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She hooevered me. The covert narc XWW hovered me.

First, she told me that I “look good.”

Then she said she was glad we did our bachelors in nursing program together. I thanked her for convincing me to get into this field and she put her hand one mine and said she wasn’t going to cry today but that got her emotional.

Next, she asked my mom to go up on stage with her for her part of the graduation. Next, she asked my mom if she could talk to her soon/meet with her. She told my mom that she wanted to write her a letter but used the opportunity to ask her to meet.

Then, during our candle passing ceremony, where each student lights the next ones candle (we sat next to each other due to alphabetical order), she lit my candle. I made a toast to her and said “hers to the end of a year of hell.” She was confused and just muttered an “uh huh.”

As I left at the end, she said she was glad that we went through nursing school together and hugged me for like way too long.

Glad that it’s over and I can begin NC. It was a hard day because I do miss what we had and wish it would have worked out to be the way it *should* have been.

She is a covert narc, and now I can begin NC. Hard day, but it is a positive life changing event

It was a hard day because I do miss what we had and wish it would have worked out to be the way it *should* have been.

Sorry man but there was never a chance of this working out. If it hadn't been the other OM there would have been another at some point.

Just be thankful this happened early.

Your mom should be in your corner. Tell her you need no contact and that means your family as well.

Any contact will just set you back. Your mom should understand.

Don't ever break it. Don't let her make you break it. NC for life. Maybe years from now when you've got zero emotions left regarding her and this period, you can respond to a text she sends--if she even would. But stay stront and focus on remaking yourself. It gets so much better. You'll get addicted to the freedom and you'll realize all the ways in which she held you back and held you down. You're doing great.

No contact. It is your rock and impenetrable wall she can never scale.

She tried to suck you back in. Good for you for not falling for it!

And congrats on completing your degree during these extremely emotionally challenging times. You will make a great nurse!!👨‍🎓

[This message edited by The1stWife at 3:38 AM, May 18th (Saturday)]

Congratulation on graduation! And stay strong, you know who she is. You got this, NC gets easier and easier after a while. And hoovering is so transparent once you know what they are doing. Just stay strong

To me, based on your description of these events, it sounds like the narc is ensuring you are still available as a supply for her.

Be prepared for her to continue to intrude on your and your families lives. Narcs need that constant attention and ego kibbles.

Block her everywhere. Ask your Mom to do the same. Protect yourselves!

Congrats on graduating. You did well getting through all of this and completing your degree. How did your Mom react to all of this? It must have been very uncomfortable for her to go on stage with her. No contact is the best route forward and that includes with your Mom. Good luck in your new career.

Had to look up what hovering meant. Wow. Thanks. I got hovered on my anniversary when I got a "thinking about you" text. I didn't respond. But now I know what it is. Congrats on graduating. You are on the cusp of a new life. Be careful with it, especially in the way of relationships. Spend some time examining your picker and fixing if need be. Mine was broken. Still is I guess.

Congratulations on graduating during this difficult time. If there are any other similar events I’d stay clear of her. She seems to be looking to make you her new cheating partner.... likes to juggle two men to keep up with her ego needs. I would also ask my Mom to go NC with her. She is using your mom so she can feel better about what she did to you. If wins mom still likes me it couldn’t have been too bad. She is also using her as a way of getting to you, spy on you, make sure you arnt talking bad about her. Have your mom tell her that she doesn’t feel right continuing their friendship because of the way she treated her son.

Thanks for the comments and support guys. It really means the world to me.

Yeah my mom knows she should maintain NC. She still is curious and I haven’t told her to go either way. Probably because a part of me is curious and looking for some items in the pain shop.

Well, we’ll see if the xww even does reach out to her and take it from there.

It’s funny how most narcs have the same behaviors. This hoovering yesterday did get to me but not until today. At least, throughout this whole affair, I have never shown her that I miss her nor have I shown her emotion. Yep, it’s an act I put on in her face, can’t let her know that I still have feelings.