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ZenMumWalking ( member #25341) posted at 9:57 PM on Wednesday, October 26th, 2011
Me (BS), Him (WH): late-50's
3 DS: 26, 25, 22
M: 30+ (19 1/2 at Dday)
Dday: Dec 2008
Wanted R, not gonna happen (in permanent S)
Used to be DeadMumWalking, doing better now
Take2 ( member #23890) posted at 1:09 PM on Monday, October 31st, 2011
"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?
bufffalo ( member #21854) posted at 8:09 AM on Tuesday, November 1st, 2011
lordhasaplan? ( member #30079) posted at 2:36 PM on Saturday, November 5th, 2011
BS- Me (45)D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10). Currently in R.Don't carry others crap. It's your job to fix yourself, not your spouse.
bufffalo ( member #21854) posted at 3:48 PM on Friday, November 11th, 2011
MrsConsistency ( member #32065) posted at 12:50 AM on Sunday, November 13th, 2011
I don't think the 180 is for everyone. It's for people who care more about themselves than their M, those willing to walk away at that point if they don't get "the result".
If you're the overinvested partner then you won't be willing to leave. If you have a "higher agenda" to stay and fight to keep OW out of the kids lives then you won't risk detachment being his "proof you're over".
Detatchment and moving on and not iniating are all self fulfilling if the timing is wrong.
Me - BW
Him - WH
HER - Married OW who will never go away
DDay #1 2/15/11
DDay #2 5/10/11
WH on the fence until 7/1/11
Trying to stay together bearably
I will never be the same (and that's a bad thing)
little turtle ( member #15584) posted at 2:39 PM on Wednesday, November 16th, 2011
If you're not looking out for yourself, then who is?
Failure is success if we learn from it.
HardenMyHeart ( member #15902) posted at 6:35 AM on Tuesday, November 22nd, 2011
Me: BH, Her: WW, Married 40 years, Reconciled
unarmbears ( member #7480) posted at 2:37 AM on Friday, November 25th, 2011
FBS-Me, 67
FWH-Him, 62
2 Sons 33 and 38
2 Daughters 36 & 31 And 5 darling grandchildren!
"Love is an impulsive act, it's free. It's the story we tell about it afterward that's our poverty." Byron Katie
Lost and Betraye ( member #33988) posted at 4:48 PM on Wednesday, November 30th, 2011
Me=BS 50; Him=WS 46; Dday 11/10/11
Married 13 years; together 20
Kids: DD11;(2) grown boys/men from my previous marriage to a WS
Status: Divorcing
"The past is a guidepost, not a hitching post" L Thomas Holdcroft
bufffalo ( member #21854) posted at 7:01 AM on Tuesday, December 6th, 2011
emptyheart ( member #18873) posted at 4:28 PM on Sunday, December 11th, 2011
Me - BW, Him - WH
2 great kids that are my reason for living.
1st D-Day - March 28, 2008
False R for a year
2nd D-Day - April 11, 2009
sudra ( member #30143) posted at 4:06 AM on Monday, December 12th, 2011
Me (BW) (5\64), Him(SAWH) (68)Married 31 years, 1 son (28), 1 stepdaughter (36) DDay #1 January 2004DDay #2 7-27-2010 7 month EA/PA (became "engaged" to OW before he told me he wanted a divorce)Working on R
bufffalo ( member #21854) posted at 6:14 AM on Friday, December 16th, 2011
unarmbears ( member #7480) posted at 4:04 AM on Sunday, December 18th, 2011
FBS-Me, 67
FWH-Him, 62
2 Sons 33 and 38
2 Daughters 36 & 31 And 5 darling grandchildren!
"Love is an impulsive act, it's free. It's the story we tell about it afterward that's our poverty." Byron Katie
Lost and Betraye ( member #33988) posted at 4:43 AM on Tuesday, December 20th, 2011
Me=BS 50; Him=WS 46; Dday 11/10/11
Married 13 years; together 20
Kids: DD11;(2) grown boys/men from my previous marriage to a WS
Status: Divorcing
"The past is a guidepost, not a hitching post" L Thomas Holdcroft
bufffalo ( member #21854) posted at 7:03 AM on Friday, December 23rd, 2011
cass ( member #24261) posted at 6:19 PM on Wednesday, December 28th, 2011
DDay - April 2008
Me - 58 and doing great, alone.
Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket!
unarmbears ( member #7480) posted at 1:04 AM on Sunday, January 1st, 2012
bump
Happy New Year
FBS-Me, 67
FWH-Him, 62
2 Sons 33 and 38
2 Daughters 36 & 31 And 5 darling grandchildren!
"Love is an impulsive act, it's free. It's the story we tell about it afterward that's our poverty." Byron Katie
Fighting2Survive ( member #28410) posted at 5:12 AM on Wednesday, January 4th, 2012
Me: BW, 40.......Him: FWH, 40
D-day: 3-22-10
DS1: 11, DS2: crawling
Status: R going well
"When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you know it is healed." - Iyanla Vanzant, Broken Pieces
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