SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Being honest with myself shows that before I experienced intimate betrayal I used to wonder what the BS did to drive their mate to that. It wasn't unkindness that made me feel this way, it was inexperience and ignorance.

To this idea I say:

If someone doesn't get it, they probably never will until it strikes them. I doubt I would have ever understood the reality of a BS unless it happened to me. It didn't make me a bad person back then and it doesn't necessarily make those who view it the same way bad. But damn was I ignorant and so are they.

I’ll answer with how my in-laws viewed my husbands cheating on me. And I’ll include my family’s views, that is my mum and my adult children who are themselves parents.

So when I told my mum in-law that I threw her cheater son out of our home, she said that she will support her cheater son because he’s her son. She was devastated though at how her good son did this. Without words I got the distinct impression she thought it was much my fault. His sisters supported their brother, and the blame for his cheating was on me.

Today after two years of reconciliation, I think they all understand that his cheating choice was on him. But they still kinda blame me. But my mum in law is worried that now, I will leave her son should he cross critical boundaries. Which is true.

My mum placed the blame on his shoulders. Her view was, if he did not want to be in a marriage with me, all he had to do was tell me. I totally agree with her.

My adult children called him names, and tried to understand why he cheated instead of separating or divorcing. They placed the blame of our marriage breakdown equally on me and their father. And in our situation, they were correct.

So yes, the stigma is there and it seems that for my situation, the in-laws blamed me, my mum blamed him, and my children blamed both of us.

Oh yes. People always want to know "why". I say no one forced her. I do admit to issues in the marriage which is true.

Tbh, fuck them and the stigma. I dont really care. Life is hard enough.

Oh yes. People always want to know "why". I say no one forced her. I do admit to issues in the marriage which is true.

Tbh, fuck them and the stigma. I dont really care. Life is hard enough.

I did have people ask me if her affair was a response to me having an affair. When I told them I never had an affair, I got the, "Well, you must've done somethig."