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Hi all, just wondering if it’s possible to end up with health issues after becoming a BS. I’ve read little bits about the possibility, along with PTSD like symptoms, but I am wondering if anyone has experienced it.

I’ll keep this short and sweet. I am 54 now, but I’ve led a healthy, active lifestyle. I exercise and eat right, not overweight, nor too thin! ha And I do like red wine!

Anyway, since DD I’ve experienced more headaches, more body aches, I have a tentative Dx for trigeminal neuralgia (still waiting for appt to get to the bottom of that one), I am having back and hip problems. An MRI shows stenosis and a buldging disc. I’m doing PT, acupuncture, I’ve had one back injection and waiting on number 2, and have an appointment for a nerve study for back/hip issue. Sometimes at night, I feel like I’m sleeping tense, lately I wake up in the middle of the night with my hips and glutes aching. I can’t sleep, it sucks!

He is in counseling now and actually asked his IC if he could be the cause of all my issues. Can’t remember what her answer to him was, but I thought it was interesting he actually thought he could be the cause.

I have not discussed any of this with a doctor yet.

I mean, sheesh, I am 3 years post DD…. shouldn’t I have had issues in the beginning, or did HB get in the way? I am beginning to wonder if I’m happy or kind of depressed or what.

Yes, trauma and stress can have an impact on your health.

A National Library of Medicine topic named Trauma-Informed Care in Behavioral Health Services has this in Chapter 3 Understanding the Impact of Trauma:

Trauma, including one-time, multiple, or long-lasting repetitive events, affects everyone differently. Some individuals may clearly display criteria associated with posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), but many more individuals will exhibit resilient responses or brief subclinical symptoms or consequences that fall outside of diagnostic criteria. The impact of trauma can be subtle, insidious, or outright destructive. How an event affects an individual depends on many factors, including characteristics of the individual, the type and characteristics of the event(s), developmental processes, the meaning of the trauma, and sociocultural factors....

...Physical
Diagnostic criteria for PTSD place considerable emphasis on psychological symptoms, but some people who have experienced traumatic stress may present initially with physical symptoms. Thus, primary care may be the first and only door through which these individuals seek assistance for trauma-related symptoms. Moreover, there is a significant connection between trauma, including adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), and chronic health conditions. Common physical disorders and symptoms include somatic complaints; sleep disturbances; gastrointestinal, cardiovascular, neurological, musculoskeletal, respiratory, and dermatological disorders; urological problems; and substance use disorders.

Dr. Besel van der Kolk has the book The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma that isn't specific to infidelity, but about any trauma discusses the impact of trauma on the body. Studies have shown that trauma can leave lesions on the brain similar to people who have had strokes. Extreme stress can also cause issues with the heart muscle. (Broken heart syndrome.)

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma

This great book helped me understand just how trauma can effect... everything.

So, yes, severe trauma can effect your health. Talking about this with my pcp helped. He'd heard it all before, I wasn't the first, and I'm sure I wasn't the last.

Thank you leafields and Unhinged, I’m going to search for that book now! I appreciate the information and will talk with my pcp at my next appt.

Thanks!

def talk to your PCP about it. Mine was great and even worked to differentiate menopause related stuff and A related stuff. But yeah, immediately after the A I got a slew of issues - some bigger, some just annoying. The hair loss sucked. This is why we advocate so aggressively that the BS take extra good care of themselves during this period- you need to take care of your mental, emotional and physical health to try to counteract the affects of the A.

Keep being your own advocate!