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Gottagetthrough (original poster member #27325) posted at 2:53 AM on Thursday, July 30th, 2020
I am a phone addict. So today I said I’m going to try not to be in the phone. I wasn’t much, just to take pictures. One kid and I hiked 7 miles. All kids and I played outside for several hours. I made my kids and the family members we are staying with this summer tacos for lunch and spaghetti for dinner with strawberry shortcake for desert.
It was one of those full days where you go to bed sore and happy and tired.
Wh starts texting me that I was supposed to help him with this and that, that I’m lazy, my ideas are dumb, and he won’t do anything until I come home. Meaning- he’s staying in bed til I come hime. He wants me to come home MONDAY .
Um, no.
I put him on mute. I want to tell him sooo many things, but I just don’t care. I don’t want to go home to him. I don’t want to see him. I’m not lonely for him.
BentandBroken ( member #72519) posted at 4:22 AM on Thursday, July 30th, 2020
Way to go! 180 the s**t out of him!
20+ year relationship; Never officially married
Dday November 2019
4 wonderful grown children
WH multiple APs, currently involved with married COW
Kicked him out on Dday and that was that
JanaGreen ( member #29341) posted at 4:39 AM on Thursday, July 30th, 2020
Im so sorry. I remember my ex doing similar during the D process and it was so draining and terrible. You WILL get through this! Big hugs
ibonnie ( member #62673) posted at 5:11 AM on Thursday, July 30th, 2020
Keep him on mute. Tell him to send you an email if he needs to talk to you about kids or finances.
"I will survive, hey, hey!"
Carissima ( member #66330) posted at 7:04 AM on Thursday, July 30th, 2020
Have your relatives started the eviction proceedings to get your WH out of the house yet?
Gottagetthrough (original poster member #27325) posted at 10:59 AM on Thursday, July 30th, 2020
Carissima-
Not yet. We have called and know how to do it. But I was hoping for an in house separation (we have a mother in law suite in the basement with its own entrance) for financial reasons but I don’t think that’s going to be possible now.
LadyG ( member #74337) posted at 11:39 AM on Thursday, July 30th, 2020
In house separation is very hard even with adult children.
My WH wouldn’t move out, so I did. He soon followed.
For some reason my WH still gets jealous when I spend one on one time with my children. My eldest lives in a share house a street over from me and we ran a few errands together and WH was desperate to ask DS what we did together today.
Younger son still lives with WH until D is settled but son will visit me on weekends. As soon as he gets home WH again is desperate to speak to him about our time together.
We don’t speak about WH as my children made it very clear that I should have left WH years ago.
As for the phone, we are strictly no contact unless it’s extremely important and again he can only contact me 9-5 Monday to Friday. My evenings and weekends are so peaceful.
September 26 1987 I married a monster. Slowly healing from Complex PTSD. I Need Peace. Fiat Lux. Buddha’s Love Saves Me 🙏🏼
The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 10:03 PM on Thursday, July 30th, 2020
Some of these Posts sound like the cheater has the “I only want what I can’t have” mentality.
They had you as a spouse. Cheated and her and now D or S. And NOW they want you to pay attention to them. Now they want to invest in a relationship.
They had it. They blew it. It’s over.
Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 12 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.
homewrecked2011 ( member #34678) posted at 12:06 AM on Friday, July 31st, 2020
He doesn’t want you to be happy.
Try to “grey rock” him from now on and do not tell him anything about your life.
Sometimes He calms the storm. Sometimes He lets the storm rage, but calms His child. Dday 12/19/11I went to an attorney and had him served. Shocked the hell out of him, with D papers, I'm proud to say!D final10/30/2012Me-55
ZenMumWalking ( member #25341) posted at 2:19 AM on Friday, July 31st, 2020
Me (BS), Him (WH): late-50's
3 DS: 26, 25, 22
M: 30+ (19 1/2 at Dday)
Dday: Dec 2008
Wanted R, not gonna happen (in permanent S)
Used to be DeadMumWalking, doing better now
crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 3:14 AM on Friday, July 31st, 2020
Right?! I hate getting texts from STBX. I got one today that said “I have some issues brewing that I would like to discuss.” He always has an issue and he’s a miserable person trying to drag everyone down around him including me. Communication with STBX leads me down a rabbit hole or is crazy making. Sometimes I wish he would have left me for any AP. This is sheer torture. I wish I never met him.
fBS/fWS(me):52 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:55 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(22) DS(19)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Separated 9/2019; Divorced 8/2024
J707 ( member #63778) posted at 4:42 PM on Friday, July 31st, 2020
Right. You're lazy. You went on a 7 mile hike, made lunch, dinner and dessert and enjoyed your day without him. Sounds like a good beautiful day!!
Poor me lazy WH: I'm going to be poor me being lazy laying around pouting until you come home because you're lazy and your ideas are dumb. Poor me, acknowledge me.
You: Mute. Are those crickets I hear? They sound beautiful!
nekonamida ( member #42956) posted at 8:10 PM on Friday, July 31st, 2020
Good for you, GGT! See how good life can be without him around to suck the energy out of you?
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