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kitkat22 ( member #29877) posted at 3:20 AM on Saturday, March 26th, 2011
Almost 7 months out...ahhh, no, hell no!!! I am positive that his will be with me forever.
Vanity Working on a Weak Mind Produces Every Kind of Mischief...Jane Austin
D-Day - September 3, 2010, 5:30 am
Currently in reconciliation and happy.
Married 22 years, together 23
texann ( member #21129) posted at 3:32 AM on Saturday, March 26th, 2011
No almost 3 yrs out from d-day and I still wonder why I am still with this a-hole.
My Jack Russell is smarter than my FWH...and better trained!
hurt5 ( new member #30565) posted at 3:55 AM on Saturday, March 26th, 2011
Obsolutely not. For me it has been about a year and a half from the first A. Then Ifound out it was going on a few months ago. I am freaking out everyy day about what happened and can't stop getting it off my mind. some days are Ok, some are bad, some are terrible,, and some are unberrrable. It sucks. Why the fuck do our spouses do this to us? It hurts so much and some days I cant stand it and don't wont to go on with life.
sickofthelies ( member #28566) posted at 4:01 AM on Saturday, March 26th, 2011
I am 14 months out from the firt D-Day and I would love to say that I am healed, but I am not. I have come to realize that this is something I will live with for the rest of my life, everyday. I am in a better place than when this nightmare started but it's a painfully slow process.
BS-53 (me)WS-54Three amazing kids 29,27 & 22 D-day #1- EA with Bi-polar Ow Jan. 2010D-day #2-inappropriate texts from very unattractive co-worker Sept. 18th 2014What doesn't kill you is gonna hurt.
reallypisd ( new member #27407) posted at 4:11 AM on Saturday, March 26th, 2011
Nope 2 years out and still struggle frequently!
Me 40
Wayward Fiance 42
Together 8 years
5 children 3 19M, 16M, 13F his and 2 mine 10F, 9M
D Day March 20, 2009
EA/ A ? approx Nov 2007 to Nov 2008
MOW classmate and neighbor
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass it is about dan
JoyH ( member #5973) posted at 4:15 AM on Saturday, March 26th, 2011
No, 21 days is the only just baby steps into the process of recovery. More like 21 MONTHS to have some peace with this healing process, maybe more. This is a gradual and slow process. Some severe emotional trauma and damage to trust.
Sorry, no quick fix. Maybe you can try to sweep it under the rug in 21 days, but that rarely works. All that crap just festers and grows resentment if it is not addressed.
Initial dday 11/00.
Me: BS
H: WS,
Difficult road, but Reconciling.
"Forgiveness is giving up all hope for a better past and instead inviting hope for a better future."
"The Truth Hurts, But It's Best That You Know."
Linus1968 ( member #31243) posted at 4:34 AM on Saturday, March 26th, 2011
Really, 21 days???? I did not read every answer, but, 21 days??? WOW! I guess I am the odd one for taking so long getting over it.
I guess I just wonder why WSs think BSs should be able to get over it so quickly when many of the A I read about took months, and years to get to that point. Maybe we are the selfish ones holding on to the pain and grief. We are the stupid and silly ones for the nonsense of holding on to the betrayal of trust of the A..... 
BTW, no.
You're an interesting species. An interesting mix. You're capable of such beautiful dreams, and such horrible nightmares. You feel so lost, so cut off, so alone, only you're not. See, in all our searching, the only thing we've found that makes the emptiness bearable, is each other. - Contact
Me: Me
Her: Multiple men, multiple times, OC with the latest one
S: 17, D:15
May 27, 2014 DIVORCED!!!
In the words of Dory "Whew, I'm glad I got that off my chest."
horseluvr ( member #30097) posted at 5:14 AM on Saturday, March 26th, 2011
A year and a half ago and it still stings like the day I found out. At 21 days I was so twisted I didn't know how I was going to get through the day. I have an uncooperative ws but even if he did everything a truly remorseful WS should do, at 21 days--nope too soon.
BS me WS him...3 great kids
DD 10-09 OW younger but doesnt look it,face looks like a dried up cow pie..note to c**tface:sunscreen
purplebreeze ( member #31611) posted at 2:06 AM on Wednesday, April 6th, 2011
almost 3 months and some days, I am just as hurt as the first.
acompletemess ( member #31119) posted at 2:12 AM on Wednesday, April 6th, 2011
A BIG NOOOOOOOO from me!!! Its been over a year and I am still broken. Some days are better than others but I still have lots of triggers. My H is doing all the right things and I know he sometimes gets frustrated but I am doing the best I can at holding myself together! Praying time will heal us all!
Rdy2MoveOn ( new member #31548) posted at 2:17 AM on Wednesday, April 6th, 2011
No... and if your WW thinks that, she has no idea the damage she has done!
Me BS 40's - Her fWW 40's
Married 23 yrs - 1S 3D
D-day 8/4/2010 9 mo EA had just went PA
In R
Forgiveness involves giving up the hope of a better past.
forever.haunted ( member #28645) posted at 2:19 AM on Wednesday, April 6th, 2011
uuhhh...NO
1.5yr out and I think about A everyday and I hurt everyday and I continue to feel unsafe, scared, and paranoid of most everyone.
Your WS needs a real wake-up call...
this is reality ... the pain from my wounds are real and very deep.
Betty Betty ( member #31714) posted at 2:20 AM on Wednesday, April 6th, 2011
Only six weeks, but NO
I find an odd thing happening. In the first few days, I could not fathom the person I thought was my H doing the things he did. Now I'm having a hard time fathoming my H being the person I used to think he was. My perception of him has changed. Over it? No way!
wounded heart ( member #31764) posted at 2:26 AM on Wednesday, April 6th, 2011
Are you kidding? Just over 3 months in and I still feel like I'm losing my mind. 
The only one I have to answer to the Lord for is me.
BS- me, 46
WS- husband of 28 yrs
Phone, internet and then physical affair with his best friend's wife.
D-Day Jan. 11
Attempting Reconciliation
gonogo1 ( member #25518) posted at 2:29 AM on Wednesday, April 6th, 2011
Hell NO. I'm 2yrs past dday today ,I'm working towards getting peace with a D staring at me. I'm hopeful for healing But I'm not there yet . I will never forget.
Copied from HUFI-PUFI
Don’t listen to your head, it’s easily confused. Don’t listen to your heart, its fickle. Listen to your soul, God doesn't steer you wrong.
steph ( member #11564) posted at 3:08 AM on Wednesday, April 6th, 2011
My H thought I would be mad for a couple of hours and then get over it.
Uhhh, no, 21 days is not enough time.
I'm still not "over it" I've learned to live with it as a part of our lives, but over it? No
Me BS
Him WS
LTA 14 yrs as far as I know
Feb 8, 2011 (original poster member #31137) posted at 3:11 AM on Wednesday, April 6th, 2011
Now that this thread has been ressurected (56 days after my D-Day), I want to point out to newer members or those reading it for the first time that the question was asked (dripping in sarcasm) as an outlet from a very frustrated BS (me), in disbelief that his WW could actually be so impatient.
changed the # of days
Nobody has said yes.
D-Day see username
and maybe March 11, 11
ME: 45 yr old BH
Her: 40 yr old WW
3 kids
married 11 years
Who is this woman in my house?!
sweetvoice ( member #23350) posted at 3:14 AM on Wednesday, April 6th, 2011
21 days!!?? I have moved on but it is a part of me, a part of my history, a part of who I am today and how I respond to everything from infidelity jokes on M.A.S.H. reruns and going to weddings and hearing vows exchanged. You are NEVER OVER it. You move on and it takes up less of your time and attention but it is ALWAYS there. 21 days - bah-humbug.
"...then suddenly you changed and now I don't know who you are. Or could it be that I never really knew you from the start?" -The Scarlet Pimpernel-
Soveryalone ( member #31708) posted at 6:52 AM on Wednesday, April 6th, 2011
I am somewhere around 21 days.
No, never.
If they expect that they don't even appreciate 1/1000000 of your pain or suffering.
BS (me) 31
WW 30 - lost.
Together for 12 years. Married 3.
DDay - 11-March-11
Separated.
emptyheart ( member #18873) posted at 5:49 PM on Wednesday, April 6th, 2011
3 years out.
NO, NO, NO, NO
are you kidding??
Me - BW, Him - WH
2 great kids that are my reason for living.
1st D-Day - March 28, 2008
False R for a year
2nd D-Day - April 11, 2009
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