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feelingfoolish (original poster member #22804) posted at 2:20 PM on Monday, July 22nd, 2013
Won't go into the sorrid details but, found out that my WH has NEVER stopped his A. And now he is telling her he loves her and wants to have a family with her.
I am so sick to my stomach. We were making some progress. Had some setbacks. I'm not completely surprised by this.
Today, I am filing for divorce. It is a sad day for me but, i refuse to let myself be disrespected another second.
Multiple ddays-LTA with coworker.
Tred ( member #34086) posted at 2:23 PM on Monday, July 22nd, 2013
I'm so sorry to hear this.
i refuse to let myself be disrespected another second
Good for you.
Married: 27 years (14 @JFO) D-Day: 11/09/11"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)
catlover50 ( member #37154) posted at 2:24 PM on Monday, July 22nd, 2013
I am so sorry feelingfoolish. Many hugs to you.
Sometimes there is relief from finally knowing the path to take.
I wish you strength and ultimate happiness.
Dday -9/23/2012
Reconciled
confused615 ( member #30826) posted at 2:31 PM on Monday, July 22nd, 2013
Stay strong.
((((fellingfoolish))))
BS(me)44
FWH 48
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 2:55 PM on Monday, July 22nd, 2013
((((FF))))
Sending you much strength.
He has shown you who he is, and now you can take some peace in knowing you gave it all you could.
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
pmal64 ( member #13551) posted at 2:57 PM on Monday, July 22nd, 2013
hugs to you. I am so sorry.
.:~*~:. .:~*~:..:~*~:. .:~*~:..:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:..:~*~:.
BS-me-55
WH -60
"when they show you who they are, believe them"
1Faith ( member #38975) posted at 3:02 PM on Monday, July 22nd, 2013
Dear Feeling
I am so sorry that you have found yourself in this place again.
Follow your instincts and do what you need to do to protect yourself and your family.
Sending healing hugs and prayers.
Sometimes my life feels like a test I didn't study for
feelingfoolish (original poster member #22804) posted at 3:21 PM on Monday, July 22nd, 2013
Thank you all of you. I really need strength today. It has been a long past few days.
And to top it off, my mom has to have open heart surgery this week---Yayyy me.
[This message edited by feelingfoolish at 9:23 AM, July 22nd (Monday)]
Multiple ddays-LTA with coworker.
NoTriangles ( member #35985) posted at 3:24 PM on Monday, July 22nd, 2013
False R is possibly the worst hell ever and I am so sorry you are hurting.
i refuse to let myself be disrespected another second.
Absolutely!! You most certainly deserve better and enough is enough.
Sending you strength and healing energy for your Mom.
Me: Finding my SunlightHim: Traitor in my FoxholeLet go or get dragged.
naivegirl ( member #14234) posted at 5:29 PM on Monday, July 22nd, 2013
Sending positve vibes to you. I would also mention the facebook hacking to your lawyer when you go to file.
Me BS 39
Him WH 38
D-day #1 Jan 31 2007
D-Day #2 March 25 2007
Roll on Roll on Roller Coaster
We're one day older and one step closer
Roll on there's mountains to climb
Roll on we're on borrowed time
-Kid Rock
Working on Re
AlwaysBeenStrong ( member #39888) posted at 5:36 PM on Monday, July 22nd, 2013
FF, I am so sorry you are dealing with this. Stay strong! I had many other life tribulations, on top of the A...losing family, and furbabies (to me those are my babies), but I still kept my head held high. Good luck and stay strong!!!!
BW: 41 (me)
Divorced soon.
Moving forward.
Pre Nursing Student
Getting a Do over at 42
HurtButHopeful? ( member #25144) posted at 6:35 PM on Monday, July 22nd, 2013
Resources for R:
His Needs Her Needs, by Dr. Willard Harley
Love Busters, by Dr. Willard Harley
(for husbands) Becoming the Ultimate Husband, by Reb Bradley
Dare2Trust ( member #21183) posted at 6:42 PM on Monday, July 22nd, 2013
I'm so sorry.
I hope your Mom does well with her surgery.
((((hugs)))))
Me BS 59
WH 58
Married 19 years
D-Day Nov 3, 2005
Child: Adopted Daughter 21 College Student now
I can understand being alone; but I hate being with someone and feeling lonely.
feelingfoolish (original poster member #22804) posted at 7:51 PM on Monday, July 22nd, 2013
I filed the paperwork with the court. Now, he will have to be served. We still live in the same house.
Tonight, i am going to tell him i would like him to move out. Also, discuss finances and child custody arrangements. Our son is 15, the other is 21 and is in college.
I don't anticipate this going well at all.
Multiple ddays-LTA with coworker.
Lalagirl ( member #14576) posted at 8:07 PM on Monday, July 22nd, 2013
((((FF)))))
Let his woman-child have him - dump his shit on her doorstep.
FTG.
This just breaks my heart - so many years and such a wonderful gift you gave to him -
You're right - enough is enough. We're here for you...please keep us posted.
When you say it will not go well, do you fear you will be harmed? Please have someone with you if that's the case.
Hugs...
2025: Me-59 FWH-61 Married 41 years grown daughters- 41 & 37. 1 GS,11yo GD & 9yo GD (DD40); Five grands ages 15 to 8. D-day #1-1/06; D-day #2-3/07 Reconciled! Construction Complete. Astra inclinant, sed non obligant
1Faith ( member #38975) posted at 8:08 PM on Monday, July 22nd, 2013
Stay strong and know that you are doing the right thing for you and your family.
This is the consequence of your husband's horrid choices.
You have given him multiple opportunities to be an honorable man and father and he has chosen to disregard those chances.
This now stops because you says it stops. Done. He is no longer worth your attempts to reconcile or put up with his lies and the OW's psychotic behavior. 
Stick to your guns and know that we are all here rooting for you.
(((hugs)))
Sometimes my life feels like a test I didn't study for
feelingfoolish (original poster member #22804) posted at 8:31 PM on Monday, July 22nd, 2013
I don't fear for my safety. I think he is going to yell and fuss. There is nothing he can say at this point.
He has lied so much to me, i wouldn't believe anything he said anyways.
Multiple ddays-LTA with coworker.
SoVerySadNow ( member #36711) posted at 8:47 PM on Monday, July 22nd, 2013
Strength to you.
It's so pathetic when these 40+ y.o. men actually believe that the 20- something y.o. age group are truly into them and will remain faithful. Ha!
Young howorker: "What do you mean, Old Hubby? I can't go clubbing with my friends and stay over at my other sex friend's house? You are so mean, daddy, err, I mean Hubby!"
Me:BW
Him:WH
D-day(s),after years of TT and Gaslighting was Labor Day Weekend 2012, continuing for a week after. *Dammit! More TT 3/9/13
Really trending toward D- planning about it is my "happy place" now.
Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 10:36 PM on Monday, July 22nd, 2013
I'm so sorry.
It's never completely wasted effort - you've learned that you can overcome something horrendous like this. Look, you've already filed and moved on to the next step. It's not going to be easy, but you sound so strong.
Sending big hugs and support.
(((feelingfoolish)))
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom
soveryweary ( member #32265) posted at 10:41 PM on Monday, July 22nd, 2013
Hugs feeling foolish.
I am in your situation, although a few weeks further in.
Stay strong sweetie.
That first week I honestly thought I was losing my mind.
Stay busy, take care of you and your kids.
Divorced 1/3/14 after 31 years of marriage.
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