SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

(((((Butterflygirl))))))))))sorry, for your pain. stay strong.

Five years ago today, I talked you into spending the day with me instead of going grocery shopping. There ended up being a mass shooting at our grocery store. I was horribly sad for the victims of the shooting and their families. It was so senseless. I was so grateful that you hadn't gone to the store that day. You were upset because the store was closed and you had to drive a little further and it was an inconvenience. This wasn't out of character for you. How the hell did I let myself overlook that sort of thing?

[This message edited by h0peless at 4:00 PM, January 8th (Friday)]

I didn’t want to do this, but it seems I have to. I will only continue to hurt if this goes on. You left me. You left your children. You went back to Slutty McSlutterson. You are not my friend. Do not call to check on me. I am no longer your concern. I have friends and family to help me out. You may certainly ask me questions re scheduling time with your children, but all else, you can figure out on your own, or better yet, call the woman your head and heart are with. You made the choice to cheat, betray and lie to me and our children. Your inappropriate behavior at the Christmas party are how your coworkers found out about your affair, not from any of my contact with my friends. I am talking to my family and friends about all of this now. I am going to my own therapist. I am no longer hiding my feelings or your actions. I understand you were unhappy. I was unhappy too. I was scared you would leave me so I stuck my head in the sand and ignored my gut. You left me anyway, years ago. I loved you so much that it was a hazard to my own health. I never wanted any of this, you did. I am trying to grieve our marriage so that I can move on.

Here I sit on another cold weekend alone with my dog. I could go visit my neighbor friend, but I don't want to. I am tired of being punished for what you did. I am tired of being alone all the time except for my few GF's. I am tired of having to break NC because you refuse to deposit my SS until I have to contact my attorney. Why do you want to keep things in turmoil? You got your LTA whore. You got out of all your responsibilities of owning a house/farm/cattle. You got your two faced family. So why bother me over a few hundred a month? Why do you want to hurt me all the time and keep me in your screwed up world? You knew you had to pay this, you agreed to it, so just pay it you drama king and leave me alone. Why do you feel the need to call me names and treat me this way?

(((TrustGone)))

I'm so sick of thinking about you. Wasting my precious time on you when you're so sick and empty. It's like thinking about the inside of a trash can. I'm having to revise every single thing that happened in the relationship, even the fact that there was a relationship when there never was anything resembling that. Having to rewrite everything as the fact of your deep sickness turns it all on its head. You seem so entirely sinister, so calculatedly unconscious. You are evil to me. I met evil. I hate having to come to terms with all this. I can't just ignore it and skip back to a happy life, to me, to me as I was. How do I get through it without it taxing my energy like this? You sucked up my energy for 3 years, and I want to live and be healthy. I'm not even two months out. Patience OP.

Yesterday mutual friends said they saw a video on FB of you and your sister. They haven't seen you since you left me and they were shocked at your appearance.

When you and I first got together, friends and family all said I was the best thing that ever happened to you. After we had been together for several years people said you never looked better, or happier.

But now you are an empty shell of the man I fell in love with. Are you still in there somewhere?? Does the life you chose with her still look good? It must...you're still there.

I can't believe I'm saying this but yes I would STILL think about R'ing, if you would own your shit and do the hard work needed.

[This message edited by DeeplyCrushed at 8:40 PM, January 11th (Monday)]

You canceled yet again on your kids for a bs reason. The cold??? possibly icy roads? Everyone was out yesterday, it was fine. I wish I can scream in your ear that PARENTING ISN'T OPTIONAL. I love your part when you emailed and said you'll call and let the kids know but are emailing me first so I can make arrangements. Ummmm, I had plans, and what arrangements? Your parenting time, should be your arrangements. And yet again, I had to tell the kids because you didn't call until an hour after they were supposed to meet you. Don't worry, I showed them your ridiculous email. They are getting the hang of you and all that you are,

Hey ASSHAT - would it kill you to show just two milliseconds of good faith and follow up on ANYTHING in any of our signed agreements?

I always knew you were all about the money, but I never realized just how bad it really is. It's all you can think about.

You resent every last dime of support you have to pay me - and I'm the one taking care of the kids while you're out living the single life and fucking that dumb ass whore who is less mature than *any* of our KIDS for Christ's sake!

They can't stand her, dumbass! TAKE THE HINT! It isn't just me!

I hope you feel every fucking penny of support you pay me over the next...however many years it's going to be. No - actually, I hope you realize what's important in this world, realize that you fucked me over after I gave up my CAREER to stay home with our kids because that was what we BOTH wanted, and realize that you OWE me you asshole!

[This message edited by nekorb at 6:06 PM, January 11th (Monday)]

You're telling people that I'm "poisoning" our children against you?

Am I the one who walked away from our 26 year marriage and never looked back?

Am I the one who has not spoken to our three kids in 6 months?

Am I the one who told our children that nothing would change...just their Dad's address?

Am I the one who then would not tell his kids where his new address was?

Am I the one who has chosen some slut, to have a "relationship" with, instead of his own children?

Am I the one who hasn't had contact with his kids and doesn't even ask about them?

I think you are doing a pretty good job of "poisoning" your kids against you...without my help.

Btw...tickets to The Nutcracker? $600 at Swarovski? You, my friend, are NO Richard Gere and your whore is certainly NO Julia Roberts!

You are such a fucking mess!

Sitting here alone in my upgraded hotel room, lovely four poster bed (lucky me.....), had a great day working, only 1 person knew you......then you pop into my head as you always do.

This time last year you came here to join me after we both finished work. Told me how happy you were we had decided to try again. Had dinner, made plans. Arrrgggghhhh you absolute frigging asshole, you deluded selfish arrogant lying cheating tithead!! How can what you have now be better? How can you be happy with that thing! Was a baby worth ALL of this.........has it made you happy!

I'm not by the way, just in case you ever care......

((((( Iggles )))))

My WH spewed the same lies. Fuckers!!!

Every day I pray that what goes around truly does come around!

Well, tomorrow is our court date. Seems like just yesterday you cheated on me and ruined our family. And now tomorrow it is the end of this 5 year nightmare.

It's a shame you won't settle out of court and save us both money. But, you would rather drag it on and make us both broke, just to prove that your the victim, and I am taking you for all your money. Just asking for what I deserve, what I worked for and what I earned for 21 years.

I am sad that 21 years is being thrown down the drain tomorrow. I will always care about you. I feel sorry for you. But I can't worry about you anymore. You have someone else to do that. Oh, and good luck with that. She's a real charmer.

BTW, I won't be your cheerleader anymore. Your relationship with our daughter is on you. Good luck.

You cowardly POS!!! Why must I go through this bullsh$t every month with you. SS is due on the 1st. Before it was you didn't want to send it to a PO Box, lawyer told you to deposit it to my account. You did finally. Now the same thing again. I guess I am getting punished because I ignored your last text about some stupid trinket that was sold at the estate sale for .25 cents. It meant so much that it took you a year to ask for it and I had forgotten it was even yours. I am tired of dealing with you. Just pay the stupid SS and leave me alone. Are you that bored that you have to create drama in your life to have one now? I will be contacting my attorney or I will file it myself. You say I am harassing you, pay the damn money and I won't even have a reason to ever call you again. Get a life!!!!

NC is the best thing I ever did for myself. Not that it's easy. But I NEVER would have got any clarity without it. Would have been dragged further and further into crazyland.

While you've been busy being the KISA, rescuing the whore's kids from their dead beat dad, did you ever stop and wonder who is rescuing your children from theirs?

By the way, that would be ME, you asshole!!

DS tells me the IC has instructed the both of you to spend more time together, outside of the established parenting schedule.

So help me God you had better make time for that boy...and WITHOUT your fucking whore in tow.

Btw - how do you think our daughters feels about you putting all of this time and energy into fixing your relationship with your son, but not them??

Just ONCE I wish you would think about how your actions look and feel to others.

Your just a fucking selfish NPD asshole that makes decisions entirely with his dick. What EVER is your little princess going to do with herself if you have to infringe on HER time to spend some time with your son?

Maybe 19 months ago would have been the time to address this. Do you think??

Asshole!!!

So tithead while you are enjoying your family life I sit here worrying about tomorrow when I should be looking forward to it. I get to spend the day with our friends, including your best friend, the one you did everything with, shared so many great times with, the one who hasn't heard from you in 8 months!!

As hard as I try to look forward to it because they are great, it only shows me how lonely I am, how much I miss you, how things have changed. So yet again I will put on the happy face and pretend I have moved on.....

I would never send this letter at all and I don't believe it but it is what I'm feeling today

_______________

I miss you so much. We can get through this. I will work on me and you will work on you.

Don't throw away all the energy I put into this house. Don't waste your life on the scum that you are hanging around, if you want to you could understand what is happening and change. WE COULD BE HAPPY.

Please I'm not trying to manipulate you or anything. You have seen me change, but you are still are incredibly cruel, I have seen you change and become very unhealthy, but you can change and become more healthy, we can be happy together.

You said you never loved me, but that can change, you can choose to love me and we will have an extravagantly happy life together forever. If you put 100% of yourself into our relationship (like I have since before we were engaged) you will experience true love and it is an amazing feeling. I feel pity for you that you have held back, it must have been horrible for you ever since we got together that you were unable to love me, but kept on stringing me along. We can get you the psychiatric help you need, we can have the life we've dreamed about.

I have to protect myself and will but I wish I didn't have to protect myself from you. I love you still, I thought I never wanted to see you but tonight I desparately want you call me and we can meet up, this can be the best night of our lives.

Please don't try to take away the house I built.

I don't understand you at all, how can you be so cruel? Goodbye.

Thanks for being so kind and trying to cancel our child's competition that her team advanced to. And thanks for trying to cancel it after 3 months of fundraising and practices you never came to. Oh, and thanks for doing all that on her birthday, very kind of you. And then telling me to talk one of our sons into going with you when he doesn't want to, and has a right to refuse. But most of all, thanks for already signing on the fact we can go to competition in our court order months ago, then saying you will call the police on me if I go.

You are really something. Over the past few months there have been numerous times you said you were going to do something, but ended up *not* doing it. And afterwards you either don't address it at all or you offer long-winded explanations and excuses. After each time I never respond, never give you a hard time. I always rather ENJOY listening to you talk your way into a corner

On Wednesday we talked about how I want more money from you each week and your response was "I'm broke." After 16 years of complete financial security I don't know how you go broke in 7 months, but apparently you have managed to.

As you were leaving work on Thursday you said -- "I'll see you tomorrow. I'll have money for you." But yesterday you got dropped off somewhere around 11:30 AM. It must have been at your whore's workplace so you could use her car because your truck was still in the parking lot at work when I left around 5:30.

You are so dishonest and spineless. I am sorry I wasted almost 17 years of my fucking life on you.

[This message edited by DeeplyCrushed at 9:18 AM, January 16th (Saturday)]

Psycho sickhead get out of my head.