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I'm sure you'll want to push things through the way they are going. If your lawyer can mediate without it being a conflict of interest because he represents you then that's fine.

Your wife doesn't need a lawyer, she can just piggy back off of yours, knowing that lawyer works for you. Thats what my X did. Every time my lawyer sent me some paperwork, I completed it and then sent the draft to my X to proof and then I sent it back to lawyer. It was uncontested so we needed agreement on all the points. Once I started the divorce, the signed papers were filed with the court in a week.

I emailed my attorney this morning to see how to handle things. If I don't hear back this morning I'll give him a call. He's usually really quick to get back to me though.

Told WW this morning when I saw her that I emailed him and was awaiting response. Told her she has seen the plan in the filed papers so she can tell me what she if she thinks anything different and we can go from there.

Told WW this morning when I saw her that I emailed him and was awaiting response. Told her she has seen the plan in the filed papers so she can tell me what she if she thinks anything different and we can go from there.

Perfect.

Just be prepared for her to drag her feet - not give you an answer, not respond to you/attorney, get a bunch of "I don't knows".

I feel like I need to be prepared for anything and everything right now

So WW is here today for her time with the kids. She looked like she had a rough night. I went to play golf with a buddy and she looks like she's been having a rough day as well and she is being way to nice. Is it ok if I do this, is it ok if I do that? Do you need anything?

Hoovering.

Ignore it.

Agreed, it is hoovering and best ignored as too little, too late.

But wouldn't it have been great if she would have asked if you had any objections to her sleeping with POSOM before it happened. She missed it by "that much"...

So WW is here today for her time with the kids. She looked like she had a rough night. I went to play golf with a buddy and she looks like she's been having a rough day as well and she is being way to nice. Is it ok if I do this, is it ok if I do that? Do you need anything

?

Possibilities:

Laying ground for friendship. WWs turn their BHs in to brothers/fathers, They need BH attention to fully engage cheating.

Since she is somewhat interested in R she may be upset for the time being.

To get off her with his I care for you reputation intact POS was trying to push her back to R with minimum effort and now that it failed he may be showing "less care"

let the phrases, "I'm sorry to hear that," "That's nice," and "OK," become your mantra.

For future situations like this you could add, "No thanks, I'm good", to the list of phrases.

I've used that one a lot. Although we needed laundry detergent so I let that one go.

Hey dostl10, just read through the entire post and wanted to say, stay the course brother. She has shown you such disrespect it is sick. She has shown her true colors. God this sucks, and I feel for you, but how could you really trust her ever again. Trust should be the foundation of every relationship, followed by honor, honesty and loyalty, to which she has shown you none. Take care.

She looked like she had a rough night. I went to play golf with a buddy and she looks like she's been having a rough day as well and she is being way to nice.

Are there bus marks on her back from being thrown under one? Else, the others are right.

go well -- IDK

Always believe her actions.

Though I must admit, telling you on somewhat direct wording that she wants to work it out with you and then telling you that she sees him a lot but it's not physical every single time, is one of the more messed up cheaters I've seen.

Gotta love google tools like maps.

The whole thing is FUBAR. She was leaving the house last night and I said when do you want to talk about every, in terms of the divorce. Of course her response was "I don't know." I then decided to call her and tell her I'd like her to give me her thoughts today since she has seen the papers and I would like to get things moving...cue the waterworks

On a related note I sorta feel like a shit because OBS unfriended and blocked me on Facebook. If I did anything to hurt her or make her mad during this I feel bad.

[This message edited by dostl10 at 8:12 AM, June 8th (Thursday)]

If AP has access to OBS FB account, it might not have been her.

Or, the pain is simply too much.

Or AP might have gaslit her so much, he convinced her to do it.

Regardless, not your circus. Work on you.

Strength

On a related note I sorta feel like a shit because OBS unfriended and blocked me on Facebook. If I did anything to hurt her or make her mad during this I feel bad.

Can be a I told you so kind of news. POS may have told OBS I am back (may be still deception). WW waterworks can also be a clue

Does your WW still work with the OM?

Yes, could be your WW's Plan A is not materializing like she hoped and now her Plan B has decided he won't be Plan B. The waterworks are likely just self pity, and you could be facing some foot dragging on her part because she may be left on her own.

However, maybe you can use this to your advantage. What if you are as cordial as possible about the D process and position it as the inevitable result of the current situation. Nevertheless, you can tell her you'd be open to dating her after the D to see if you could start over after a clean break. Get her looking forward to life after the D and you might be able to minimize the foot dragging. Maybe you date her afterwards, maybe you don't, but that's your call.

So again she came today to get the kids. Asked if I heard back from the lawyer yet. I have not. Said she wants to know if she can have more time. She does not want to get divorced. She wants to be with me and our family. An overflowing amount of waterworks.