SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Don't forget to get tested for STDs/STIs.

Tell her to show her remorse by signing off on an fair and amicable divorce that is financially favorable to you. If she won't do that, you'll know she isn't trying to save the marriage for the right reasons, she just wants her safety net and wallet to remain available.

She is just about the best example of a disrespectful and unremorseful wayward that is simply sorry she got caught that I have ever seen. She has put forth extraordinary effort to deceive and hurt you and only cares now because she never expected you to actually stand up for yourself.

They had set up a shared document that they could communicate with. Apparently he set up something where the folder name would change automatically. Anyways, the folder was clean, but I was able do find a series of deleted files. It was as bit fragments and looked like computer code, but there were sentences and paragraphs embedded in it.

Not that it matters at this point but it sounds like a word document. Did you try changing the file type and fed it into a program that opens word formats?

Congrats on getting your closure as painful as it is. Make sure the OBS knows, preferably after the D is final to avoid complications. Regardless of what you think know now, there's a reason she clung to your marriage. You were their beard for someone. If not for OBS maybe for the workplace.

I moved my post to just found out since it felt more appropriate there.

https://www.survivinginfidelity.com/topics/654264/fooled-again/

Your WS sounds like mine, not remorseful, hiding / deleting things then making sure they stay buried.

I know from experience that does not give you much of a Chance at R, as does not going NC.

However, things are generally never truly deleted these days. Have you tried document recovery software, or try invasive investigation software on her computer.. How I found my wifes affair.. Fully scanned her old iPhone.. It had all the records of her conversations even deleted ones. Then I ran the same software on her computer and found more evidence.

Play it smart..STOP trying to get her to see sense.. Just plan on D which only stops when she starts acting right.. Not just saying the right thingsSpeak to your lawyer about filing.. Start getting your ducks in a row.. And to stop D she needs proper confirmed NC, full transparency of ALL electronic devices, if she is in contact via work.. She needs a new job..a time line.. Backed up by a poly.. And speak to your lawyer about assigning property into your name and obtaining a post nup that can be enforced in your state.

You have my prayers and my sympathies.. I hope she gets her head out of her arse fast enough.. If she doesn't.. Then best get out now than 2-5 years down the road.

"Please listen to this. My WW has been the perfect Stepford wife since about a year after D-DAY (Funny side note: many here on SI tagged my WW's behaviors as "Stepford wife" and this week I was talking to a friend of mine and he immediately described my WW as "Stepford wife" without any prompting).

This shit does not go away."

-Thumos

I'm going to guess that the missing pieces are the trust, compassion and companionship which are impossible for an unrepentant spouse to create without the genuine and consistent effort. It's as though she says to herself, "this is adequate enough to placate him."

What your W is doing is nothing more than what could be purchased from some kind of commercial enterprise/worker and thus lacks the substance needed for a real connection. Quite frankly it's less expensive to pay for said services on a one-by-one basis than it is to be married and this be the "arrangement".

The only fix is the one she refuses to move towards; complete transparency.

Just my anecdotal .02.