Anotherdayfromhere (original poster new member #85707) posted at 2:00 PM on Friday, November 28th, 2025
My son is so much happier now that i have made the decision to reconcile.
The pain of a D was making me feel like a bad mother. My shift of my mind into a positive place to see WS in a new light has been life changing for both of us.
I'm curious to know what helped people with this shift. There were two main things for me, but if there are more stories I'd love to hear them.
1) being intimate
2) saying affirmations to eachother
InkHulk ( member #80400) posted at 3:48 PM on Friday, November 28th, 2025
Looking back on your previous posts, you posted once at the beginning of the year and then has been a lot of silence, so don’t know very much from which to give any advice.
My first impressions is that using sex and affirmations to get over what you said in your first post that you flatly can’t forgive, and doing it for the sake of your son’s short term happiness, that sounds like some dangerous rugsweeping to me.
How you view another person should not be some kind of self manipulation. The tools of sex and kind words are powerful, but they don’t get to the root of it. Your husband betrayed you deeply. It is his job to rehabilitate his image with you thru long suffering honesty and integrity. Trust is shattered in an instant but takes years to rebuild. Don’t try to short cut that, or you could be suffering from this indefinitely.
People are more important than the relationships they are in.
Anotherdayfromhere (original poster new member #85707) posted at 4:47 PM on Friday, November 28th, 2025
I said intimacy, not sex. Just wanted to be really clear on that. Personally I found this hard to overcome. Then when I did, I just saw my husband in a different light.
I dont feel like I am rugsweeping? But maybe I am. Its only been a year. All I know is that our connection feels like the start of something again.
The context is my husband was having an A (emotional and physical). I have found so much strength from this site. I would love to know if anyone else found themselves healing by affirmations. This is really helping me. I now wonder if its self manipulation, but i feel its just helped me see things I couldn't before.
