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I'm still in a daze from the events of the last five days. I just can't believe the things xWH continues to do. This is a doozy.

xWH and I have one outstanding marital asset in the form of shares in a company. At the time of our divorce, we divided the outstanding loan we took to buy the shares 50/50 and entered into a secondary agreement that establishes we will share the proceeds from the future sale of those shares (if there are any proceeds) 50/50. I hadn't thought about this asset in the last few years because I honestly didn't think it was worth much and I was mostly worried about getting stuck with half of a big loan.

Then . . . last month, after my children began having visits with xWH again, they came home from one of those visits in which DD's (age 15) boyfriend had accompanied her. The boyfriend could not stop talking about the sports cars xWH has. That didn't spark my interest, in and of itself, because xWH has always been into cars. But DD's boyfriend could not stop flipping out about his Lamborghini Aventador. Aventador. Aventador. He said it 50 times.

Finally I looked up what the hell an Aventador is and learned that starting MSP is $417,000.

Say what?

Well, that got me thinking, of course. I know xWH makes a lot of money, but he was fired last September, and that doesn't seem like a purchase an unemployed guy would make.

I called my attorney and asked what he thought. He suggested I approach the company in which the shares were held, show them the evidence that I have a legitimate and legal interest in those shares, and ask them to provide you with an update on their disposition. So I did.

On 4-11-19 they wrote me back and informed me xWH cashed out our shares in November 2017 in the amount of $1.9 million. He had the money wired into an LLC in OW's name in another state.

I nearly wet myself.

My attorney filed paperwork that day seeking an Ex Parte Order. He advised me to stay in a hotel, assuming xWH would retaliate ferociously, so my daughters and I have been staying in hotels since then.

You guys...my head is spinning. In the middle of all this, I'm still getting my daughters to school each day and I go to work, but I just cannot believe this. It is beyond comprehension. What could he be thinking?

Thoughts? Suggestions? Advice? Has anyone discovered something like this post-divorce?

I hardly know where to begin and/or when to trust returning to my home with my girls. Yesterday I ordered a new and improved home security system, so maybe after it is installed.

Gah.

[This message edited by I_Do_Exist at 7:17 PM, April 17th (Wednesday)]

Have your attorney go full force legally before he spends it all.

Get your share ASAP. If that means taking the new car or other assets so be it

Any threats immediately file a Restraining Order !!!!!! After calling the police.

Take zero chances.

You knew you couldn't trust him so......

[This message edited by Marz at 6:42 PM, April 17th (Wednesday)]

Oh my gosh! I’m speechless.

Omg ... I’m so sorry your XH is so reckless and deceptive AF!!!

Those shares were a marital asset and he absolutely had no right to do what he did.

Contact your attorney ASAFP!! Does your state allow you to file a financial restraining order so you can freeze the funds?

What an idiot buying a $400,000 car!!!!!!

Marz: That was exactly my attorney was trying to do with the Ex Parte Order (which would have immediately frozen his assets and allowed us to put a lien on any property we could find), but the judge denied the Motion and said we have to go through the normal process of serving him, giving him 20 days to respond, etc.

We served him yesterday, but he now has the next 20 days to continue liquidating and hiding things . . . if it's not already gone. He has had this money for over 18 months, so who knows if there's any left at all.

I feel on high alert and as vulnerable and worried for my safety as ever. My attorney, individual counselor, and our family counselor all agree xWH has the characteristics of a family annihilator.

My attorney is also worried that the only thing that has kept xWH from really losing it is the fact that he's been relishing in his perceived "gotcha" in stealing that money from me without me knowing.

I'm scared. This all happened so fast. I woke up to a regular Thursday last week and by bedtime I was hiding in a hotel. I have emotional whiplash.

[This message edited by I_Do_Exist at 7:31 PM, April 17th (Wednesday)]

Holy crap, please be careful.

What a piece of shit he is.

My WH is 100% capable of this, too. And deep down, I know he could kill me and sleep like a baby that night.

Please protect yourself any way you can.

Would any of you consider letting this go? When I spoke to my attorney about that possibility, he told me it would be insane to not pursue this amount of money.

But *he* has never been scared to death someone has the capacity to truly harm or kill him and his children. He can't understand how high the stakes feel to me.

Of course I would like to have the kind of money that would change the financial security of me and my children, but I keep wondering if any amount of money can ever be worth the way I've felt for the last five days.

Dropping it or not, he knows you know. I don’t think you can put the genie back in the lamp - even if you don’t persue it, he’s be paranoid you COULD. I feel like that’s as much a threat to him as the actual action.

If it were me I'd take the info you have on him and get a meeting with the local police department.

With the info you have You may be able to have a squad car drive by at random, etc.

Ask your attorney. He may have another angle that you could use.

IDE...wow...what a fucking piece of useless shit he is!

Have you asked your attorney if that would fall under larceny or grand theft or something to that effect?

He just robbed you of a whole shit ton of money and in any other situation, that amount definitely falls under the felony category.

I am not a lawyer, so I have no idea, but it would be worth asking.

I would not let this go, personally. And I do understand your fears because I have been there. The first three years after I left my ex, I moved seven times because my ex was a psycho. But...not only did he steal that money from you, but he stole it from your children.

And that should not stand.

That all being said, I support your decision, whatever you may choose to do. Like I said, I understand that fear and I know how awful it is. But if there's a chance he could go to prison over this, I am enough of a bitch to do my damnedest to send his ass there.

Much love to you. I am so sorry that he is such a rotten excuse for a human being.

I've read your story

No amount of money is worth yours and your kids safety

Have in said that he already knows you know so he is going to explode no matter what

So maybe the best defence is offence let your lawyer go full attack on him, he will be so scared from what will happen to him he will back of

[This message edited by max2018 at 10:01 PM, April 17th (Wednesday)]

I think you have to pursue it since capital gains taxes were due, in 2017, on the gain.

Wondering if the OW is also liable since the money went to an LLC in her name. Sounds kind of like a form of money laundering too regarding your half of the money and how it was stolen and transferred to OWs LLC etc.

Could the company be liable for negligence in how they handled this situation? Wonder what the capital gains tax ramifications were and how that was handled and paid if owed? Shouldn't you have received 1099 related documents for 2017 as a co-owner? Just sounds fishy and hope there are no tax ramifications for you to get snarled up in...

This is unbelievable and I hope you and your kids can find a safe haven.

I am speechless. Stay safe and

Ftg!!!

Wondering if the OW is also liable since the money went to an LLC in her name. Sounds kind of like a form of money laundering too regarding your half of the money and how it was stolen and transferred to OWs LLC etc.

The company on the basis of having received the money, and the OW, if she knew what was going on, on the basis of knowing assistance.

Did your lawyer at the time talk to you about taking a charge against the shares and registering it or getting the share certificates held in escrow? If not, there might be a negligence action there.

It might not be a criminal offence, unfortunately.

I know it's scary but I think you've got to fight.If you don't then he'll know he can simply intimidate you to get his way in the future. Be strong!

I was thinking about your situation and wanted to start with - OMG what a #$%^&*( douchebag of an ex you have.

Having said that .... I am going to guess that odds of you getting anything is extremely small. Your ex doesn't sound like the kind of guy who would save his pennies for a rainy day. I was just running rough numbers in my head - the stock was $1.9 million two years ago. You know he's spent at least $475,000 (plus taxes) on a crazy sports car. That leaves $1.4 million, which he's probably blown through. My guess is that he never bothered to pay any taxes on it at all, which could easily exceed $300,000 (and that's on the low side - significantly more is probably owed) by now. You're going to spend thousands on your attorney. Just running rough numbers in this paragraph - and your half of that $1.9 mil has already been spent.

And ... you're hiding in a hotel with your kids because your ex is a crazy $%^&* SOB.

To be honest ... I too would consider letting this go myself - mostly because I think you'll spend a lot of money (and emotional energy) trying to get money that's already gone .... which is next to impossible. BUT - I'd only do so if I could be reassured that I'm protected from the IRS coming back and saying 'you owe the taxes on money you never received." In fact, after I know I'm protected, I'd report him to the IRS myself. For that amount of money ... I bet they'd go after him. And that would keep him busy for a while.

I feel that way, though, because I am guessing your EX not only has no assets to liquidate (a house? other money somewhere?) ... but also is unlikely to get a job (and won't have anything in the way of income to pay you back anytime soon).

My attorney is also worried that the only thing that has kept xWH from really losing it is the fact that he's been relishing in his perceived "gotcha" in stealing that money from me without me knowing.

^^^This. But the thing is, your EX also *wanted* you to know. He baited you with the car. He obviously wasn't hiding it at the very least so it was a matter of time before you would wonder where that cash had come from.

Gah. I hate your EX so much.

I would try and get law enforcement involved if at all possible and continue down the legal route. I would increase home security and go back home as soon as you can.

Absolutely no contact with him and make sure the children know not to communicate with him until this is resolved. I get completely that you're at Defcon 1 threat levels at the moment and anything could tip that balance.

Big hug. I'm incredibly sorry that your Ex is really a major league asshole.

I’d keep going with the lawsuit.

At the very least you could get a judgement for your share of the money. It might settle out if court, too, if his atty convinces him to. Especially if it keeps him out of jail. And at the first hearing, the judge could put a freeze on his accounts.

The reason I would not be afraid of him currently is because he wants to be with his girlfriend. And he doesn’t think he’ll go to jail for this; he’s convinced himself he’s a genius.

Also, he could - or anyone could - kill us at any time. My xh married the OW - was involved in a murder, so I 100% get your thought pattern on this. But I’ve realized anything could make them come after us and our children-or nothing. So, I stood up to them in court, also, and at the same time enjoyed my kids and their lives. Thankfully, you already won in court and your kids don’t have to go see him.

I’d say continue with the lawsuit, like another poster said, you really have to bc you might owe taxes on this.

[This message edited by homewrecked2011 at 7:31 AM, April 18th (Thursday)]

I am sorry for you.

I understand your fears.

My friend was murdered years ago in Maryland by her annihilator Husband. He killed the entire family. He was running a Ponzi scheme or perpetrating some financial fraud and it was going to come out and he would be arrested.

He decided the family couid not live with the Shame and guilt he would cause them. (The wife and kids had no idea and thought he was a successful attorney or financial guy). He killed all of them.

Please be careful. Where $ is concerned some people are crazy and petty and vindictive.

[This message edited by The1stWife at 7:27 AM, April 18th (Thursday)]