Cookies are required for login or registration. Please read and agree to our cookie policy to continue.

Newest Member: Starrystarrynight

Just Found Out :
The park bench

This Topic is Archived
default

 justinpaintoday (original poster member #42858) posted at 6:13 PM on Monday, April 7th, 2014

Visiting my parents. I went to the park bench where I proposed to my WW. I took off my wedding ring and set it where she sat when she said Yes. I then sat on the bench and threw the ring into the pond. I sit in my car crying as another piece of my love dies.

I am healing. Today she closed our joint checking account (one dollar balance) and refuses to return text when i asked about it. I want to reach out and tell her what I did, send pictures of the bench. I just know her heart is long gone and she wouldnt feel as sentimental. So i share here. I am okay this is obviously a monster trigger.

I never realized you could be in this much pain and not be dying.

posts: 700   ·   registered: Mar. 22nd, 2014
id 6751144
default

krispy47 ( member #42863) posted at 6:31 PM on Monday, April 7th, 2014

I can feel your pain, and I am so very sorry. Wishing you peace and strength today.

Me: 47 WH: 48
Married 22 years, 4 kids
DDay: 3/5/14, 7 yr LTA plus rising ONS body count
Status: currently riding the coaster from hell

posts: 107   ·   registered: Mar. 23rd, 2014   ·   location: Virginia
id 6751160
default

Breezy150 ( member #42421) posted at 6:32 PM on Monday, April 7th, 2014

(((Justinpaintoday))) I am so sorry.

No advice just support.

I am so disappointed when a liar's pants don't actually start on fire.

BS me 41
WH 42 his whore was my friend
Married 24 years
Finally finding R?
3 kids 3 grand kids
DDay 1 -Jan 2 2014
DDay 2 -Feb 20 2014 A went underground fo

posts: 544   ·   registered: Feb. 10th, 2014
id 6751161
default

Tred ( member #34086) posted at 6:36 PM on Monday, April 7th, 2014

Sharing can be cathartic. Sending wishes for continual healing.

Married: 27 years (14 @JFO) D-Day: 11/09/11"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

posts: 5890   ·   registered: Dec. 2nd, 2011
id 6751166
default

Foolme1 ( member #38606) posted at 6:37 PM on Monday, April 7th, 2014

I hate the triggers. I am still really close to my in-laws. After our divorce, I went to visit them for a week (they live out of state). I slept in the room that we used to share when we would visit. I drove past the stadium where we had our first kiss. Drove past our first apartment. It is all just so hard.

(((justinpain)))

He cheated. I divorced him. He apologized, I took him back, only to have him cheat again. I could not be more done. The love is gone.

posts: 196   ·   registered: Mar. 3rd, 2013
id 6751167
default

SpecialK ( member #42372) posted at 7:15 PM on Monday, April 7th, 2014

I am so sorry you are in such a dark place right now. As hard as it is though, you need to embrace it and fight through it, you can do it. Take care of YOU, stop worrying about what she's doing or thinking.

Are your parents being supportive? If so, take them out and have a peaceful dinner with them.

Hugs and wishing you sunshine

And miles to go......

posts: 1906   ·   registered: Feb. 5th, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern USA
id 6751204
default

Uhtred ( member #40392) posted at 7:21 PM on Monday, April 7th, 2014

Sorry for your pain brother. I wish I had something better to say.

Me: BH 38years old DDay 4-29-13Her: FWW 39

posts: 669   ·   registered: Aug. 23rd, 2013   ·   location: Houston, Texas
id 6751210
default

byefornow ( member #41992) posted at 7:24 PM on Monday, April 7th, 2014

Sending you prayers and support.

BW- me
WH - him
married over 25 years

posts: 98   ·   registered: Jan. 9th, 2014   ·   location: USA
id 6751212
default

4everfaithful83 ( member #41761) posted at 7:46 PM on Monday, April 7th, 2014

Hugs to you. Your post brought tears to my eyes. I can feel your pain in the words you wrote. Just know you are not alone. Sending you some strength today.

Always know if the juice is worth the squeeze...

ME: 36
1 doggie
DDay: June 24th, 2013
DDay 2 : August 22nd,2017

Left him August 26th, 2017

posts: 818   ·   registered: Dec. 24th, 2013   ·   location: Pennsylvania
id 6751243
default

freeatlast72 ( member #42758) posted at 7:49 PM on Monday, April 7th, 2014

I am so sorry....wishing you much strength today. Please know you are not alone.

((justinpain))

BS:42(me)
Kids: DD7
DDay: 12/31/2013
Married 15 years
DIVORCED!!!

You can't rationalize irrational behavior.

posts: 137   ·   registered: Mar. 13th, 2014   ·   location: North Carolina
id 6751250
default

LeftOutintheCold ( member #42856) posted at 7:53 PM on Monday, April 7th, 2014

It brought tears to my eyes too, as I read it. Stay strong - don't reach out anymore to her. This is about YOU and your healing now. (((hugs)))

Me - 43
WH - 41
Dday - 3/6/14
Married 5yrs, together 11yrs
Status - Divorce from the ass is in progress!

You can see more of my story on my blog here: http://thatcraftylunchlady.com/?p=833

"Never give up hope and let time heal you"

posts: 340   ·   registered: Mar. 22nd, 2014
id 6751258
default

tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 7:54 PM on Monday, April 7th, 2014

(((Justin))))

You know what you did was allowing you to have a fresh start. While I can hear the pain you are feeling in your post I also admire you for having the strength, and the sense to no longer tolerate the disrespect, dishonor, and pain that she was bringing you.

You will heal, you will be stronger, you will be happier. It's hard to believe right now. But it is true. You have chosen to heal.

Now go do something incredibly self indulgent, and if that means going to a local watering hole and playing a few games of golden tee do it!!!

We got your back.

Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 20380   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 6751262
default

 justinpaintoday (original poster member #42858) posted at 8:03 PM on Monday, April 7th, 2014

Thanks all. That was rough but I needed closure. Make it clear I do not miss the WW of today. The one demonizing me and playing with other men to fill the hole of worthlessness within her.

I miss the one on the bench. The one that died a year and half ago and was replaced by the woman in a Midlife Crisis on steriods. It is hard knowing they look at you with such contempt. One breathe at a time. Tommorrow I go home and see my kids while she will run off to who knows where.

I never realized you could be in this much pain and not be dying.

posts: 700   ·   registered: Mar. 22nd, 2014
id 6751270
default

LA44 ( member #38384) posted at 8:10 PM on Monday, April 7th, 2014

Justinpain, I very sorry for your pain. Glad you posted here instead of texting her. I too am wondering if your parents/any others are being supportive. SI is here.

Keep posting.

LA

Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

posts: 3442   ·   registered: Feb. 7th, 2013   ·   location: Canada, eh
id 6751280
default

 justinpaintoday (original poster member #42858) posted at 8:30 PM on Monday, April 7th, 2014

My support network is amazing. I have people coming from everywhere to support me so I am a blessed man. Few know of the infidelity, just we are getting a D. That's ok. I have no interest in hurting her or ruining the name of my children's mother.

I just wish she would move out and the D would be over. I hate conflict and have a boatload coming. It is an adversarial process. I continue to pray I will maintain my character through it all.

I never realized you could be in this much pain and not be dying.

posts: 700   ·   registered: Mar. 22nd, 2014
id 6751306
default

yearsofpain25 ( member #42012) posted at 8:48 PM on Monday, April 7th, 2014

Terribly sad and symbolic. I'm so sorry. I did something similar after the death of my brother. That's what this is and you are grieving. Thinking of you brother. Only way to go is up from here.

"I remind myself of this. I am a survivor. I have taken all this world has dished out and am still here. So there is no reason to be afraid. Whatever happens, I will survive. So now onto living. It is time for me to thrive." - DrJekyll

posts: 4519   ·   registered: Jan. 11th, 2014   ·   location: Northeast US
id 6751326
default

norabird ( member #42092) posted at 8:53 PM on Monday, April 7th, 2014

I think these ceremonious moments to give oneself closure, revisit the past and realize the future will be different than you expected can be wonderfully cleansing. Good for you for both taking this moment to say goodbye and for coming here to share instead of telling her. Progress

Sit. Feast on your life.

posts: 4324   ·   registered: Jan. 16th, 2014   ·   location: NYC
id 6751331
default

SoVerySadNow ( member #36711) posted at 9:59 PM on Monday, April 7th, 2014

I'm so sorry you are in such pain.

Sending good thoughts your way. And strength.

Me:BW
Him:WH
D-day(s),after years of TT and Gaslighting was Labor Day Weekend 2012, continuing for a week after. *Dammit! More TT 3/9/13
Really trending toward D- planning about it is my "happy place" now.

posts: 1292   ·   registered: Sep. 4th, 2012   ·   location: Sunny Florida
id 6751410
default

JT4588 ( member #42971) posted at 11:26 PM on Monday, April 7th, 2014

justinpaintoday, I am so very sorry for the terrible hurt you are suffering. Infidelity is such a horrible thing - what it does to us is beyond comprehension for anyone who hasn't lived it.

I have to say that I really felt for you when I read that you threw your wedding ring in the pond. I threw my ring in the desert the night of DDay and then my husband's ring the next day. He was pissed but mostly because it was an expensive ring. I told him I was throwing our rings out just like he'd thrown our marriage out. I don't regret it one bit. Sometimes you do the things that make you feel the best - throwing our rings out made me feel better.

Hugs to you and many wishes for your heart to find peace and comfort.

posts: 166   ·   registered: Apr. 2nd, 2014
id 6751520
default

ChinaCat ( member #42797) posted at 4:09 AM on Tuesday, April 8th, 2014

Prayers and support to you.

"Every time I stay out late; every time I sleep in; every time I miss a workout; every time I don't give 100% - I make it that much easier for him to beat me!"
Me: BS & Beautiful!

posts: 80   ·   registered: Mar. 16th, 2014   ·   location: USA
id 6751806
This Topic is Archived
Cookies on SurvivingInfidelity.com®

SurvivingInfidelity.com® uses cookies to enhance your visit to our website. This is a requirement for participants to login, post and use other features. Visitors may opt out, but the website will be less functional for you.

v.1.001.20250404a 2002-2025 SurvivingInfidelity.com® All Rights Reserved. • Privacy Policy