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Has anyone come across a word that concisely describes the female version/equivalent of emasculation?

When I hear the word emasculation, initially I think of BHs who's WW have had PA's and their resulting feelings of rejection in sexual & manly ways. But emasculation can also happen in other ways, from men and women and other situations.

When a WH has an EA and rejects their BW in emotional ways that are essential to me, as a woman, to have a close, intimate relationship, is there a word for that rejection/devaluation of a female, something specific to females?

Not to my knowledge. Emasculation ties to the very root of how a man defines himself as a man. It's oftentimes difficult to communicate it to women in pain in a way.

The best way I can think of to describe it i, is there weren't many circumstances that would cause a woman to feel she lost her femininity until this century, with the lengthening of lifespans and mastectomy. Not to say there aren't things that can cause the emotion but the historically speaking the causes of the emotion where more common for men and thus the word existed for it.

At the same time, the inverse is the word for slut, that didn't have a lot of male connotations throughout history.

There may be a word for both coming in the near future with the changes in society nowadays.

efemulate?

I don't think there is a corresponding word. I think you should change this post into a quest to coin a new one.

[This message edited by Unhinged at 10:13 PM, July 17th (Tuesday)]

Based on "dehumanize", what about " dewomanize"?

Or demi-femicide? (It's not quite femicide but it's darn close to killing?)

Sorry...haven't had my morning coffee yet! :)

Websters also has these as definition

emasculated emasculating

transitive verb

1 : to deprive of strength, vigor, or spirit : weaken

2 : to deprive of virility or procreative power : castrate

In those contexts, not sure there needs to be a “female” version

To me, it’s similar to the word “rape”, defined as forcible/non consensual sex, but also as”an outrageous violation”

However, Unwoman woukd work?

The only context I know this in is cuck-queen. Kind of obvious what it is, just the normal situations in reverse.

early detour - I have wondered about how this feeling would relate to women.

Look at the I can relate forum for example:

1) Betrayed Menz

2) Men Only - Timeline to regain respect for FWW

yet there is no "Betrayed Womenz", nor is there a "Women Only - Timeline to regain respect for FWH" (maybe there is and it's just being filtered from me since I put MALE in my profile??)

I have wondered what social construct causes this to be the case. Do women not loose respect for their husbands? (rhetorical, I assume they do), Do women not want a place to shoot the bull like the Betrayed Menz thread? There are alot of fart jokes in there....

Before anybody gets their panties in a bunch, I am not suggesting that these forums be removed... I read them both, I get value from them both...

I just wondered which groups women get the same sense of connection in.... Which made me wonder if maybe women don't feel the same sort of "emasculation" that men do???? I would find that hard to believe, but I have wondered....

If I get a vote though... I like Unhinged's suggestion of "efemulate"

Hmm. I think for women, we often feel like we got removed from the lover role and thrust into the mom role. We lost our sexy. Lover is sexy, mom isn't sexy. It's like "So he goes elsewhere for sex...then what am I here for? Comfort, stability, laundry services?"

Momified? lol

Ha ha! Before I read this thread I was actually looking up the feminine version of the word "emasculate".

The two words that I found that most resembled, but falls short, is "defeminize"

Dr. Mary Stopes, described here in Margaret Jackson’s The Real Facts of Life: Feminism and the Politics of Sexuality, c1850-1940:

She even coined a new verb, " to defeminate", the equivalent of "to emasculate" to describe the women deprived of sexual satisfaction from coitus. A woman, too, she wrote, "is defeminated by protracted abstinence just as a man is emasculated by protracted abstinence."

and "unsex"

Based on the definition of male castration, we would need a more common word that refers to the ovaries - however there are only terms referring to the procedure itself (Oophorectomy, ovariectomy or ovarian ablation - as opposed to hysterectomy which is the removal of the uterus). You might be able to use unsex (unman / unwoman) for this depending on the context, but it isn’t a commonly used word. This could also possibly be used in the idea of role removal.

And lets not forget there are cultures that mutilate the genitalia of young girls (removing the clitoris) so that most women will not be able to orgasm. What the fuck is that called besides sick?

edited: to fix word

[This message edited by SisterMilkshake at 3:45 PM, July 18th (Wednesday)]

Hmm. I think for women, we often feel like we got removed from the lover role and thrust into the mom role. We lost our sexy. Lover is sexy, mom isn't sexy. It's like "So he goes elsewhere for sex...then what am I here for? Comfort, stability, laundry services?"

Momified? lol

Perfect! Haha. Momified is exactly how I felt. Good for laundry and cooking and bringing home an income. Not good for sex and fun and going out.

Butforthegrace just shared the opposite word of "emasculation". It is...effemulate. Looked it up on Urban Dictionary.

effemulate

To deprive of ones femininity, esp a woman by a man. The opposite of emasculate.

When a WH has an EA and rejects their BW in emotional ways that are essential to me, as a woman, to have a close, intimate relationship, is there a word for that rejection/devaluation of a female, something specific to females? -- earlydetour

Not to my knowledge. Emasculation ties to the very root of how a man defines himself as a man. It's oftentimes difficult to communicate it to women in pain in a way. -- Notthevictem

As I was reading this thread, a quote from Zora Neale Hurston's "Their Eyes Were Watching God" kept popping into my thoughts:

"She knew now that marriage did not make love. Janie's first dream was dead, so she became a woman."

One very regular theme of women's expressive works and in particular coming of age stories throughout many cultures is that it is simply part of womanhood in general to be essentially unloved, unappreciated, and uncared-for in the same ways that they are expected to love and care for others.

I wonder if that underlying cultural narrative hints at why we do not have any words to describe removing an essential component of womanhood that does not have to do with removing their reproductive capabilities. Almost as if part of the definition of womanhood includes that kind of rejection, objectification, and devaluation as a given rather than an exception. Perhaps that is why surviving infidelity does not challenge the conventional definition of what it means to be a woman, since being female inherently includes those experiences.

Just a thought.

Boom, Rasputina.

I think the same may be applied with the non existing male equivalent of the term "slut".

I think BrainFreeze brings up a good point -

why are there specific threads for men on SI but not women? I guess it's a "popular demand" thing, but I'd not really noticed it (and how cool for a man to notice? Thanks BF)

Since dday I've thought a lot about how a WH (or OW) think of themselves "feminist" and participate in an A. I've considered posting on SI to get other perspectives, but don't feel comfortable (is "feminist" considered political on SI?). A womenz thread might be an acceptable place for such thoughts...

Or maybe I just need to be the heroine from Frozen and let it go....

Rasputina...brilliant. I think the narrative is strong throughout our culture and obviously, in lit. In fact, how many stories are there of the “crazy woman” in the attic or the woman who does try to find herself but realizes she has to give up herself to be wife and mother?

Over and over here, the narrative is that men feel it worse, and I find it insulting. All of us were blindsided. All of us thought they never would. That we chose better. The feelings of betrayal are there. The loss of safety and security? The loss of monogamy? Not having a choice in our own lives? There is no difference. In fact, I’d even say that the trauma of this has the same effects on our brains. Wish I could do a study. The fact that women don’t get it or feel it the same is utterly ridiculous to me. I’m glad there is a word. That feeling is the reason that I feel as if I have to betray myself to stay. In the end, we all deserved better. It’s now where we go from here that matters.

Agree, demolishedinside. I went from feeling like an attractive sexually-open woman with a professional job to feeling like a frumpy boring old bag who was good for nothing but household chores. I don't think that it's harder on either gender. I think it's the same level of pain and mindfuck.

Perhaps that is why surviving infidelity does not challenge the conventional definition of what it means to be a woman, since being female inherently includes those experiences.

Over and over here, the narrative is that men feel it worse, and I find it insulting.

Yeah, I'm sorry you both feel so strongly. Let me ask a simple question. What are the chances another woman you don't know would hear about your husband cheating, come up to you, and accuse you of not being a woman because of it? What's the probability of it?

What are the chances, if you got a divorce and were out on a date with someone new that another woman would try to encroach on your date by telling the guy that because your husband cheated you must not he sexually able to satisfy a man? That you weren't a real woman?

These things happen to dudes. Commonly.

Now I get it that you ladies are hurting. And by no means am I downplaying that pain. We dudes aren't special cookies because we also have to deal with an internal strife about whether we still see ourselves as real men.

You're confusing the loss of pride, the self doubt in social/sexual/economic value with the doubt in level of masculinity.

I don't envy what bw go through. It's just as painful. But it is different.

Ask yourself why does the thread 'timeline for respect for fww' exist? Why doesn't one exist for women? Do women not value respecting their wh as much?

Notthevictem --

Yeah, I'm sorry you both feel so strongly.

Why should you be sorry?

Wait.

Should I be sorry that you feel strongly about the same topic?!?

What exactly are we sorry for?!?

Okay, this is confusing.

Let me ask a simple question.

Hmmm. That seems disingenuous, but sure. Go for it. Simple question it is.

What are the chances another woman you don't know would hear about your husband cheating, come up to you, and accuse you of not being a woman because of it? What's the probability of it?

If you're asking me personally, it's 100%. Not just for me, but also for a number of other women I know. In fact, I'm pretty sure several of our members have shared stories along this vein. This isn't a phenomenon that is restricted to males only.

However.

I'm getting the impression that you didn't closely read my original comment, so I would invite you to do so again at your leisure. The questions you're asking don't align with my comments.

What are the chances, if you got a divorce and were out on a date with someone new that another woman would try to encroach on your date by telling the guy that because your husband cheated you must not he sexually able to satisfy a man? That you weren't a real woman?

These things happen to dudes. Commonly.

... who are these people that follow you around on dates heckling you?!?

Is it just like a shitty Greek chorus composed of stalker frenemies loudly questioning your masculinity between dinner and the desert course?

I'm calling shenanigans on this one, at least until more members can testify with their own personal experiences of this phenomenon.

I feel like this has to be an uncommon occurrence.

You're confusing the loss of pride, the self doubt in social/sexual/economic value with the doubt in level of masculinity.

You misunderstand.

This is not about personal pride or your individual value as a social/sexual/economic commodity.

This is about an underlying cultural expectation that women should expect to be treated poorly unless they are with exceptional examples of humanity, or held in exceptional value by their loved ones. This is about a baseline expectation of mistreatment and abuse, solely because of gender. This is about being treated reciprocally and decently not because it is an inherent expectation you are entitled as a human being to hold, but rather because you have been lucky, valued, and/or made "good" choices.

This is about boys will be boys.

Ride or die.

Fuckboys.

ALL that incredible nonsense, and so much more.

Let me ask you a question. Can you imagine what it feels like to have your father, grandfather, and uncles sit down with you on your 10th wedding anniversary and tell you how lucky you are that your wife does her share of the work around the house after you both finish up your respective work days? That she's never gotten drunk and beaten you or your children? That she comes home most nights of the week? That she got you a card for your birthday? Can you imagine them telling you with envy in their voices that you better appreciate it? That you'd better be on your best behavior and never take it for granted, because some other man will come by and snatch that up or your wife might start to feel not appreciated enough and act out? That you should not make too big of a deal if she does misbehave from time to time because girls just want to have fun? That you're being such a little prince because you expect more than that? Do you know what it feels like to realize the bar has been set that low for what you can reasonably expect in a relationship? Do you know what it feels like to realize that none of your male family members have ever experienced more than that?

I'm very sure there are men who relate to that, too. But not because they are men and that's just how it is for men. That's what we're talking about, among other things.

Ask yourself why does the thread 'timeline for respect for fww' exist? Why doesn't one exist for women?

That's exactly what we're doing. I'm glad you're joining us.

There are so many fascinating comments and good ideas on here. How do we start this Betrayed Womenz thread?

Eh, this is gonna be one of those threads where no matter what I say its gonna get wordsmithed into something else. I'll pass.

There has been a bw thread started a couple times since I have been here. It doesn't get enough traction to stay in most cases.