lb, 13 oz), he was in neonatal ICU for 4 months and they nearly lost him several times, and she got pregnant again before her son got home from the hospital. She and her husband had a lot of stress and financial problems.

Her parents (my brother & sil) told her that if she didn't get a D, they would no longer help her out. So after 2nd child was born, she got D.

She had 2 lumps in her breast which were removed when she gave birth the 2nd time. They turned out to be cancer and she had a mastectomy. She was a single mother with cancer, 2 children, one of which has health issues associated with his premature birth, and her parents were very controlling. (I'm sure they thought they were "helping.")

She fought the cancer for 2 years before it finally made its way into her liver and brain.

She died leaving a 3 and 4 year old child behind.

There is NO history of breast cancer in either side of the family.

This leaves me with the certainty that stress can literally kill you.

NL

I don't know...

But I hope you can find a way to feel better soon.

(newlease) that is a very very sad story.

I don't know about a direct link to any given condition, but it is well known that stress can have an extremely negative effect on certain conditions. I know that all autoimmune diseases can have a ramp up of symptoms when you are under a lot of stress (the stress of my D and antics of my X caused my auto immune thydoid disorder into complete havoc. It took 6-7 years for it to stabilize). I imagine that stress can trigger a relapse of cancer and heart disease. I know it causes issues with diabetes.

My point it that I don't think that stress causes any specific disorder, but I think it can trigger a disorder that you may be predisposed to. In some people that may be cancer, in others it may be a heart attack. And it can certainly cause a disorder that you already have to worsen.

Stress can certainly lower the immune system. I have heard some explanations that we all have some form of cancer all the time, but it never forms tumors because our immune system usually gets to it first. I am sure there are many other diseases that we are exposed to that a normal immune response crushes before the first symptoms.

I ended up hospitalized twice due to stress-induced issues, and this was several months BEFORE I had my first real-deal DDay. My body knew what my mind & heart refused to acknowledge.

Since STBX & I have separated several physical ailments of mine have gone away. For one, my blood pressure is lower. Another is my lower back pain, which for about 10 years has been so constant that I was crippled with pain 24x7 and had a heating pad on my back so much my skin changed color, that pain is non-existant now. My horrible GERD is now nicely manageable with an OTC pill, whereas before I not only had to take pills I had to crunch TUMS like they were PEZ. The kidney stones I had have since passed.

Life is better without STBX in it. I think I'm going to live longer without him.

I don't think this is a matter of metaphysics. I'm fairly sure it's a fact of medical science that stress, shame, etc can produce some seriously fucked up physical manifestations.

SMY, I believe there is definitely a mind-body link.

Personal story - I was in good health pre-Dday. The continuous stress for several years caused me, I believe, to develop breast cancer. Now, maybe it would have happened at some time in my life, or maybe not, but I really think it was set in motion by the intense conditions I was immersed in and my focus on those conditions. Also caused high blood pressure and high blood sugar. (In hindsight, as tough as it all was, it was worth it! ...but I digress... )

You may be interested in reading books written by Frederick Bailes on the subject of metaphysical causes of disease. "Hidden Power for Human Problems. The 7 "Parent" thoughts behind all human problems and how to overcome them" and "Your Mind Can Heal You" are two very good books. This subject is also covered by Ernest Holmes in the Science of Mind.

Your question was interesting. Thanks for raising it.

[This message edited by okaynow at 4:53 PM, January 25th (Friday)]

..thanks all for your input and advice..

..i owe it to myself to get these chest pains looked at..

..nearing 4 years of this stress may be more than this old heart can take

..@newlease..

very sad story.. those poor kids

..@jrc.. thanks, i hope i can feel better soon too!

..@ aesir.. i'd agree on the immune system warding off many illnesses.. my post was partly to do with connecting the brain's conscious/sub-conscious thoughts surrounding immense guilt/shame, over a long period manifest into a brain tumor? ..the guilt being located in the brain thoughts, therefore the site of the growth.

..

or the guilt showing up as a tumor in a guy's genitals..

@Nature-girl.. glad you found the source of your pain and got rid of it

@ okaynow.. very sorry to read of your bout with bc .. hope your user name says it all!!

and thanks for the book list.. i'l check it out.. knowledge is power.. i need to learn more about controlling my mind in more positive ways..

i admit i am still struggling with the double betrayal and the mind movies.. 3+ years of this crap is getting to me!

..peace and strength to us all

smy

Stress can cause many physical aliments, especially when coupled with pre-existing conditions, genetic conditions, lack of exercise, obesity, diet, drug abuse/dependence, etc. Example: Stress can cause a persons blood pressure to rise. This coupled with obesity and poor diet causes the b/p to rise even more. A poor diet can cause heart disease, including plaques in the heart. A piece of the plaque can come off and go to the brain, causing a stroke, and the person could become paralyzed or even die as a result. As far as a cancer risk, stress and lack of sleep (usually one of the side effects of stress) weaken the body's immunity. If the immune system is weakened, the body can't fight off radical cells as easily, thereby increasing a person's risk for cancer (again, pre-existing, genetic, and lifestyle factors can all create an even greater risk). There are many other examples, these are just two examples...

(((hugs to all)))

ETA: This is something of interest of me (do these feelings of inadequacy, guilt, etc correlate with brain CA)...I am thinking I may have to research it, if I am needing a topic for a paper.

[This message edited by Mama_of_3_Kids at 11:10 PM, January 25th (Friday)]

I point to stress as the reason why I was unable to conceive & carry a pregnancy until I moved away from the X's mother. We were married in 1977, moved in with her in 1979. I lost my first pregnancy that year. She was a living nightmare; I won't go into details here, but suffice it to say, there was a lot of stress, including having the X's sister & brother in law living in the same one-family house for a number of those years.

I went through every test imaginable--nothing was physically wrong. I took fertility pills--they didn't work. Finally, after a particularly disasterous situation with the X (he started doing cocaine), I moved out, back to my parents' house. It was a wake up call for him, and we were working on getting back together-obviously, because I finally got pregnant with DS during that time. I moved back into the house after his mother moved into an apartment--one month before DS was born.

Of course, more stress with the X and his family continued and I never got pregnant again, even though I never used any form of birth control.

Stress definitely affects your body.

Hi, I did a post on this last year after my husband was diagnosed with metastatic prostate cancer (no cancer history in the family)almost exactly a year after D day....the research I have done over the past year leaves me(and my husband) in no doubt about the mind body connection....it absolutely exists. Would be interested to hear if anyone else has a husband who developed prostate cancer, were they able to resolve it by dealing with mind, body, emotion issues? Ryke Geerd Hamer had an interesting theory on shock, conflict, trauma, disease....worth a read

I read something once that indicated there was a correlation between cancer survival and a good support network. So I imagine metaphysical stuff can also be of some assistance when it comes to longevity.

SMY,

Forget why or how, if you are having pain and pressure in your chest, see a doctor!!!!

I have a fabulous acupuncturist who helped me through the first five years. She's an extremely intuitive healer who sees the whole picture and can zero in on problem areas by reading my pulse.

We did a lot of work on the heart chakra because it was aching a lot of the time.

She also worked on the liver points to help it through the alcohol assault I was putting it through.

If you can find someone like that, you will benefit from the treatments.

Yoga really helped also.

Last year we agreed there was nothing critical to work on anymore, so now I just see her for seasonal tune-ups.

[This message edited by FaithFool at 2:42 PM, June 19th (Thursday)]

Smy, please... step away from the computer to call your doctor and make an appointment to see what's going on. That's nothing to put off.

I'm with N_G. Xpos was horrible to me and getting worse before DDay. I saw my Dr. for a routine visit less than a week before and told him I had a tightness in my chest. He did an EKG and it was ok, so said we would keep track of it. As soon as he confessed and moved out, no more tightness.ever.again.

or the guilt showing up as a tumor in a guy's genitals..

Dare I hope???? I'm hoping that xpos' prediction of when he will die is correct. That means less than two years and counting. But, then, I'm a bitch like that and, according to him, a 'cold' one!! That's why he did what he did: he deserves a chance to have a little happiness in his life before he dies.

T/j: Hello Aesir!! Nice to see you! End t/j.

Seriously, SMY, see your doctor, please.