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General :
I just wish...

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 Leelee1013 (original poster new member #62677) posted at 9:27 AM on Friday, May 10th, 2019

I just wish I had someone to talk to about everything....

posts: 5   ·   registered: Feb. 12th, 2018
id 8376090
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Smallwonders ( member #39363) posted at 9:29 AM on Friday, May 10th, 2019

I think we are all in that boat to some degree.

posts: 85   ·   registered: May. 26th, 2013
id 8376091
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 Leelee1013 (original poster new member #62677) posted at 9:50 AM on Friday, May 10th, 2019

Yeah i guess we are, it's so hard to connect sometimes after all this mess.

posts: 5   ·   registered: Feb. 12th, 2018
id 8376099
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The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 10:56 AM on Friday, May 10th, 2019

Here we are. Talk away!

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 12 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.

posts: 14760   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8376110
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STLLOST ( member #65656) posted at 5:14 PM on Friday, May 10th, 2019

Yep 1st wife is correct...talk away.

posts: 248   ·   registered: Jul. 31st, 2018
id 8376302
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Chaos ( member #61031) posted at 5:17 PM on Friday, May 10th, 2019

That's what this place is for. Talk - you will be heard.

BS-me/WH-4.5yrLTA Married 2+ decades-2 adult children. Multiple DDays w/same LAP until I told OBS 2018- Cease & Desist sent spring 2021 "Hello–My name is Chaos–You f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die!"

posts: 4028   ·   registered: Oct. 13th, 2017   ·   location: East coast
id 8376305
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1Faith ( member #38975) posted at 5:27 PM on Friday, May 10th, 2019

We are here for you. We understand your hurt and your pain.

Share when you are ready.

(((hugs)))

Sometimes my life feels like a test I didn't study for

posts: 4131   ·   registered: Apr. 12th, 2013
id 8376312
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ThisIsSoLonely ( Guide #64418) posted at 5:34 PM on Friday, May 10th, 2019

I know what you mean. Sometimes I start to type something and stop simply because my fingers are not fast enough and my words are not accurate enough and my thoughts are so broken up they are incomprehensible even to me. Sometimes I need an actual VOICE and not just words on a screen - a real conversation.

My WH currently still works with his AP and NC has been broken so many times I don't even count it anymore, and the fact is that it likely won't stop until one of them quits, transfers, moves, or dies and there is really no one in my real life who would possibly get that. No one I can call and talk to right then and there when I feel like it. We're not even trying to R and it still frustrates the hell out of me...so I get what you are saying.

And oh...to be able to meet someone IRL would be spectacular!

You are the only person you are guaranteed to spend the rest of your life with. Act accordingly.

Constantly editing posts: usually due to sticky keys on my laptop or additional thoughts

posts: 2519   ·   registered: Jul. 11th, 2018
id 8376316
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Wintergarden ( member #70268) posted at 4:20 AM on Wednesday, May 15th, 2019

Pain is pain.

We are all here because that's what we feel and although everyone's situations are different we all have pain in common.

I want to fast forward to a time when life will be calmer, less painful and smiles come freely, but who knows when that will be. I am forever amazed how anyone can hurt someone so much, but these posts show a consistency of abuse, lack of respect and selfishness, time surely cannot correct. I am negative but would love to be positive again!!

posts: 311   ·   registered: Apr. 10th, 2019   ·   location: UK
id 8378425
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Noname2016 ( member #52245) posted at 7:11 PM on Wednesday, May 15th, 2019

ThisIsSoLonely - I get what you mean. I wish I had someone I could talk to. Just vent. Just tell how much my heart hurts sometimes. Like actual physical hurt. How much I miss what we had, and how much I am sad that I won’t ever have the life I envisioned. Today I am just a mess. Let’s just be messy together. Tomorrow will be a new day.

Me: 35(BS)
Him: 36 (WH)
DDay 1: 2016
DDay 2: 2019 (Different OW)

posts: 257   ·   registered: Mar. 14th, 2016
id 8378716
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Stilldenying ( member #62712) posted at 7:26 PM on Wednesday, May 15th, 2019

My WH currently still works with his AP and NC has been broken so many times I don't even count it anymore, and the fact is that it likely won't stop until one of them quits, transfers, moves, or dies.

I could have written this word for word. And he literally just said it ain't gonna change, no contact wasn't even an option. He'll do whatever the hell he wants. I'm crazy, won't stop digging, they are just friends... he's her mentor... blah blah blah. I am sorry you are also in this position. I am in FL and just joined a support group for betrayal. It was nice to talk to them, they really truly got it. My IRL friends support me but they want me out!!

posts: 91   ·   registered: Feb. 13th, 2018
id 8378721
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Lemondrop10 ( member #68910) posted at 9:22 PM on Wednesday, May 15th, 2019

I feel that way at times too. It helps to write on here but being able to talk is different. The worst is when there aren’t even words that can fully explain the things going on in my head. I unfortunately allowed my WH to make me withdraw from most of my friends and family so I don’t even know who I would talk to. I have been very private about my personal life also, mostly out of shame so I feel like it would take a year to explain it to anyone even if I tried. My job requires me to maintain a professional face at all times and I very rarely break that, I’ve grown very good at acting fine. But sometimes I get into my car after and scream at the top of my lungs. It helps.

posts: 113   ·   registered: Nov. 23rd, 2018
id 8378773
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maise ( member #69516) posted at 11:19 PM on Wednesday, May 15th, 2019

I feel this same way, actually exactly as Thisissolonely put it, sometimes I just want to TALK to someone. Verbally. Just have someone I can engage with on the phone or in person that understands. I also feel very scrambled in my words and thoughts when typing. But given the emotional stress of infidelity on us that are betrayed, it makes perfect sense for us to zap out.

BW (SSM) D-Day: 6/9/2018 Status: Divorced

"Our task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it."

— Rumi

posts: 980   ·   registered: Jan. 22nd, 2019   ·   location: Houston
id 8378823
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