Adame0 (original poster new member #86905) posted at 5:59 AM on Friday, January 9th, 2026
My wife has cheated on me several times in past… but I stuck through it for the kids. Our relationship has not been the best but we always got along. Now she found this man from our old hometown 12 hrs away and she claims he’s her sole mate. He’s very controlling and she has to message him all day everyday and it’s driving me crazy! I have been drinking to deal with it which I know is not good. But she continues to tell me details of the affair and now after talking to him for 2 months says that he will move here and impregnate her as soon as he sees her! We have 3 kids and are working on her moving out! She has been a day at home mom but now she has a job. Don’t know what to do it’s driving me insane!I still have to be in the same house as her until she gets her own place!
asc1226 ( member #75363) posted at 3:08 PM on Friday, January 9th, 2026
Pour out the alcohol, I don’t need to tell you why. Gray rock your wayward wife. If it’s not about the kids or the logistics of getting her out of the house there’s no reason to say it or listen to it. Make it a priority to be in another room or out of the house with friends and your kids.
Alabama is a one party consent state, buy a voice activated recorder and keep it on you and recording any time you can’t avoid her. Use your phone until you get one. She sounds like she’s trying to provoke you. If she realizes it’s not going to work she might just skip to a false domestic violence report.
Check out the healing library here. If you haven’t consulted a lawyer do so.
I make edits, words is hard
NoThanksForTheMemories ( member #83278) posted at 5:32 AM on Saturday, January 10th, 2026
What happens if you tell her not to talk to you about this stuff? Or worst case, leave the room when she says things like this (I assume she isn't talking like this in front of the children). She is being unbelievably cruel and sounds like she's trying to hurt you more on purpose.
The best would be if you can do like asc1226 said and start to gray rock - that means not showing her how you feel inside, not responding to her words, not engaging with her actions. If she's doing all this to provoke you, practice controlling yourself and pretend like you don't care (with enough time and practice, one day you really won't care). She sounds horrible. Time to harden your heart and start letting go of your feelings for her.
And please stop drinking - you're only hurting yourself. Self-destructive behavior is very human when we're in pain, but in the end, you and your children will pay the price for it, not her. Good luck and stay strong!
WS had a 3 yr EA+PA from 2020-2022, and an EA 10 years ago (different AP). Dday1 Nov 2022. Dday4 Sep 2023. False R for 2.5 months. 30 years together. Divorcing.
