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Talk to your lawyer. The blocking you in the house and now blocking you with their car ... added to the hostility toward you and your DD...We all know that things are only going to get worse at the house as you get closer to August 1st. Your lawyer might be able to use the above to get your WW out earlier or at least advise you on what to do if it happens again.

Sad that she hadn't seen DD all weekend and then she starts yelling at her first thing. DD will probably flip flop on how much time she wants to spend with her mother so it might be to early to try to change custody... but it says a lot about how upset she was. So glad you stuck around and pulled her out.

I'm worried about you and the kids if she stays in the house with you.

Make sure your lawyer is fully aware of how your children feel and what they express. Document everything! You've been the buffer for your children, protecting them, moving forward keeping life as normal for them as possible in the midst of crazy, they see exactly what's going on and so does your wife. She knows they prefer being with you and their guilt of not wanting to hurt her is waning because her behavior is so erratic and her life is about her more than it is about them.

Are you considering seeking full custody?

I offered her 50% in our initial settlement offer.

Keep VAR with you at all times.

Your wife may still have rights in your house, but your soon to be XMIL does not. Maybe file a restraining order.

Yikes!

Taking it out on the little is... just not right.

For next weekend- that is a tough one.

Maybe give the littles a chance to decide if they want to go with the mother- by letting them know the plan is they spend the weekend with her but you are around if they need you or want to bail (if logistically possible).

Do they have a phone that is just theirs for contacting you? I had to do this for my littles in the beginning because exww was very controlling with their contact of me when they were with her. Mostly they just needed reassurance that I was around.

For them, right now, they feel powerless and manipulated by circumstance. Giving them a voice will help them feel less out of control whether or not they refuse mother time. It will also demonstrate that you respect them enough to allow them a choice regardless of how limited it is.

How are you holding up, Mblink?

I'm good, Still debating the weekend deal. I was planning on getting away, about 3 hours away for visiting back home with friends and family. Which is years past due. DD comes home today from volleyball camp and we will discuss. If she has trouble then I won't go.

Stbxw took my DS last night. His words--- she is making me stay with her at grandmas. I was unaware of this arrangement. He has stayed at home by himself so it was not necessary for him to be with someone this morning while I left for work. Not sure why other than an attempt to piss me off.

Stbxw is also picking DD up from camp, funny that she didn't even know where it was. In order to make a good impression I guess she had to pick her up. It's all a game with her now for positioning and appearances.

My focus is just get this complete and move on. The kids are smart enough and will figure out the whys and how's.

At their age they may have a say in whom they live with. Do not put them in a toxic situation without giving them a say in things.

They are not young babies.

Your WW put them where they are at and you are their only safe place at this time.

Be there for them. No more my nice guy. Your kids come first whatever that might entail.

It's all a game with her now for positioning and appearances.

She prolly has been advised to spend more time with the kids and document it in a last ditch effort to get a better "deal" in the D. Expect that to continue. Just keep doing what your doing. A few weeks of her trying to now be assertive/involved with them isn't going to impact (what I assume) is the years of you being the primary "parent"

She probably has been advised to spend more time with the kids and document it in a last ditch effort to get a better "deal" in the D

That's what I was thinking...it would explain why she went bonkers about DD going to camp...What she doesn't realize is how long you've already be documenting.

His words--- she is making me stay with her at grandmas.

Did she move out? Wounder if she would be able to suddenly claim/enforce that DS can't be left home alone? I'm guessing this would cause havoc with your work schedule.

I had also wondered if she might try to get the kids to convince the judge they want to live with her full time... While she is so narcissistic I could see her thinking this way I don't think your kids would go for it.

One month and one week left...then she will be out of the house and you won't have to deal with her odd behavior as much.

Everybody, yes even stbxw, under one roof last night. DS made it home from the grandma trip. DD made it back from camp. Stbxw left when I got home but came back for some reason.

DS saus he hung out with grandma the whole time. Did pick up her iPad and the open page was to the OM linkedin account. So that is how stbxw has been staying in contact. Using mom's iPad and linkedin messages.

Stbxw made a big deal and had to pick up DD at camp. She rode with my daughter's best friends mother, a women she never liked, because she didn't know how to get to the college. I assume she told the women about our situation. Something DD didn't war to tell her BFF yet. I'm. It sure how the kids will tell their friends. BUT I've left that up to them.

My stbxw'S aunts have contacted me. They had heard rumors but didn't know anything. She isn't close to either and both offered support. I told California aunt the truth and she was pretty upset. Local aunt went t ok see MIL and SIl, my stbxw doesn't really deal with her, they both spun the story to be all about me a d my refusing counseling to work on the marriage. Claimed the rumors of her aflair were all untrue.

Also took my guns from the house to a buddy he will keep them for now. You just never know.

Other than that waiting on the appraisal to come back and then we can settle. Seems simple

Good job getting rid of the guns. She strikes me as pretty unstable.

Having no guns in the house as a West Virginian is a bit weird. But it is a sacrifice I have to make until this works itself out.

Local aunt went t ok see MIL and SIl, my stbxw doesn't really deal with her, they both spun the story to be all about me a d my refusing counseling to work on the marriage. Claimed the rumors of her aflair were all untrue.

Well, you can tell that aunt if she wants confirmation to check the MIL's ipad to find the OM's linkedin page. If the MIL hesitates, clears the cache on the browser first before handing it over or just flatly refuses to show it then the aunt has all the confirmation in the world that your version is the correct version. If you ain't got nothin' to hide, then show it with pride!

Glad you moved the guns... As you get closer to move out day I can see her behavior becoming more odd... and it fairly bizarre already.

they both spun the story to be all about me a d my refusing counseling to work on the marriage. Claimed the rumors of her affair were all untrue.

I think MIL and Ex really believe this...If you had gone to counseling then she wouldn't have HAD to have the affair. Since the Counseling was the problem not the Affair...the Affair doesn't count and didn't happen. Of course nobody but those two can see that logic...including you, the kids, and the court.

I'm sad for OBS that she is still in contact with OM but I know OBS asked you to stop contacting her. All of the times she quickly leaves the house and comes back could revolve around checking her Linkin account for OM messages.

What did you decide about this weekend - kids with Mom? Or are you staying home with DD?

[This message edited by Freeme at 7:33 AM, June 24th (Friday)]

Maybe you can put a bug in OBS's ear about the Linked In Messaging...

I think you may want to reinforce to DS that his mother is free to browse whatever she likes on the internet, and that he is under no obligation to monitor it, and certainly not to report it to you.

Reassure him that if he needs to talk to you about it, he can trust you, but you don't need him keeping tabs on his mom for you.

Do it pretty lightly. like he's been telling you she's sneaking candy when she's supposed to be on a diet.

It sounds like he may be carrying a bit of a burden around here, being caught in the middle.

My son iS definitely the burden carrier. He offered that up and I just listened. I did not make it an issue and did not ask questions. I do need to let him know that it is fine and he doesn't need to monitor.

As for the weekend, I am torn up about leaving. DD just texted me and advised that stbxw told them if I left today they could stay at the house. Wouldn't need to stay at grandmother's all weekend. I know the kids don't want to do that. But I was planning on leaving tomorrow early. I don't like her dictating the schedule.

3rd point the lawyers had discussions on the flare up Sunday and I was advised that it will not happen again, keep recording in case it does. So that was a Nice way to end the week.

Blink...Sounds like you are high & dry. Y'all are getting some nasty South Louisiana type flooding in the Southern part of the state and I understand now that there are 14 dead. My continued prayers to you & your family for healing & the good people of West Virginia for a speedy and safe recovery.

Hey, brother, if it were me I would spend this time with my kids. I realize you need time away, and with a WW and MIL like you have, you certainly deserve it. But your WW is putting unfair pressure on the kids in my opinion, so I would favor them for the moment.

You will have time for you moving forward, but you need to make sure the kids know you are their rock, their support. The one stable thing in their life they can depend on. After all of this is done, being respected and loved by your children is the ultimate goal. Stay strong brother.