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Fighting2Survive ( member #28410) posted at 12:03 AM on Tuesday, January 10th, 2012
Me: BW, 40.......Him: FWH, 40
D-day: 3-22-10
DS1: 11, DS2: crawling
Status: R going well
"When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you know it is healed." - Iyanla Vanzant, Broken Pieces
Edie ( member #26133) posted at 9:17 AM on Friday, January 13th, 2012
bufffalo ( member #21854) posted at 6:24 AM on Sunday, January 15th, 2012
Fighting2Survive ( member #28410) posted at 7:12 PM on Wednesday, January 18th, 2012
Me: BW, 40.......Him: FWH, 40
D-day: 3-22-10
DS1: 11, DS2: crawling
Status: R going well
"When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you know it is healed." - Iyanla Vanzant, Broken Pieces
AttemptStrength ( member #27947) posted at 6:05 AM on Monday, January 23rd, 2012
BS me
WS him x2 A's
1 autistic DS
I'd never have spent the money on a wedding dress if I knew I was just going to a costume party.
annb ( member #22386) posted at 10:02 PM on Friday, January 27th, 2012
bump 
unarmbears ( member #7480) posted at 3:35 PM on Sunday, January 29th, 2012
FBS-Me, 67
FWH-Him, 62
2 Sons 33 and 38
2 Daughters 36 & 31 And 5 darling grandchildren!
"Love is an impulsive act, it's free. It's the story we tell about it afterward that's our poverty." Byron Katie
Cee64D ( member #21836) posted at 11:54 AM on Monday, February 6th, 2012
The hardest part of forgiveness is accepting it from others...
Me BH 44
Clarrissa FWW 44
D-Day 04 Oct, 2008
WakingFromADream ( member #33934) posted at 8:15 PM on Wednesday, February 15th, 2012
Me(37) DS(9) DD 11/16/11 EA(PA?) M 11y D 9/3/13
Don't make anyone a priority when you are only an option.
AttemptStrength ( member #27947) posted at 7:01 PM on Wednesday, March 7th, 2012
BS me
WS him x2 A's
1 autistic DS
I'd never have spent the money on a wedding dress if I knew I was just going to a costume party.
Mormegil ( member #34841) posted at 8:38 PM on Wednesday, March 7th, 2012
The original 180 was a section in a book by Michele Weiner-Davis. All it was was a technique where you try the opposite approach of what you have been doing, since your previous approach wasn't working. The context was trying to bring a marriage back from the brink of divorce.
I've seen the rest of the "180" ideas attributed to Michele as well, and they did come from her book, but they weren't part of the 180, they were just other ideas and techniques in other sections and chapters of her book.
Me: BH 38
DDay 10.18.2011
Divorced.
DD: 11 yrs old
Dating someone new now.
SuperDuperWonderboy ( member #34716) posted at 3:38 AM on Friday, March 9th, 2012
My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.
blackdog ( new member #34924) posted at 5:24 PM on Friday, March 9th, 2012
I'm new and not exactly sure where to post this. Here goes: I started the 180 a few days ago. I also am realizing that I am most likely codependent. So I'm also kind of dealing with that. Dday was Dec 20, 2011 so it's fresh. I find out Tuesday (thanks to facebook) he had lied about the OW also attending a seminar he went to last month. He claims now that he never spoke with her, didn't expect her to be there and didn't even know she was there until the end when he saw her leaving. I asked him the morning of the seminar if he thought she'd be there and he said no...so maybe it was a lie of ommission but regardless, it still hurt. So I'm pretty much feeling like all of our progress has been wiped away. I checked emails, texts, etc found nothing. He says he didn't tell me because we'd had a "good" day that day and didn't want to trigger me by hearing her name or that she was there. Ok so I slipped on the 180 and had a meltdown. Crying over all of it. When he had to work late the following night I texted him that I was having a hard time believing he was at work. The next morning I started 180 again. Fast forward a few days.....it's like he's mad that I've turned the tables. He's mad that I want a few more days without his daughter being home, says he can't deal, he's sick of the roller coaster, doesn't ever know which person I'm going to be and can't stand being accused of things he's not doing. My first instinct was to apologize, give in and remind him that I love him. But I didn't. I'm still keeping my plans this weekend which don't include him. I'd love nothing more than for him to take me out but since he's not initiating it, I'm sure not bringing it up. So here are my questions. Am I pushing him away by doing this? Where is the anger coming from? Is he just trying to dump it on me? He's always telling me...I'm not blaming you for what happened!! But I feel like he's angry at my reactions to it. Should I stay the course? I'm looking out for me...which is new and scary but I feel almost selfish about it.
Fighting2Survive ( member #28410) posted at 11:17 PM on Saturday, March 10th, 2012
Me: BW, 40.......Him: FWH, 40
D-day: 3-22-10
DS1: 11, DS2: crawling
Status: R going well
"When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you know it is healed." - Iyanla Vanzant, Broken Pieces
ImNellNow ( member #28753) posted at 6:25 PM on Monday, March 12th, 2012
blackdog,
PM coming.
Nell
BS & D
Drinking wine and thinking bliss is on the other side of this.
SisterMilkshake ( member #30024) posted at 5:46 PM on Thursday, March 22nd, 2012
BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)
"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson
Take2 ( member #23890) posted at 5:13 AM on Sunday, March 25th, 2012
bump for newbies
"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?
keraka ( new member #35133) posted at 6:46 PM on Monday, March 26th, 2012
I just saw a post talking about the 180 boundaries. Where could I find this? She talked about a list of boundaries.
Fighting2Survive ( member #28410) posted at 8:27 PM on Tuesday, March 27th, 2012
Me: BW, 40.......Him: FWH, 40
D-day: 3-22-10
DS1: 11, DS2: crawling
Status: R going well
"When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you know it is healed." - Iyanla Vanzant, Broken Pieces
Fighting2Survive ( member #28410) posted at 3:32 AM on Saturday, March 31st, 2012
Me: BW, 40.......Him: FWH, 40
D-day: 3-22-10
DS1: 11, DS2: crawling
Status: R going well
"When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you know it is healed." - Iyanla Vanzant, Broken Pieces
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