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General :
Meanest, most insensitive & dumbest things Others have said ?

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 Dorothy123 (original poster member #53116) posted at 4:20 PM on Monday, March 20th, 2017

What are some of the most mean, most insensitive, and dumbest things OTHERS have said to you about your reactions to WS A?

I'll start.

Meanest.

" Your crazy and physco ".

Most insensitive.

"Get over it ".

"He cheated on you, so what ?"

Dumbest

" Best way to heal is to not talk about it and don't think about it."

Let's hear some of yours.

[This message edited by Dorothy123 at 10:22 AM, March 20th (Monday)]

"I’ll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!" Wicked Witch of the West.

posts: 5583   ·   registered: May. 7th, 2016   ·   location: a happy place
id 7813767
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imagoodwitch ( member #23375) posted at 4:28 PM on Monday, March 20th, 2017

My EXSIL told me that I needed to be careful because my EXH was a good looking man.

This was after I found about the A and was talking to her about what a selfish ass her brother was being.

I stopped talking to her that day.

Ordinary average everyday sane psycho super goddess

posts: 6906   ·   registered: Mar. 25th, 2009   ·   location: Munchkinland
id 7813776
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sickofsurviving ( member #52308) posted at 4:31 PM on Monday, March 20th, 2017

The most insensitive thing was very early on. Probably 2 months or less. My "friend" that I chose to confide in said, "I can't help you, if you refuse to help yourself".

Then, her and her husband showed up at my house about a month later. Uninvited. Her husband stood in my foyer threatening my WH.

Needless to say, they are x friends at this point.

BS-me 54
WH 56
Married 2004

4 DDs 35,30,26,25
Sexting affair with his 1st cousin 2007-2008 maybe
D-Day 8-8-15
Married

posts: 861   ·   registered: Mar. 17th, 2016
id 7813781
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burn ( member #57119) posted at 5:27 PM on Monday, March 20th, 2017

Former IC said "At least he didnt love any of them- that must make you feel better."

Well- that was the last session with the IC. Yep- thank goodness it was anonymous encounters and dating sites- I feel so much better knowing that he prefers sex with strangers.

Me- BW (45) Him- fWH (46)
Married 23 years, 2 kids
DDay 12/15/16
8 years of emotionless affairs

posts: 270   ·   registered: Jan. 26th, 2017   ·   location: Nor Cal
id 7813824
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Brave30 ( member #41124) posted at 5:30 PM on Monday, March 20th, 2017

In regards to XH's first know A, which took place one month prior to our wedding and didn't come to light for another 2 years...

"Well, he did it before you were married so it really doesn't count. Everything changes once you say those vows, that's when it becomes serious."

Um... I'm fairly certain that since we had been dating and engaged for 6 years prior to our wedding AND I was pregnant with our first child... It was pretty serious already.

I also heard...

"At least he didn't hit you. THAT would be unacceptable"

"OW #1 has a cute face."

Right... So, that's supposed to make me feel better, since she wasn't necessary ugly looking.

posts: 379   ·   registered: Oct. 27th, 2013
id 7813826
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Anth ( member #56917) posted at 5:33 PM on Monday, March 20th, 2017

OW said to me when i made the mistake of calling her and telling her that we were still in a relationship, not separated, having sex and trying to work things out..."oh, well if you think of anything else I should know please call me"

BS 51 WH 46, 23 years tog, 19 DD
DDay Jan 7 2017
Dating sites / Cl since 2013, prostitutes Feb 16- Oct '16, EA Nov 2106, turned PA Feb when he moved out straight to live with OW- still with her we separated, doing logistics.

posts: 507   ·   registered: Jan. 15th, 2017   ·   location: London uk
id 7813830
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Breakaway ( member #50448) posted at 5:48 PM on Monday, March 20th, 2017

"I realize you're going through a lot right now, but I'm tired of hearing about your problems since you never listen to my advice on it anyway." (Former friend)

"The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else." (Well-meaning friend who has never been through this.)

"I regret leaving my husband, and I think you're making a mistake." (Someone who had been through this but was struggling.)

Me: BW (32)/Him: WH (34) serial cheater
Married: 16 years/Children: DS 14
OWs: At least 8 over 15 years
D-Days: 2015-18 (10 total)

posts: 1224   ·   registered: Nov. 19th, 2015
id 7813843
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 Dorothy123 (original poster member #53116) posted at 6:05 PM on Monday, March 20th, 2017

"I’ll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!" Wicked Witch of the West.

posts: 5583   ·   registered: May. 7th, 2016   ·   location: a happy place
id 7813861
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magnolia ( member #52886) posted at 6:15 PM on Monday, March 20th, 2017

"You better learn how to deal with this fast, or you will push WH away."

posts: 143   ·   registered: Apr. 22nd, 2016
id 7813874
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LilBlackCat ( member #57470) posted at 6:32 PM on Monday, March 20th, 2017

from WW..

When are you gonna stop punishing me for this.. I've more than paid my dues...

referring to me not simply accepting her new life and handing over the kids and also rolling over to her demands.

Also from WW

why are you still trippin.. you should be over it.. and we can be civil and be friends

I guess, she's to dictate when I finally get past everything.. Unfortunately, I'm not like her and can just walk away without remorse.

Me: BS 43 (Now 50)
Her: WW 37
18 M, 19 Together
4 Children, youngest is now 9.

Divorce Final as of 9/3/19.

posts: 1247   ·   registered: Feb. 17th, 2017   ·   location: San Diego
id 7813896
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TheCaterpillar ( member #49827) posted at 6:36 PM on Monday, March 20th, 2017

When I spoke to OW1 6months out from dday to get information and closure.

Ow: Have you seen the film The Other Woman? It's really funny.

Me: ....

OW: Sorry, I just thought it was a good film...

Yeah, see they didn't know they were all sleeping with a married man. Not the same as am ow sat at my table eating my foid, drinking my wine and lying to my fave!!

posts: 2593   ·   registered: Oct. 3rd, 2015
id 7813899
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Hardroadout ( member #56340) posted at 7:11 PM on Monday, March 20th, 2017

When MIL was told he had been cheating for years, her first comment was "I hope he wasn't leaving the kids with ME to babysit so he could do that." Not omg, poor you and kids! Not omg, how could he do that to you and the kids? No, no, no, her concern was ALL her. Apples do not fall far from trees.

I edit a lot because I am a terrible typist.

posts: 982   ·   registered: Dec. 9th, 2016   ·   location: Reality
id 7813943
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Northerngal ( member #45481) posted at 7:56 PM on Monday, March 20th, 2017

my best friend (former) who was our maid of honor, said "Maybe YOU should have been blowing sunshine up his ass!"

posts: 748   ·   registered: Nov. 3rd, 2014
id 7813985
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 Dorothy123 (original poster member #53116) posted at 4:48 PM on Tuesday, March 21st, 2017

Thanks for the replies.

"I’ll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!" Wicked Witch of the West.

posts: 5583   ·   registered: May. 7th, 2016   ·   location: a happy place
id 7814730
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againX2 ( member #52843) posted at 5:27 PM on Tuesday, March 21st, 2017

MC said to me that I needed to be sympathetic to WH. After all it is not easy to confess ones sins. Same MC said to me that we (her and I) needed to figure out what I was doing to make men cheat on me (ex husband also cheated on me).

My mom said that if I keep expessing the anger and hurt that WS would get sick of it real quick and leave.

My MIL asked (quite loudly while I was waiting with her in her doctor's office) if I was done punishing WH yet. MIL also reminds me that WS is human and made a mistake.

"I can't control your behavior, nor do I want that burden. However, I will not apologize for refusing to be disrespected, to be lied to, or to be mistreated. I have standards. Step up or step out".

posts: 181   ·   registered: Apr. 20th, 2016
id 7814778
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Marie2792 ( member #44958) posted at 3:57 AM on Wednesday, March 22nd, 2017

Either move on or file for divorce. You can't keep this up.

Cousin who divorced cheating husband).

You should not ask for the details they hurt. (Marriage counselor)

Me: BS,48 (41 at dday)Him: WS, 56 (49 at dday)Married 27 years, together 30 Dday : 9/9/14 3 week PA

posts: 4857   ·   registered: Sep. 22nd, 2014   ·   location: NYC
id 7815320
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TrustGone ( member #36654) posted at 4:40 AM on Wednesday, March 22nd, 2017

MIL picking me up at the airport after DDay#1 and OW confessing to living in my house when I was working out of state......"Well, we spoke to WH and he says that you changed after your brain surgery and didn't want to have sex anymore." I was livid to say the least and barely spoke to them on the drive home to get my vehicle. OK, well...that gives him a right to carry on a LTA and have the OW living in my home? Delusional much??

XWH#2-No longer my monkey Divorced 8/15, Now married to a wonderful man.
"A person is either an asset or a lesson"
"Changing who you are with does not change who you are"

posts: 10077   ·   registered: Aug. 30th, 2012   ·   location: Texas
id 7815345
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Wool94 ( member #53300) posted at 8:16 AM on Wednesday, March 22nd, 2017

I think it's the unintentional comments we get.

"What a great marriage you two have."

"Your wife is so good to you, you are so lucky to have her."

Makes me want to vomit. I just usually smile and agree. What I really want to say is what a true POS she was during her A. That I'm the prize!

D-Day #1: April 7, 2016
D-Day #2: May 21, 2016
D-Day #3: June 7, 2016
Me: 1975
Her:WW (amn8r) 1981
Son 2006
Daughter 2009
"God not only loves you, but He actually likes you. "-Stephen Hooks

"My faith is mine now."

posts: 3818   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2016   ·   location: Roll Tide Country 🇺🇸
id 7815400
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doesitgetbetter ( member #18429) posted at 1:17 PM on Wednesday, March 22nd, 2017

My mother, the woman who raised me and birthed me, told me "it's not MY fault he cheated, it's YOURS" during an arguement once. Haven't talked to her since and it has been probably 8 years now.

DDay - Dec '07
Me - BS
Him - WS
Us - working on R - again
May 18, 2010 - I forgave him fully!
D-day 2 July 4, 2015, turns out he is a SAWH, status, working harder than before
May 22, 2019 -slip/relapse. He forgot he has to work forever

posts: 4527   ·   registered: Feb. 29th, 2008
id 7815479
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Emotionalhell ( member #39902) posted at 1:30 AM on Thursday, March 23rd, 2017

From my x husband.

"If you'd only seen what she looked like you'd understand."

"You had gained a little weight." Which I responded with, have you looked in the mirror lately!

" what is it this time? Aren't you over it by now " former friend that had been through an affair 20 years prior

From x wayward fiancé "It didn't mean anything to me." Yep, apparently it did or you wouldn't of carried on the affair with a married whore for 20 something years prior to pursuing and proposing to me

From friends and family of X waywand fiancé ..... " He is crazy about you." So hard to bite my tongue when I hear that.

[This message edited by Emotionalhell at 7:34 PM, March 22nd (Wednesday)]

Me BS x2. 50ish Divorced WH #1. IHS with wayward #2 Dday #1 Oct. 2014Dday # 2 August 2018. Dday #3 December 17th.

posts: 1780   ·   registered: Jul. 22nd, 2013
id 7816180
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