SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Was going pretty good, found out late today...... My hearing is pushed back until August 23. Adds a month to the misery.

Hang in there, sounds like your almost through this maze. I understand about turning the tables. My wh is doing that with my sister, all of this is my fault. Glad to see you blew that up! I will do the same too. Glad you are a rock for your kids. The definitely seem to know who they can count on. Kudos to you for being a great dad and role model.

Glad the lawyers got involved in the blow-up...hope it doesn't happen again but at least its been documented.

My hearing is pushed back until August 23. Adds a month to the misery.

Is her move out date still Aug 1st? Once she is more permanently out of the house it will get easier on you and the kids. It will be "interesting" once she is not able to come and go from the house as she pleases...She will not have the option of spending the weekend with the kids at your house.

You are doing great. Hope the weekend went well for the kids with their mother.

She took the kids to Pittsburgh for a ball game. They had a good time. That was good for them vs. having to go to and stay at grandmothers house. It appears she did not qualify for the mortgage on the house she liked. The kids told me they were going to have to live with her at grandmothers for several months. Neither wants to go, but I don't know that I have an option to stop her from taking them there. I am not sure why she doesn't just get an apartment.

mblink, ask your lawyer about custody in regards to your kids having a preference. 14 is old enough to have a say in where they want to live in most states. They shouldn't have to have their primary house be at grandma's if they don't want it to be so don't think it's set in stone and push for their interests to be served.

14 is the age here for the kids to have a say. DD does not want to go there and start high school in a make shift place and arrangement. She will tell the court she wants to live with me more than 50% and for our home to be the primary residence. I am pretty sure the court will have the 12 year old follow suit, not that he wouldn't ask for that same arrangement. Just at 12 I don't think his choice is allowed or even considered.

how's it going mblink? she still acting as if she's the victim?

She is still living in a dream world. Long troubling weekend, but the kids are home and we are good for the night.

Stbxw asked to switch our informal weekend schedule to allow her to take the kids to a family pig roast on Sunday. Which I did, the kids wanted to go. I was invited and went the day before. Set up day. It wa good to see the extended family and the support each of these folks offered me was great. I hung out, drank a couple beers then went home. My Stbxw was supposed to pick the kids up at 11 on Sunday, guess what...... She showed up at 230 and dropped them off at her moms. Stbxw went later.

Anyway, she was supposed to bring them home by lunch. Never did so I called and texted. Found out she had left them at her moms and was out. So I picked them up and we came home. No trouble other than the lie that she would bring them back.

I doubt the court would separate their schedules. My brother got primary and almost 100%. His boys were well below the age limit but they spoke up and wanted to live with their dad. The court ordered a psych evaluation and that sealed the deal.

Your stbx seems unreliable and probably won't be able to keep a schedule. After a few months they'll probably be with you full time.

It'll be over soon enough.

My Stbxw was supposed to pick the kids up at 11 on Sunday, guess what...... She showed up at 230 and dropped them off at her moms. Stbxw went later.

Anyway, she was supposed to bring them home by lunch. Never did so I called and texted. Found out she had left them at her moms and was out. So I picked them up and we came home.

So did she even spend time with them? How are the kids taking it? Is it a "mom's just being mom" or are they getting angry?

I'm mad for you. You give her a prime holiday time to be with the kids and family and she blows it. I know you are documenting everything - Just keep an extra close eye on the kids as they've got to be feeling unwanted by their mother.

You said it was a family cookout, was OM there? Was his wife? Could your WW have realized that having the kids around OM was not wise... but still wanted to go herself? Very selfish of her.

Is she living at her Mom's house most of the time now?

The family cookout was for her dad's side, the OM is related on her mother's side, so he was not there. Backstory, she picked them up 3 hours late. Dropped them for her mom to take to the cookout and she showed up a couple of hours later. She only spent minimal time at the cookout. I'm sure that was he plan all along.

The next day she had no intention of bringing them home on time. Apparently, she was out looking at houses and the plan was for MIL to keep them there until she returned. Didn't work.

This week has been quiet. The kids stayed home Tuesday, she had the illness again and couldn't function as an adult. So she texted me. The kids were hole and fine. I stopped at the house and we all had lunch together. On Wednesday, she made the miracle recovery and took them out in the afternoon to look at an apartment. Thursday my sister was in town from.another state so I took the day and we, the kids and i, spent it with her. Friday mom took them again and had MIL spend money on them for my son's bday.

Which brings us to today. Hold on to your hats...... we are at a local trampoline park for his bday. He invited 2 friends. One is the OM kid. It's weird but they are friends. The kid is even spending the night. Obs called me and we covered the whole plan. Strange situation

Divorce proceeding question.

Last m ok nah I placed 400 dollars in out joint checking account for her to use

She used it and over drew the account by another 1000. Am I required to cover her miscellaneous expenses? Gas, food, etc. I pay all the bills and have the kids 90 percent t of the time. So I feed them. She is living at her moms so she has no real bills other than gas.

What do I have to provide

Dislcaimer - not a family attorney, not admitted in West Virginia.

You obligated to provide reasonable support for your children. Check with your lawyer, but I don't think you anything related to her expenses.

I would limit the overdraft on that account too.

I thought the 400 would cover her expenses. Didn't cover 2 trips to Pittsburgh and various other places. I am supporting the kids. But I don't want to give her money.

Pay the overdraft, document for court for reimbursement and close the account. From here on out, she gets $400 cash, period, after she pays back the 1k or 2.5 months later. Send your kids with food, and fun-money.

Pay the overdraft, document for court for reimbursement and close the account. From here on out, she gets $400 cash, period, after she pays back the 1k or 2.5 months later. Send your kids with food, and fun-money.

^^ This

I probably wouldn't give her cash unless there is some way you can document she received it, like have her sign for it or something. If she is now living at her mother's full time, you are essentially separated so her expenses should be her expenses. Honestly, I would close the account immediately and advise her you have done so. Otherwise, she will continue to take advantage of you. Hang in and hang on; you're almost there. (((( ))))

I probably wouldn't give her cash unless there is some way you can document she received it, like have her sign for it or something.

agreed

good point

As other's have said, close that joint account (and any others you have). Tell her to open her own account. Give her a check (as documentary proof).

If she can't open her own bank account (like my WW), give her a USPS money order. You get a receipt, and she can cash it at any post office (and likely Wally World). Only costs you <$2.

Check with your lawyer about how much, if anything you should give to your WW. Follow that advice.

Side story:

In my case, my XW didn't work. I paid all rent, utilities (except cell, cable - those were in XW's name), insurance. When she wasn't working, I was giving her ~$1000 on top; when she was working, I paid her nothing. In total, I averaged >$3800/mo for 18 months. CS would have been ~$2000, spousal support ~$1000.

Of course, XW claimed I didn't support her or the kids. I had the documentation.

At the custody/support hearing, judge ruled that I had met all my obligations, XW did not. I owed her nothing, XW got no additional support beyond CS (which got lowered because the judge said she should be working).

Bottom line: Do what you have to, so as to put yourself in the best possible light for the judge.

I did discuss with the attorney about all of this today. I closed the account, notified her, and I paid the 545 of overdraft fees.

The lawyer advised her attorney and advised me to leave her $10 to open an account.