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wincings_sparkle (original poster member #27129) posted at 4:31 AM on Saturday, May 29th, 2010
Thank you GT. 
GT is close to WT. An explanation is always welcome. 
"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free."
- Catherine Ponder
Me-FWW. BH-wincing_at_light
Crossbow ( member #15224) posted at 8:08 AM on Saturday, May 29th, 2010
Excellent analogy. Thank you for writing and sharing this. Excellent.
DDay 7/4/07 found out about online/sexting EA with OM
DDay 7/25/07 found out about OW
In R
2 DSs, ages 11 & 9
DD, 4
lost_in_toronto ( member #25395) posted at 1:55 AM on Friday, June 25th, 2010
bump. because this is awesome!
Me: BS/48
Him: WS/46
DDay: August 23, 2009
Together 23 years.
Reconciled.
stillinshockx2 ( member #28638) posted at 5:16 PM on Friday, June 25th, 2010
BW here. I would give anything if my WH would use this analogy to get us to R, and during R. But 13 weeks after DDay #2, I don't think he will. I want to send it to him, but it would just be begging and chasing. And he is too angry, too defensive to see that it would apply to the work he has to do. He would turn it around and accuse me of failing to do it.
Me: BS, 54; Him: WS, 56
DDay 1 - EA (denies PA) 6-13-05
DDay 2 - EA (denies PA) 3-30-10
DDay 3 - 8-04-10 WH living w/30 yo OW2; still denies PA despite PI proof and won't admit he lives with OW2
2 children (D27, S24)
M 25 years; together 8
AREYOUKIDDINGME? ( member #27864) posted at 4:46 PM on Monday, June 28th, 2010
BS here. Thank you for writing this. I am going to try and get my WH to read it. Keep bumping for others.
BW-Me 39
D-Day #1 02/09/09 D-Day#2,#3 03/28/09, 03/29/09....Trickled for months. 10 OW
Updated 6/11. Now Married 18 years, 4 boys, 2 daughter-in-laws, 2 princess's born, and 1 cowboy on the way. And the new dog that saved my life many times tha
Lost68 ( member #27515) posted at 3:14 PM on Saturday, July 3rd, 2010
wincings_sparkle (original poster member #27129) posted at 4:45 PM on Sunday, July 18th, 2010
Bump for new members.
"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free."
- Catherine Ponder
Me-FWW. BH-wincing_at_light
tryingtofindaway ( new member #29078) posted at 7:51 AM on Monday, July 19th, 2010
What's crazy is that the little lifeboat is more loaded with stuff than the big ship that got destroyed. I'm thankful for the analogy because it fits excactly what I am feeling since I came clean and sunk that ship.
wincings_sparkle (original poster member #27129) posted at 5:27 PM on Monday, July 19th, 2010
What's crazy is that the little lifeboat is more loaded with stuff than the big ship that got destroyed.
Well, you could look at it as the ship was to big, it created a massive distance because there was to much room for a WS to hide in. When you are in the life boat, it pares it down to the basics. All you have is your spouse, you and your own crap that you have to clean up. All you have to think about is your spouses survival and your own survival. You and all of your crap were on the ship... you just had it all hidden in different compartments and never took the time to throw it overboard. 
Coming clean didn't sink the ship, the Affair did. Coming clean gives you a chance to survive in the life boat.
"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free."
- Catherine Ponder
Me-FWW. BH-wincing_at_light
tryingtofindaway ( new member #29078) posted at 5:53 PM on Monday, July 19th, 2010
Thank you wincings. That makes perfect sense. I may not of noticed how much was on the big ship, but I damn sure knew where everything was hidden and even better where I could hide.
I'm glad it's gone the big ship and all it's hiding places. Even if we make it back to shore so she can walk the opposite way I am thankful all those cubby holes are gone.
HurtinginHell ( new member #29028) posted at 7:16 AM on Wednesday, July 21st, 2010
Printed it off. Excellent post, a very accurate analogy.
wincings_sparkle (original poster member #27129) posted at 6:07 PM on Sunday, August 1st, 2010
"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free."
- Catherine Ponder
Me-FWW. BH-wincing_at_light
wincings_sparkle (original poster member #27129) posted at 5:30 AM on Saturday, September 4th, 2010
"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free."
- Catherine Ponder
Me-FWW. BH-wincing_at_light
HUFI-PUFI ( member #25460) posted at 1:15 PM on Thursday, October 28th, 2010
bumpity bump bump for another classic post. Hard earned wisdom should always be shared.
Don’t listen to your head, it’s easily confused. Don’t listen to your heart, its fickle. Listen to your soul, God doesn't steer you wrong.
Just plain wrong ( new member #26921) posted at 2:40 AM on Saturday, October 30th, 2010
Wow wincings it is amazing how something so simple can seem so difficult until it is put in the proper perspective. That was pretty damn cool.
Just plain wrong ( new member #26921) posted at 2:40 AM on Saturday, October 30th, 2010
[This message edited by Just plain wrong at 7:18 PM, November 3rd (Wednesday)]
tablehasturned ( member #29930) posted at 4:51 AM on Saturday, October 30th, 2010
Wow, thanks again HUFI, another great bump. And wincings....OMG!! I am so glad there are eloquent writers, thinkers and posters in the world like you ... such an inspiration. Thank you.
So sad that I am tangled up in all this seaweed. My one hope now is just to get my BH safely to the shore so he can get out of the boat with his dignity and faith that not everyone will treat him so badly as I have. And maybe on that shore, I can finally rinse off in a nice cool rain shower of the new better me.
Me:fBS now WW(44)Him:fWS now BH(44)
M: 17(tog.25) 2dS(5 & 7)
my DDays:4/19/06, 3/30/09 False R. his DDay:10/25/10 Status: filing for D Hogarth to Iron Giant: "You are what you choose to be. You choose. Choose.
Lost68 ( member #27515) posted at 8:47 PM on Friday, November 12th, 2010
Lost68 ( member #27515) posted at 6:32 PM on Sunday, January 2nd, 2011
KickedintheGut ( member #30086) posted at 7:42 PM on Tuesday, January 4th, 2011
bumping because I just came across it and am hoping my WH will start reading on SI.
Me - BW (38) Him (calcitro) - SAWH (38)
2 Kids Working on R
DDay#1 - 11/9/10 - 2 year EA/PA
DDay #2 - 12/9/10
Disclosure - 4/8/11
Timeline - 5/9/11
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