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Did WS's consider this?

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brokenyrs ( member #46554) posted at 3:03 PM on Thursday, May 16th, 2019

When I asked WH lied and said he had used condoms, to find out from one of the OW he didn't. WH then later told me he used condoms once. Which if he did for that ONS it is kind of doesn't matter since there was so many women and I did end up getting HPV that I had to have a partial hysterectomy for.

I don't think he really cared or worried about catching something because he only cared about what felt good for him.

Me:BW
Him: WH
Too many Ddays to count and even more women

posts: 566   ·   registered: Jan. 28th, 2015   ·   location: Canada
id 8379035
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Adaira ( member #62905) posted at 3:03 PM on Thursday, May 16th, 2019

Apparently they used condoms “because I didn’t want to get her pregnant!” but no protection for any of the other things they did together. The idiot didn’t even realize you could get an infection from unprotected oral sex.

I honestly consider it some kind of miracle that my STI panel came back clean, considering his AP was still going on Tinder hook ups (“But she wasn’t sleeping with them!” Yeah right... Idiot).

Former BW. Happily divorced.

posts: 324   ·   registered: Mar. 2nd, 2018
id 8379037
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Chaos ( member #61031) posted at 3:18 PM on Thursday, May 16th, 2019

I'm saddened but not surprised by all these responses.

WH and AP not only engaged in unprotected sex but their BC was him pulling out. Are you fu*king kidding me.

BS-me/WH-4.5yrLTA Married 2+ decades-2 adult children. Multiple DDays w/same LAP until I told OBS 2018- Cease & Desist sent spring 2021 "Hello–My name is Chaos–You f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die!"

posts: 4030   ·   registered: Oct. 13th, 2017   ·   location: East coast
id 8379045
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MamaDragon ( member #63791) posted at 3:19 PM on Thursday, May 16th, 2019

Mine swears it was not a PA (I don't believe him, FYI)

I still made him get tested when I went, just because.

I'm sure they didn't use anything - why would they? He was snipped and she was on BC. Why would they know each other's sexual history if they didn't have sex????

BS - 40 something at A time, over 50 now
WS - him, younger than me
Reconciled

posts: 1226   ·   registered: May. 16th, 2018   ·   location: Georgia
id 8379046
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Thissucks5678 ( member #54019) posted at 3:29 PM on Thursday, May 16th, 2019

This is so scary to think about. My oldest daughter is in high school and a girl she knows likely has herpes! She has all of the symptoms. Another guy is rumored to have a serious std and has been sleeping around. They are in HIGH SCHOOL! It’s so scary.

DDay: 6/2016

“Every test in our life makes us Bitter or Better. Every problem comes to Break Us or Make Us. The choice is ours whether to be Victim or Victor.” - unknown

posts: 1793   ·   registered: Jul. 7th, 2016
id 8379052
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SisterMilkshake ( member #30024) posted at 4:09 PM on Thursday, May 16th, 2019

My FWH's OW told my FWH It was unable to conceive. So why the fuck would he wear condom? Didn't even think about STD's and protecting me, at the very least, from STD's. Selfish. Grrrrr!!!! This still makes me angry.

BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson

posts: 15429   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2010   ·   location: The Great White North USA
id 8379075
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deephurt ( member #48243) posted at 4:17 PM on Thursday, May 16th, 2019

I asked my wh this and he said they always used protection. I told him he can get an std even if using a condom. He looked at me with a blank stare. I said how do you know you didn’t get something and his answer was “I don’t feel anything”

Ummmm. Wtf?

They don’t think last getting the o-if they even get that. All they think about is themselves and ego kibbles. No thought to anyone else.

me-BW
him-WH


so far successfully in R

posts: 3775   ·   registered: Jun. 13th, 2015   ·   location: Canada
id 8379079
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cocoplus5nuts ( member #45796) posted at 4:44 PM on Thursday, May 16th, 2019

I don't understand why people are so stupid to assume that, if you are married, you are clean. What about previous sexual partners? What about the OBS and their previous sexual partners? WTF?!

Also, grown adults still don't know you can get STIs from oral? What fucking planet are the living on?

Me(BW): 1970
WH(caveman): 1970
Married June, 2000
DDay#1 June 8, 2014 EA
DDay#2 12/05/14 confessed to sex before polygraph
Status: just living my life

posts: 6900   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2014   ·   location: Virginia
id 8379093
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BeingheldbyJesus ( member #52007) posted at 7:27 PM on Thursday, May 16th, 2019

My WH did not use anything. He trusted her. She told him that she had been fixed. I told him that she had lied about other things to him so she could have lied about that and ended up pregnant. How would he explain that to his children? I just cannot believe I married such an idiot. I'm so sick of it al.

Me:50 WH:51
Married since Dec. 1990/together 35 years/Junior high sweethearts DS24,DD21,DD16
DD1: EA? 7/10/15 Ended then. Found out by emails it was actually PA 11/13/15

posts: 211   ·   registered: Feb. 26th, 2016
id 8379185
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 Beachwalker (original poster member #70472) posted at 7:41 PM on Friday, May 17th, 2019

Thank you all for sharing with us your stories. This helps me understand a little better what my WW was (not) thinking when she acted out.

After reading your posts, I remember her saying that she didn’t like condoms because they felt “plasticy”, so we didn’t use them when we were together. That makes me 100% positive no protection was used with her boyfriends. She did end up bringing an STI home to me, but I never got it and it seems her body finally fought it off.

I can’t help but echo what has been said here, “What were they thinking??!! Oh, that’s right. They were only thinking of themselves and what felt good at that moment.” Total disregard for the health and safety of their spouse, and total selfishness on their part.

posts: 363   ·   registered: May. 4th, 2019   ·   location: US
id 8379806
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Evertrying ( member #60644) posted at 8:19 PM on Friday, May 17th, 2019

After my H talked at nauseum with his AP about finally deciding to have sex, (it all had to be planned out because they screwed at her house and they had to be sure her H wouldn't come home,,,, )

He bought a condom for the first time. I think he was more worried about getting her pregnant (though she was in her late 40's and already had two grown kids) than he was about STD's. Besides, this wonderful person he was about to FUCK would never have a STD,,,,(enter sarcasm)

She eventually told my H (and I almost died laughing when he told me this) that her husband that she cut off sexually 15 YEARS ago forced himself on her so she got an IUD to keep from ever getting pregnant if he tried it again. PULEEZE! My idiot H bought the bullshit story.

On Dday I asked him how he could risk our health and he said "Well my dick hasn't fallen off so I don't think she was dirty". Oh the things they say when their heads are in their butts,,,

BS - 55 on dday
WH - 48 on dday
Dday: 9/1/17
Status: Reconciled

posts: 1253   ·   registered: Sep. 16th, 2017
id 8379826
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DomesticTourist ( member #67648) posted at 8:54 PM on Friday, May 17th, 2019

My WW's AP was my best friend. We knew some of the skanky bitches he had been with before my WW decided to bareback him a dozen or more times.

Nope, she wasn't the least bit concerned about my health.

I can't decide which is more disgusting and infuriating to me: the period of time during her affair that she had sex with me (about a year and a half of it) or the period of time during her affair that she cut me off altogether (about 8 months).

Emotions are like children: you can’t put them in the trunk, but you can’t let them drive, either.

posts: 187   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2018
id 8379845
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Cheatee ( member #59284) posted at 9:29 PM on Friday, May 17th, 2019

As part of her gaslighting, she angrily accused me of having an STD when I had weird complications from a highly invasive Prostate Cancer biopsy.

Classy, eh?

posts: 870   ·   registered: Jun. 20th, 2017   ·   location: Planet Earth, usually
id 8379854
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doesitgetbetter ( member #18429) posted at 9:38 PM on Friday, May 17th, 2019

Not only did WS not consider this during his first round of affairs, but he gave me an STD the first time around, and STILL had unprotected sex during the second round of cheating. Moron!

DDay - Dec '07
Me - BS
Him - WS
Us - working on R - again
May 18, 2010 - I forgave him fully!
D-day 2 July 4, 2015, turns out he is a SAWH, status, working harder than before
May 22, 2019 -slip/relapse. He forgot he has to work forever

posts: 4527   ·   registered: Feb. 29th, 2008
id 8379857
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allusions ( member #25376) posted at 9:46 PM on Saturday, May 18th, 2019

WH: "She said she can't have children!"

Me: "What does that mean?"

WH: "She's had sex lots of times with people and never got pregnant, so she says she can't get pregnant!"

Me: "Uh huh. And you actually believe that's true? Is that what she's been told by a doctor?"

WH: "I don't know, that's just what she told me."

Me: "What about STDs?"

WH: "She says she's clean."

Guess who wound up with an STD? Me.

You can apologize over and over, but if your actions don't change, your words become meaningless.

Behind every crazy bitch is a sweet girl who just got tired of being lied to.

I've found the key to happiness: Stay away from assholes.

posts: 1979   ·   registered: Sep. 1st, 2009   ·   location: California Central Coast
id 8380150
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