SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Double post

[This message edited by badmemory at 2:21 PM, January 11th (Thursday)]

Badmemory is correct. Hopefully she will text you as this would be an opportunity to provide evidence to the military investigators that they are still in contact. If she confronts you, it most likely means that the OM told her about it, right?

Glad you are doing better. Enjoy the time with your daughter.

Hopefully she will text you as this would be an opportunity to provide evidence to the military investigators that they are still in contact. If she confronts you, it most likely means that the OM told her about it, right?

What are the chances that she is smart enough not to do that? I would say slim.

I just got an email from the military that they have given him a direct order to end the relationship, and asking me to send them evidence if there is any additional contact from this point forward...

Somebody should post this to GW's thread.

Casey, you probably don't know him, but his WW was also having A with a man from a military. He claimed that he contacted his superiors, etc. which later was proved to be a lie. SI spies found him on another forum telling that he didn't, because his WW told him that there will be no chance of R if he does that. He's doing pick-me dance big time, living in limbo hell. In short, a thread that should be kept pinned as a perfect example "how not to handle affairs".

The lessons here:

1. exposing the A is a best practice to end the A

2. exposing to the employer is sometimes in the best interest of the betrayed

3. some military commands do care about adultery and take steps to end it.

an email from the military that they have given him a direct order to end the relationship

I see that as a big win for your daughter. OM can't play daddy to her in the near future.

IMO I'd dig a little and if it's still going on blow it up.

Revenge or consequences always gave me a bit of closure.

you havent posted in a while casey.How are things going. Are you doing well.

you havent posted in a while casey.How are things going. Are you doing well.

Thanks for checking in. I am doing well. Surprisingly, nothing much has changed, at least to my knowledge. I never heard from WW about me reporting the AP to the military. I did call her the other day though to talk about some financial matters with the D paperwork, and she broke down crying and hung up, them called me back 10 minutes later after composing herself. Maybe it's guilt, maybe he did end things with her and she is too embarassed to say anything, maybe she is still confused...who knows... I .

[This message edited by CaseyA at 1:50 PM, January 26th (Friday)]

did notice a charge yesterday for $20 at the post office from her account, which is most likely her sending him something, so I suspect the relationship is continuing. But I have no first hand evidence, and if they are that persistent in staying together, maybe I should just let it be. I can move on, and won't have to worry about complications with the OM still being in the picture and seeking vengeance on me for destroying his career. For my daughter's sake, I am starting to think taking the high road is the better option

Hi, Casey, so glad you checked in.

I think you are correct, push forward and be the best dad you can be for your daughter. Your wife is no longer your problem.

You will feel better with time and support from your family and friends.

Casey, concentrate all of your love, energy and attention on your daughter. Make all the other stuff with the OM and her just static, background noise. Eventually you'll tune it out.

Great to hear that your progress forward is bringing you out of infidelity, and into a better, and improving life.

I imagine that you are now able to occasionally smile.

The world is still 'your oyster'.

When your ready, start attacking life again with that enthusiasm that you have in abundance.

And where you can, help others, so that you get to drive the 'karma bus' and not be run over by it, like what appears to be happening to your WW.

double post

[This message edited by paboy at 2:26 AM, January 27th (Saturday)]

Concentrate now on doing what is best for you and your daughter. You have done due diligence with disrupting the affair and consequences for both ww and I’m.

This stuff can eat you alive,

Right now getting into ic. Getting as much FaceTime with Dd is what is important.

Casey, how are you? Progress still happening?

Any updates?

sorry double post.

[This message edited by paboy at 3:54 AM, February 22nd (Thursday)]

Hi Friends,

It has been a long time since my last post! Hope everyone is doing well. The advice I received on SI when I first discovered A has been a great source of strength for me over the past several months. Here is a quick recap of 2018 so far:

- Wife has continued in her affair fog, which has probably become even deeper and more entrenched as time has gone on. She is still with the AP, and is planning a life with him when he returns from his military deployment in September. She told me they are planning to get married (remember, she has spent a grant total of two days with this man, unless it started earlier than I think).

- I have been doing well, focusing on me and my daughter, and enjoying my time being single. I have more time now to do things I enjoy, and I am in no rush to find my next relationship.

- Wife's parents have continued to bankroll her decisions. They have paid her rent every month, and also deposit about $1,000 extra to her account to pay for her living expenses. I am still on her bank account, so I can see her activity (although I try not to check on it too often).

- I have not had any further contact with the military, because I think the costs of turning him in outweigh the benefits at this point. But I have all the hard evidence I need if I still do decide to go that route.

My focus has been solely on my daughter, and how to best protect her through this. Which brings me to the latest developments...

Wife informed me last week that she will be moving her and my daughter into the AP's house in a few weeks. It will be just the two of them for a few months, but when AP returns from overseas in September, he will move into the house, along with his three kids 50% of the time. She made this decision unilaterally, without consulting me at all. I am strongly opposed to this and have voiced my opinion strongly, but she seems to have her mind made up.

Therefore, I am in contact with attorneys to pursue a court order prohibiting my daughter from cohabiting with AP for a period of 6 months after she has met him. It is outrageous that my wife thinks it is acceptable to have a stranger move in to the house with my daughter, along with three strange kids. My daughter has never met any of them (other than through Skype), so essentially the day she meets them is the day they will be moving in with her. Talk about a traumatic and unstable environment! I am confident I will be able to put a stop to it and get the court order, but it is unfortunately going to be very expensive, and D is going to be significantly delayed.

Interested to hear any insights into the best course of action for me, and if anyone has any ideas how I could protect my daughter from wife's insanity without the expensive legal battle. Ultimately, money is no object when it comes to protecting my daughter, but if I can achieve the same outcome without spending thousands of dollars, that would of course be preferred. Thanks in advance to everyone, and sorry I fell off the grid for a while there!

Thanks for update, CaseyA! It is good that you are feeling better and even starting to enjoy your life and I hope that you find a way to at least postpone your daughter's exposure to AP (and I want to clarify one point - by "moving your daughter" you mean 50%?)

However, it is unrealistic to expect that your DD will never meet/live with AP. So it worth considering if prolonged legal battle is worth the effort. Maybe it would be possible to make some kind of deal with STBXWW to gradually introduce your DD to AP and his kids (not 6months, but 3 or 2 instead)? You should read a thread by RockStarDad, his kids were introduced to AP right away, maybe some advice on that thread applies to your situation too?