SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

No I don't want to meet with you at all. I will have my lawyer discuss financial matters with you, and will take part whenever he needs me to, but I do not want to meet you or your friend or anyone else to try to hear you tell me why I'm worthless and blame me for your hateful actions. Stop bothering me now! Thanks!

PS. NEVER!

[This message edited by ceilingfanswitch at 8:27 PM, January 17th (Sunday)]

So you successfully avoided seeing me on Friday when you said you'd have money for me. No big deal, just one more time your word didn't mean shit.

This morning your boss told me you called him Friday night with a half-assed story about what happened, how you had a doctor appointment, etc etc. Probably all lies --- that's the kind of person you are now.

So many people can see you are going downhill. How come YOU can't see it? Or do you see it and don't care anymore?

You're a functioning alcoholic - functioning *for now*. How much longer can you keep this up? Sometimes I (still) worry about you. Old habits die hard, I guess.

When I think about our life together, before you hooked up with OW, it seems like 100 years ago. We had much to be thankful for, so many good times and so much love and laughter.

I hate you for ruining that. I hope you never find that again.

Guess what. I have hardly thought about you today. The incessant fantasies of saying this or that if you came back didn't take up so much of my time or energy. I'm getting there, slowly slowly. Ha ha ha. Nasty, lying piece of slime is going to stop sticking in my mind.

It's amazing how few positive memories I have. Unique in all my relationships. So little to rescue, so little you gave me. I can't think of sex because I feel raped. Just the days at the beach, and they were so fraught with anxiety so often. Everything was a lie, you are a lie. Even taking P for walks, you don't give a shit about her, it was just a way to slime up to me. Now it's time for you to get out of my dreams. I will dream you out. Slip away down the drain, slimebrain. What a gross insult, but that is how much you revolt me. Yuck.

[This message edited by Opinionsplease at 12:45 PM, January 18th (Monday)]

My STBXH has told my son that he is 'literally terrified of me'; in other words, he can't face me because he feels so bloody guilty over his disgusting behaviour with his whore and the complete betrayal of his family. So, I haven't seen him since he moved out on 1 June 2015. For a while, I forwarded his mail to him but I got no thanks for doing it, so now I just write 'Gone away' with a marker pen & pop his mail back in the post box. Gives me great satisfaction, especially if it's potentially important business mail. Well, he should have told everybody he'd moved. So now I can't even remember what he looks like and if he was the last man on the planet, I wouldn't have him back. He has screwed me over financially and I am facing a very uncertain future on my own but thank goodness I no longer have to put up with that pompous, arrogant, lying, cheating, bad tempered, womanising piece of crap.

So you want to be "friends" with me, do ya? Well, who wouldn't, I'm pretty fucking amazing. Not that you noticed as you lied, gaslighted, manipulated and lied some more - every single year that we were together apparently. I bet there isn't one single year that you were faithful to me.

So yeah, I don't blame you, even I want to be friends with me!

But to be with friends with you? No fucking thanks, I'd rather take my chances with an enemy.

Dear STBXSAWH,

You are NOT my best friend and you do NOT love me. You are a sick addict who doesn't care enough about anyone to get healthy again.

When we got back together in 2005, I was so impressed with you and the work you'd done getting sober and staying sober. You were always willing to hear the other side of the story and you were always willing to own your part in anything. One of your favorite sayings was about "keeping your side of the street clean." Well YOUR side of the street is a fucking MESS! You have become the very thing you said you despised.

A dry drunk and a dry sex addict. You've always said that "Addiction is a disease of extreme self centeredness." WAKE THE FUCK UP!!! YOU HAVE BECOME THAT SELF CENTERED ASSHOLE!!!!

The fact that the FIRST thing you did once we moved into separate bedrooms was start texting escorts tells me all I need to know about who and what you are. The fact that one of those escorts was the same age as your daughter spoke even louder. You used to think guys your age who went after "little girls" as you called them were sick perverts. Welcome to the club scumbag.

I did not drive you to cheat. I didn't drive you to blow jobs from guys off of Craigslist. I didn't drive you to invite a 24 year old Transexual to OUR HOUSE! I didn't drive you to have sex with your ex-wife in OUR BED. I am not to blame for your addiction or your lack of willingness to see the truth.

I am the best friend you will EVER have and I'm gone. You'll never find anyone who will treat you like I did or will put up with your bullshit like I did.

Good luck on your slide into degenerate Hell.

Fuck off and DIE ASSHOLE!!!!!!!

I feel better now.

You're an asshole. I mean just Such. a. Fucking. Asshole!

You barely see your kids as it is, do you think you're little fucking princess could just stay the FUCK out of it for a few hours a month???

THEY DON'T LIKE HER. WHY are you forcing her on them?

Can she not live without your presence for a few HOURS? She is such a fucking child!! And what was that bullshit in the car the other day when you were with DS????She called you to whine because you didn't say bye? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW???????

She is like a fucking middle school child, except she has the added benefit - to you - of being a whore. Completely open to your manipulation because she is a codependent, no boundary, immature MESS....but is willing to lay down and fuck you anytime anywhere, because she sure as shit knows where the money train is.

I just am really starting to hate you.

You're such a fucking selfish prick. You're going to do the same god damn thing with the kids that you did with me on every topic that you didn't like the answer I gave on - which is to just PUSH and PUSH and PUSH until you get what you want. How'd that end up for you in our marriage you FUCKING ASSHOLE??

Man, I really hate you today. I really, really do.

I just talked to our son - *I* can hear the anger and the hurt in his voice over your decision to insert your WHORE into their visitation time.

You are destroying your relationship with him over a goddamn piece of ASS. HE IS WRITING YOU OFF YOU DUMB FUCKER.

I HATE YOU

"None of this is my problem. When I asked you to do me a very similar favor two years ago in the process of getting a job, you ignored me. Guess what? Chirp chirp, mother fucker. That's all you're getting from me. Best of luck trying to marry your snaggletooth whore."

Chirp chirp, mother fucker.

Thank you, in advance, Amazonia, for the day I use that in a post or email to my L.

And now...

You're such a selfish asshole. Still!!! Nothing changed overnight!! For your information, CS doesn't cover everything in the universe!! Do you recognize on any level that you have the majority of the income???

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU????

I know you think I'm sitting over here on my ass watching soap operas all day. In reality I spend 30-35 hours a week on school work. You know, I'm having to go back to school hoping to get a job in my late 40's because my husband decided he didn't want to be married anymore and suddenly I need to support myself!

And when I'm not studying - I'm very busy being a single parent. Parenting is actually more than just cooking dinner, asshat! It's being available for your kids and spending time with them and PUTTING THEIR NEEDS FIRST. I'm sorry if I don't feel the 60 hours a MONTH you spend with the kids actually qualifies you as doing any parenting. You've just added them to your social circle - when it's convenient for you, that is. Remember this summer when you scheduled YOUR activity during your parenting time? And the kids wanted nothing to do with it?

Remember telling our oldest child that you might have to quit that activity because time with the kids is like air - you can't live without it? AND THEN YOU CONTINUED YOUR ACTIVITY AND DIDN'T SEE THE KIDS!!!!!!!

You selfish fucker. You barely see them as it is. You can't prioritize them for 60 damn hours a month? Hell, for 16 of that you're probably sleeping, so that cuts it down to 44 waking hours that you have to pay attention to your kids. You can't give them that much in a month??? The whore can't amuse herself with her own kids for those 44 hours????

I was pretty excited when the kids slept over your place the week before Christmas. I thought maybe you were going to start really engaging with them. Wtf was I thinking.

I hate what you have done to our family. I hate what you are doing to the kids.

You haven't talked to DD in over two weeks. You know how many times I've talked to her??? Me either - it's too many to keep count.

You're an NPD douche canoe.

I talked to your aunt last night. She said I needed to just hand you over to God and let him deal with you, for my own peace of mind. I'm trying.

But I want to scream at you SO badly. I try to think of places I could go to just scream all the things I want to scream at you. I'm not doing it in my car because I love my new car and I'm not putting that negativity in my beautiful space.

I want to shake you and snap you out of your wayward fog so you can SEE the pain you are causing.

Would that work? I don't actually think so. You're pushing full steam ahead without a single thought for the trail of hurt and destruction you are leaving behind you. You don't even realize or care that the trail includes your children. All you care about is getting what you want.

That's all you've ever cared about.

Yes, you disguised yourself as the loving husband and doting father. As long as your manipulations were working, you were ok with that. Even if the manipulation took years of pressuring me and pushing me and forcing my boundaries, as long as you thought it was working, it was ok.

I'm glad my children had the experience of having a really engaged and loving father for many, many years. I'm sad that it was just a part you were playing, and that you don't actually know how to be that person in real life.

Without you, I wouldn't have my three children, who are the three best humans I know. Because of that I will never regret our life together or the fun we had.

I am not going to let you take those memories away from me or bastardize them through your rewrite of marital history. I am not going to let you take those memories away from our children.

You are a pathetic human being. I feel sad for you. I feel angry at the people who abused you when you were little and shaped who you are today.

I'm angry at YOU because you aren't a child anymore, and your adult self refuses to do the work to heal the child.

I'm so sick of your shit right now.

Hey genius - stop emailing me about shit you don't understand. Why the FUCK would the judge make a decision in our case BEFORE he hears our expert's testimony??!

How does that even make sense in your mind???

Christ you are frighteningly stupid sometimes.

Well, that's 1k spent on private health check - at your "insistence".

Do I feel better?

No.

You and I

... we both know what troubles me.

What makes me so ill.

What sickens me to my stomach.

What caused the severe weight loss.

What underlies the unending depression.

.... YOU.

You prostitute-fucking c@nt!!!!!

You know it.

I know it.

I'm sick because you have been fucking dirty, drug-addled, disease ridden, ignorant, foreign, younger-than-your-daughter sprostitute-whores for over 30 years.

Honesty?

Can't quite see why I hate you yet?

Why is it so hard? The loss is hard and the feeling I've lost nothing is hard too. I come home and all there are are reminders. I need to reclaim so many spaces. I really feel like moving house but I love this place so much and I don't want you to take that away from me too so I refuse.

Nekorb, I really sympathise with you & others who have to stay in contact with these specimens.

I'm missing you today and for some reason it's hitting me hard. I keep thinking I'm doing good and then BAM, this feeling hits me.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

I'm having a stressful week. The big bosses were just here from Australia, our Business Unit Manager quit abruptly on 12/31 so my boss is now the interim BUM ( ). This week HE is on Oahu getting the battery changed in his pacemaker so I'm pretty much the BUM for 3 days.

Asshat texts me to thank me for doing the dishes this morning (because he's too fucking lazy to do them himself) and asks how my day was. I told him I got 2 atta boys today from Australia and my boss.

His response: I am so happy for you!!! You are so smart and such a brilliant girl! I'm really glad you are getting accolades you deserve! I'm proud of you!

Oh, thank you!!! You're PROUD of me! Wow. That means so much to the WOMAN WHO IS DIVORCING YOU BECAUSE YOU TREAT HER LIKE SHIT!!! Just this past weekend you spent a half an hour telling me what a piece of shit human being I am. But now, I'm "so smart and such a brilliant girl." Smart enough to stop listening to your fucked up bullshit.

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I'm missing you again today. What is wrong with me??? I made it through the holidays relatively well but now I'm struggling.

Everyone says I have a great sense of humor. I do my job well. I'm smart with money. I'm kind and compassionate. And I'm FUN dammit!

But today (again) I feel so empty and sad. You fucking ruined me.

I hope you and OW are miserable.

[This message edited by DeeplyCrushed at 11:04 AM, January 21st (Thursday)]

Just when you think I can't find out anymore, I figure out how to view your phone text messages to the skank on the computer. Haha!

And to her dumb ass husband who would rather bury his head in the sand, if you won't have blocked MY number, I'd let you know how to do it too.

Way to go asshole. Just keep proving to the kids that you are going to do whatever the fuck you want regardless of how they feel.

Do you think they are so stupid as to forget what you say? Do you think they don't see the lies?

You're an ass.

Can't you live without you're fucking princess for a NIGHT for Christ sake?

SPEND SOME TIME WITH YOUR KIDS.

You don't deserve those kids. And what you don't realize is that you aren't going to have them, because they are just biding their time before they write you off completely.

Wow. Just...wow. You couldn't have screwed up your life any more than if you had purposely set out to do so. When I had to speak with you on the phone the other day and you were whiny, near hysterical, and to the point of tears several times, I just wanted to tell you to suck it up. You should know I'm the last person you should be coming to for sympathy because you won't get any from me. This is the life you made for yourself so you have to deal with the consequences. No home, no vehicle, no money, and I'm certain soon you will not have a job even though you'll soon have another child to pay child support for. As for your job, I imagine the two-hour commute each day will get old and you already told me you were suspended for three days this week anyway. I didn't ask the circumstances because it's not my business and it would have just encouraged you to talk more but I don't imagine you'll be in that job much longer.

Your most recent breakup has been very good for me. I still find myself wondering at times what I could have done differently to keep us as a family. Your most recent breakup and the issues that caused it just reinforce what everyone tells me: it's not me, it's you. You do the same things no matter who you are with. It's you. It took me quite a while to really understand that and I don't think you've figured it out yet. I don't know that you ever will either. It's easier for you to blame everyone else instead of taking any responsibility.

You're apparently moving in with your youngest brother this weekend. I hope it kills you. I hope it hurts to be with him and his family since they have everything we had once upon a time. I'm still not at a point where I can wish good things for you and considering everything you have put DS through, I don't know what I ever will get to that point. I don't miss you anymore and I haven't for a long time. You showed me who you really are and it's certainly not a person worth missing. I don't even miss the life we had anymore either because the good parts are what I created without your help and guess what? DS and I still have that life. We may not live in a house right now but that will change and we still have a great life without the added stress of you every single day.

As far as DS...you have no idea what you are missing. He's such a wonderful, smart, funny, and amazing little boy and none of that is due to you. It's in spite of everything you've put him through. He's so proud of himself to be reading on his own and you wouldn't even know because you don't sit with him or talk to him. You don't know him. And you know what? You always said he looked like you when he was a baby but if he did, he certainly doesn't now. Everyone, even people we meet for just the first time, say how much he looks like me. He has your color of eyes but that's it. I'm grateful I don't see you in his looks or his personality.

[This message edited by lilies21 at 10:30 AM, January 23rd (Saturday)]

Mmm...an "apology" email out of the blue? Glad you got that item on your checklist done. Are you expecting a thank you? Or an I forgive you? Well, there are lots more items on the checklist to apologize for, before these come. Upon reading it, it's evident that you were doing it to make yourself feel better, to lighten some sort of load you were carrying. Still no empathy for me there, at all (re-read it). Or maybe your counselor urged you to do it. Bravo for the courage. But really.....meh.

To Mr. Asshole Other Man:

Can you just back the fuck off? My wife is weak, and yes, we are divorcing, so technically it's no longer an issue of her cheating, so to speak. But she's an emotional mess, I'm better but still working through this madness, and we have a son who needs us. You are not helping... and you know this, you were his fucking school teacher! Please. Back. The. Fuck. Off.