SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Does your wife understand that her choices are seen by her daughter and color how she is viewed?

I think an understanding of that could motivate her.

Please read this study on shame vs guilt though--if your wife only feels shame about say how your daughter sees her, she won't be able to focus on changing herself; but if she feels guilt, she can take steps to redress it. I found this a really helpful read for clarifying the difference.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3083636/

my daughter has no idea what my wife was up too. we have kept that from her. she only thinks momma went out alot with friends. i think my wife feels both shame and guilt for what she has done to our daughter.

How are you doing today william?

Sorry, just to clarify--I didn't mean choices as in cheating, but certainly in terms of prioritizing other claims over your family. I hope your wife uses her remorse over that to prove your daughter's assmuptions wrong, and that she can try not to feel to oppressed by shame over it at the same time.

Hope you're hanging in there.

i just got a new D-day today. nothing from outside the same two year period but lots of other stuff. none as bad as what ive already known, no new PA people, but lots of general inappropriate shit. i need to detach for awhile. this really hurts. when i can wrap my head around it, ill post it in a new thread or something.

hey william. still here buddy. sounds like you got that list finally and at least the waiting is over. I'm very sorry. You should do what you need to do and detach for a bit.

I'm really worried about you william. please pm me if there is anything I can do for you.

ETA - "When going through hell, keep on going"

Winston Churchill

[This message edited by yearsofpain25 at 12:21 PM, March 24th (Monday)]

Hey there william. I'm sorry you are hurting so badly. It has to be completely overwhelming at times. You've had so much bad news -- it seems like "how much more can a person take?" I don't know the answer to that, but try to be kind to yourself. You're living in a nightmare that just doesn't seem to stop.

I hope your W is still trying to do the right things for your sake. That this news is more information, but not new developments in her efforts to R.

Take your time to absorb it all. You don't need to decide anything today. The rollercoaster doesn't stop anytime soon, unfortunately. Hopefully the twists and turns just get a little less intense over time.

Please hang in there. Find something nice to do today. Simple. Small. Just some little thing that brings you joy. One step at a time.

You are very strong. You are a survivor. You will be okay. Wishing you strength and eventual peace...

Hey there, William,

You okay over there? Just stopping by to check in on you....

Keep posting! We care about you!

Still

Funny. I was just doing the same. How you doing today william? We are still here not leaving.

You've gone dark william. We are worried about you...

http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=526797

is the new thread i created.

im not doing too well. ive hit despair. my wifes list had some new information on it (many guys she told were attractive, another sexting partner, lots of other general inappropriate behavior, etc) but not much. in fact, it had an alarming complete lack of details. not even things i knew about.

i put the "facts" in the new thread, including the back story. its a very long story, even the short version. sigh...

was rereading this yesterday and