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NY girl,

I know a family that this happened to many years ago in my community, I know them pretty well. When it blew up the son moved away and didn't speak to the father for about 20 years. He did return eventually and started a new relationship with his father. The skank he was married to that was banging her father in law is actually now married to the OM my wife was messing with, small world right.

I have a grown son who is married to an absolutely beautiful girl. I couldn't even imagine allowing something like this to happen. If not for my own moral beliefs, or my marriage vows or any sense of right or wrong, how in the world could I do that to my own son.

My point is that there is no excuse or reasoning to make that oaky. You are doing the right thing. And maybe with time your son and his father may heal.

Thank you everyone for the thoughts and words of encouragement. I've been busy with family visiting for the holiday and preparing for Thanksgiving tomorrow.

I've mostly put this out of my mind for the time being. My son's off from work this week too and spending a lot of time helping me around the house and catching up with our family. He'll be spending a lot of the next few days with his younger cousins who idolize him!

Oh I'm so glad you have family around you and are celebrating Thanksgiving surrounded by people who love you.

You're truly an inspiration.

May you and your son find love and peace this Thanksgiving. You have each other to be thankful for and that's what matters. Best wishes to you and your family.

Thank you MalibuBayBreeze. All I can do is enjoy and focus on the positive things and people in my life; dwelling on the mess they created isn't going to accomplish anything.

There is nothing anyone can say to make this better for you but if there was you'd be hearing it from many.

I'm glad you and your son are together at this time. You'll need each other.

Best wishes to you both.

Thank you Marc878; we're both grateful that we're surrounded by lots of supportive family and friends for the holiday.

may you and your son have a great Thanksgiving together. Both of you deserve the best and I am praying and thinking about both of you tomorrow during this holiday season Always in my prayers

Hope you and your son have a nice Thanksgiving with your family....

Glad you are surrounded by family. Wishing you and your son all the best. May you both find healing and peace. You are an amazingly strong woman.

I need a break from my family; I feigned a headache just to get a few minutes to myself. I know they mean well, but the looks of worry and hesitation are aggravating me now. I can't take the pity.

NYGirl - OMG, I hear you. I brought my lap top feigning having to do some work (since my colleagues in Europe are still working today) just so I can sneak away and get some peace. This is very unlike me but I knew I would need a break - and hence why I am here now. :)

Take the time you need and know everyone just wants the best for you because they love you and care. It's hard to know what to do or say under the circumstances.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Thanks TurnOtherCheek, I'm glad someone understands! I know they mean well, but it's still frustrating. I just want everyone to act normally around me.

Tomorrow will be better, I'm going shopping with several female relatives...these ladies will be knocking people over in Macy's and forget to worry about me LOL

Well, that is a good way to maybe get out some of your own aggression! A little harmless pushing and shoving never hurt anyone. In fact, I think it's quite expected tomorrow.

Enjoy it!

Tomorrow will be better, I'm going shopping with several female relatives...these ladies will be knocking people over in Macy's and forget to worry about me LOL

Cool. You could forearm anyone that gets in your way. Work off any anger and blame it on bad shoppers!

Your humor at this time is a good thing.

Best wishes to you and your son

NYGirl you truly inspire me with your strength and will to move forward! It has helped me see some things differently. Thank you for being brave and posting your story. We came to my parents for Thanksgiving and I was worried about How everyone would behave but it was ok. Going to try and move forward with more grace like I see you doing. Hugs to you and your son.

Have a wonderful day shopping today. And a big glass of wine at the end!

He texted me last night to wish us a Happy Thanksgiving. I didn't reply, but it still managed to ruin the night and it was on my mind today. I didn't tell anyone because I didn't want to ruin the shopping trip.

ASSWIPE!!!!!!

It's not enough that he has to blow up his family's world, but all these pathetic 'attempts' to somehow not look like a total jerkwad - what a great guy he must be, after all he wished you happy Thanksgiving didn't he - just show how fucking CLUELESS and USELESS he is.

You are carrying a lot of this burden yourself NYgirl68. Be easy on yourself. Others will adjust around you.

Sending peace and more strength your way. Hang in there, you are doing what it takes to get through this shitstorm.

((((NYgirl68))))

Please block him. Avoid his pathetic attempts at making "nice". There is nothing he can say that has any value. Worthless words you don't need to deal with.

NYGirl,

Hope your attorney manages to make everyday Black Friday for him. His Black Friday "deals" will be the castoff clothes in the dumpsters behind Goodwill and the Salvation Army...stuff that they would not put on their racks.

This from DMW:

You are carrying a lot of this burden yourself NYgirl68. Be easy on yourself. Others will adjust around you.

You are such a strong caregiver, putting others before your self. Hope you find the time and place for self care. The concern your friends and family show for you are them reflecting back to you what you have done for them in the past. Shelter in their safety.