InkHulk (original poster member #80400) posted at 11:26 PM on Monday, August 31st, 2026
Had a very strange coincidence come my way this last week. As backstory, my ex has been dating someone for a while now, I’d guess something like 9 months. My kids are well acquainted with this boyfriend. They have a vacation booked for this winter with two of my kids. She has even started talking in ways that she and him are somehow making joint decisions regarding my kids. It’s weird, I’m talking with my kids about it, but that isn’t my point. That is just to set the stage that she is in what seems to be a significant relationship with this guy. You can see where this is going…
So my girlfriend was at a coffee shop in the part of town near my ex’s workplace. And it just so happens that in walks my ex, holding hands with a dude who is definitely not the new boyfriend. 
When she spotted my girlfriend (they have been around each other for kids events), she immediately dropped the guys hand, said something to him and left.
Is it possible to be both shocked and completely not surprised at the same time?
99% of me doesn’t care, the exception being that my kids are going to pay a price if this is the life she has chosen as her permanent path. But I have to admit I’m just a little stunned, which I guess means I still don’t think poorly enough of her.
I remember the day here where I really internalized the idea that it wasn’t about me, that if she had married someone else he would have been the poor sap instead. I have to admit it’s just a little different to see it play out. And so quickly. How bizarre, how bizarre.
People are more important than the relationships they are in.
Letmebefrank ( member #86994) posted at 12:04 AM on Tuesday, September 1st, 2026
I hope she’s nervous as hell right now. It’s always a surprise when you realize you still have some respect left to lose.
Can we play What Did She Tell Him?
"Oh shoot, I think I left the stove on."
"If anyone asks, tell them you’re my cousin."
"Ugh, I just swallowed a bug."
WontBeFooledAgai ( member #72671) posted at 12:08 AM on Tuesday, September 1st, 2026
It looks like you are going to have to tell your XWW's new boyfriend the news about her cheating.
Does he--the boyfriend that is--know why your marriage ended? If he does know and he decided to date your XWW anyway, then he is a *well nevermind*. I mean, what the hell is he thinking? The best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour. He still deserves to know about his supposed girlfriend cheating though.
[This message edited by WontBeFooledAgai at 12:13 AM, Tuesday, September 1st]
Unhinged ( member #47977) posted at 12:42 AM on Tuesday, September 1st, 2026
Is it possible to be both shocked and completely not surprised at the same time?
It's possible to be shocked that you're not surprised. I'd imagine it's also a little bit of vindication, too.
Married 2005
D-Day April, 2015
Divorced May, 2022
"The Universe is not short on wake-up calls. We're just quick to hit the snooze button." -Brene Brown
