SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Many of us have heard a version of these. Some are new to me. If you would like you can share what you have heard, or read here at SI. The craziest ones I have heard here were:

1. You used four different cheeses in your lasagna.

2. There were dust bunnies under the bed/couch.

3. You ironed my shirts.

4. You didn't iron my shirts. (a different WS)

What Else?

My favorite: "the only reason I didn't cheat on you the last 3 months was because the job I had didn't give me an opportunity."

Another favorite: "well, I gave her a ride home and she didn't have cash, what else was I supposed to do?" Hilarious_83

Well, what else was he supposed to do? NOT cheat!? Don't be ridiculous. MattNemo

Written in the Stars...

My ex was very into astrology. She cheated and later blamed the great American eclipse of August 2017. SaltyStrength

Was she a fire bender and lost her powers or something? grantchart

Pig!

"My wife was pregnant, so I wasn't getting any." my_future_wife

Ironic considering the best sex I ever had was with a pregnant girl. 10/10 would do again. Sporaticeratic

Whack!

Ex girlfriend cheated when I fell asleep. . . said "since I wasn't responding, she assumed I was doing the same, so she cheated." Whack. drusey3

Well yeah, people who cheat assume everyone else is cheating. She was probably being honest when she said that. carnivoreinyeg

Well if you didn't have fun...

"I didn't even enjoy it because I was thinking about you the whole time and I felt terrible." btallredi

Have heard a variation of this. It made the situation worse because not only was he claiming to be thinking of me throughout the whole thing, but then ALSO making the decision to continue. Like halfway through, "Wait what about my partner.... naaaaah imma keep goin." nice_ghosty

Damn Tinder...

"I'm just on tinder to confirm that there's nothing better out there. It helps me appreciate you more." pdxcranberry

I created a fake tinder profile so my wife and I could see what it was all about - we met long before tinder was a thing. While scrolling through, we came across my brother's girlfriend's profile.

Fortunately though, she'd just forgotten to delete her profile. Thehotnesszn

Excuse me?

College roommate would cheat on his girlfriend a few times a semester, then feel awful about it and realize how much he loved his girlfriend.

He started to rationalize that "you need to cheat to stay faithful." Sully1102

No Tarts for you!

A friend in college cheated on his girlfriend because she told him he had to stop eating pop tarts to lose weight, and he didn't know how to break up with her. When she found out, he straight up told her to her face he couldn't give up pop tarts. I wish that was a lie, those things are high as hell in calories. Krunzuku

The Spirits told me to.

My buddy's dad was diagnosed with Colon cancer. He starts going to chemo and his wife starts going out with some other guy. His sister found out his mom was cheating on his dad so she told my buddy and he sat his dad down and talked to him.

Dad confronts cheating mom and she says (paraphrasing) "my fortune teller told me that the best way to get over your death would be to start something new with someone else."

Now mind you, his dad is not dead, or really even close. The cancer is responding well to chemo, and he's been slowly getting better. She literally tried justifying cheating on him because he might die....

She no longer lives in the house, and she, best to my knowledge, has been ex-communicated from the family. Reddit

How touching...

"It's not like it meant anything." Oh good, glad we cleared that up. Maxmoose800

Same. That actually made it worse to me. Like damn, if you would've been madly in love with him and just couldn't restrain your emotions, I mean I would still hate you but at least it would've been better than "I don't have to care about someone to f**k them even though you and I are together" haha. Nickbotic

REDDIT

One if the reasons I heard was I did not support him. Specifically 10 YEARS prior he had a job opportunity that would have required a large salary cut but potential commission to make up for the salary loss.

I said it was too risky.

He agreed and took another job. No argument occurred. No fighting about it. He agreed with me.

Ten years later he brings this up as a reason to cheat. He said it with a straight face too.

Seriously?!

[This message edited by The1stWife at 5:13 AM, July 5th (Friday)]

My wh said he was lonely because he was always alone while he chose to coach a sport after work that took him away from me and our family most nights and weekends. He could have come home and we could have done something as a family line he could have come to his sons games. Only in hindsight does he see how his choices made him lonely and an absent husband and father.

"I don't like the way you sneeze"

I shit you not.

He later recanted that...but it will always stick in my head. Oh, there were more, but this is the most bizarre.

The1stWife, I got the same thing. Nevermind that I spent about half of our M as a single parent while he was off pursuing his dream career. But, I didn't go to one ball (after years of going to every ball he was home for) because I was exclusively breastfeeding his 4 month old baby, and I was not supporting him. Now, mind you, he knew that was what I did. That was our 3rd baby.

You watched more porn than me

Never got any reasons after the fact, so I've had to go back and read between the lines to find the cryptic messages. The angry statements, seemingly out of nowhere, that confused the hell out of me at the time, but make more sense through the lens of infidelity.

I added this one to another thread recently, but feel it applies:

"I told you I didn't want any more fruit cups in my lunch!" I was organizing the cupboards one day and he just yelled that at me.

Also:

"I thought you would be more active!" Said the day I finally agreed to go surfing with him, in the car on our way to the beach. This from a guy who sits at a desk all day and works out a couple of times a week for a month, then quits for a month. He does skate and surf on the weekends, but I wouldn't necessarily call sitting on a board in the ocean for 1.5 hours while catching 2 waves exercise. Meanwhile I work 60 hours a week and am on my feet 75% of the time, often carrying heavy loads.

Also, we went hiking as one of the activities on our honeymoon, and his out of shape ass started puking, then yelling at me and his daughters that we're lying that we are doing ok. Because you know, if he's out of breath, we should be too. Actually got mad at us for not being as affected as him.

Cheating coworker after leaving his wife: “I hate the noises she makes when she’s on the toilet”

Me: “huh? Does she hum, or sing or something?”

Him: “no I hate the splash”

So maybe OW doesn’t poop...?

"She was nice to me."

Mmm-hmm. I bet she was.

@the1stwife, He also brought up, still brings up stuff from the beginning of our relationship, before marriage that make me an awful person in his eyes. I was very tipsy one night that we went out, VERY early in our relationship. He bought me a hotdog from a food truck, and says I purposely dropped it and made him buy another to be mean.

That's seriously one of his biggest arguments about me and how I'm so mean. He says I say "mean" stuff. I call him out when he's caught in lies.

If one of the worst things you can say about me in a 10 year relationship is that I purposely dropped a hotdog to be mean to you, I think I can live with that and sleep very well at night.

How about "I resented you for having a baby, because I didn't want to have one." When asked why he didn't tell me he didn't want to have a baby his reply was

"Because I didn't want you to resent me."

"She told me I was the smartest man she'd ever known"

"He was physically attractive and nice to me."

WH: “she complimented me”

Me: “did I not compliment you??”

WH: “of course you did, but you’re my wife!”