SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Situational depression, lost 30 lbs., insomnia, panic attacks, self injuring with cutting (something I hadn't struggled with for over a decade), and heart/chest pains.

I was very depressed and weepy. I lost 10 lbs but I had been on a steady diet. The biggest physical effect on me was that I was in less pain with my fibromyalgia and my rheumatoid arthritis than ever before. In fact I haven’t felt that good since. My guess it was the adrenaline.

21 months out and I still do that hiccup/breath intake thing that we do when we cry hard, but I now do it when I haven't been crying. I permanently broke something because I cried so hard at first. Wish the weight loss had been permanent instead

Shock

Severe anguish

40 lb of weight loss in less than two months.

Severe insomnia

Loss of appetite

Anger

Vomiting - anytime I ate, but also just dry heaving from stress

Extreme weight loss - didn't want to eat because it made me throw up

Severe lethargy - pretty much the only time I wasn't laying in bed was to get up to get water or go to the bathroom.

Lack of focus/motivation - did not have any interest in interacting with anyone unless forced to

Insomnia - 1st month maybe 2 hours total with wake ups every half hour or so. 2nd-3rd month, maybe 3-4 hours a night. Now in month 4, after NC for 2 months, I'm finally getting to 6 hours +

Uncontrollable crying - like out in public and out of nowhere it hits you and you can't control it, tears just start running down your face. I got really used to crying in front of strangers.

Extreme depression, not wanting to leave the house, or even my room

Also, the feeling of not ever being able to get a full, deep breath. This might have something to do with what GrayShades is saying, but for mine it's not the hiccup thing. It's just when I go to take a deep breath I feel like I can't get as much air in as I would like. I'm 4 months out and that still happens to me, even now just sitting here when I am not emotional at all.

I've been experiencing:

Rapid and irrational mood swings

Palpitations

Severe depression (today I actually got out of bed & the house for a few hours of my own volition!)

Suicidal thoughts

Insomnia

No appetite followed by proverbially raping the food on my plate 2 or 3 days later

Weird sexual performance. Weird in the sense that one night I'll be way too abrupt (never had that issue prior to the A), next night go for over 1.5 hour straight without completion, next night apparently discover the JOYS of ED.

Random crying

Nervous tic in left eye-lid

Withdrawn from Social Media

Picking at facial hair unconsciously...

AFFAIRS SHOULD HAVE WARNING LABELS ATTACHED :(

(Edited for typo)

[This message edited by SaddestDad at 11:12 PM, February 25th (Monday)]

@Tushnurse, could you please elaborate on the later-experienced autoimmune?

Thanks for starting this thread Dorothy123

You're welcomed . Also, thank you too.

But yeah, what Dorothy123 said

*wink*

Shame

Humiliation

Emasculation

Sexual performance problems

Nausea

Insomnia

Inability to concentrate/focus

.

.

[This message edited by Dorothy123 at 7:24 PM, February 26th (Tuesday)]

Numb, flat, dreamlike state

palpitations

difficulty breathing

overeating (didn't even lose weight, ugh)

difficulty concentration

hyper vigilance

hyper sensitive

hyper sexual

inablity to cry

irritablity

paranoid

-Insomnia. Lucky if I got 6 hours in the first 3 months

-No appetite. When I did hunger, I had no motivation to cook.

-No sense of thirst, forced myself to have water and coffee

-It was like I was living in an alternate reality- nothing felt real

-Crying all the time- first tears of sadness then tears of rage

-Desired sex constantly, but only on my terms, even though I was disgusted by X. His advances turned me off.

-Quick to anger

-Weight loss

-No trust of X- always checking to confirm he was telling truth of whereabouts

-Hyper vigilant

-Sleuthing for any information

-Afraid- I was physically afraid for my and DS safety towards the end. That’s the point I knew it was time to go.

Edited to add: unable to focus. Had to make lists to remember work tasks, errands and chores.

[This message edited by CurseBreaker at 10:49 PM, February 26th (Tuesday)]

Loss of appetite.

Can't sleep more than a couple of hours at a time.

Yo-yo emotions, from crying to numb to feeling like my skin was going to itch off my body

Am I the only one who actually gained weight after? I was in the best shape of my life on D-day. Now I’m 40 pounds heavier.

I completely lost the desire to exercise, and didn’t care what I ate anymore. Just started sitting around and stuffing my face.

I’ve only now even remotely gained the desire to correct it. Just straight up didn’t care for a few years.

Saddest Dad - I was in a prolonged fight/flight response. Like for at least 6 mos. d/t knowing something was going on prior to dday and it took months to figure out.

The extreme stress turned on my autoimmune switches and made my inflammatory arthritis much worse. More pain, joint changes, etc. Went from just needing a daily NSAID to needing that, Tramadol, and immunosuppressive therapy to stop the joint damage. My lab markers for Inflammation (Sed Rate, and C-Reactive protein) went from high normal to through the roof in the 6 months post dday.

Many of us who had an underlying autoimmune issue be it arthritis, Crohn's, MS etc have had significant issues w/ their disease post Dday.

I had chest pains that landed me in the ER due to stress and anxiety. I became very forgetful and scattered, moreso than I already am. I also became very easily startled, as if I am constantly on edge.

Also, I contracted an STD that physically affected me as well.

I did lose weight as well, but I had been already trying to lose weight, so that was a pleasant side effect. However I wouldn't recommend this as a way to lose weight.

Thank you to everyone that posted in this thread.

I personally think that many of the newly betrayed are in total shock of how much pain infidelity brought them.

Personally, I thought I was going crazy.

I had/have many of the same symptoms as previously stated. There is one that I have not seen mentioned yet and it wasn't one that I have seen before. It may/may not be completely related but the sudden onset and extreme in the symptoms just seems so coincidental.

Within a week of dday, I began having....

heart palpitations

anxiety

panic attacks in the middle of the night

night sweats

vertigo

vomiting spontaneously just by turning my head

didn't like anyone

couldn't stand to be in a room with another person

little things extremely agitated me

hot flashes

feeling of impending doom

easily irritated(to the extreme)

forgetfulness/extremely poor memory

crying spells

brain very foggy(not remembering peoples names)

no patience with anyone or anything

lack of focus and concentration

achy joints

depression

dry skin/very itchy

extreme fatigue

very abnormal bleeding

my family thought I was on drugs (I've never!)

I would forget to send my kids to school

Lots of these sound very familiar to what you guys describe and as I was reading here shortly after dday, I thought this was all part of the cycle that I would go through.

Turns out, I went through menopause. Essentially overnight. All lab work pointed in that direction. My OB/GYN doc said he had never seen someone go from normal one day to full on menopause the next, but my labs proved otherwise. I had just been in his office for a routine yearly checkup two weeks prior.

It never even occurred to me that I was going through menopause, I was 44, a little early for that to be happening just yet. One of my close friends pointed out all the symptoms to me and said that I should see a doc. She was right.

Now divorced. Over two years later, still menopausal and have to take meds to keep my levels normal and me feel normal.

Was it dday? I don't know for sure, but my doc and I both believe that it was related to the stress and trauma from dday.

Ok I'll add mine to the list

Intitially- first month

Constant vomitting and dry wretching

Insomnia, awake all night

Lack of appetite

Drinking wine a bottle a night

Ruminations constantly

Shaking and anxiety

Became reclusive

Nausea

Feelings of hopelessness

Self blame

Total desperation

Anger, rage and a desire for vengeance

Lashing out at people, trusting no one

A physical pain in my gut

Confusion, feeling lost, like my world just ended

Total hatred towards him, her and everyone who condoned their relationship

After 6 months

Bravado

Joining dating sites

Buying make up

feeling better ie not being sick

Insomnia continues

Anger kicking in

Not thinking of him so often

The feeling of making progress

I filed for divorce

Feeling a little hope for the future

Met a guy who ghosted me

Started falling back down

12 months in

Very depressed

Thinking of ex constantly

Going up to 3 days without sleep

Over eating, then not eating

Overwhelming feeling of worthlessness

lack of hope

Not wanting to live

Plagued by ruminations 24/7 and dreams where I think he is in bed next to me.

became more reclusive

Started drinking a bottle of wine every night again

Torn apart with feelings of injustice, betrayal abandonment

Feel like discarded trash

Feel like she took away my life and made it hers

Bitter resentment

Stopped having any faith in God

begging for Karma, for some sense of justice

Complete self loathing and defeat

deep sadness

denial

hysterical bonding

nightly drinking to drown my depression

mental confusion