SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Sorry Feb,

I know it still hurts but are you finding any comfort in the fact it didn't go past kissing?

I didn't see you feeling soooo good to let the cat out of the bag. Causing someone else pain even if you are just the messenger is not a good feeling.

He told me that after I contacted his wife, he called OM2 because he's a friend, but also because he had a strong suspicion himself that something had been going on between my WW and him. He filled in some gaps for me wrt that affair, not that I really care anymore.

So....who told your WW about the exposure? OM2 ?

Once word gets out among your WW circle of male riders.....their wives will question each of them!!! So, be prepare if more OM's come forward. Your WW will be outcast from the group so fast.....her head will spin!!

Reality is about to slap your WW with a 2x4!!!

it's pretty clear that my WW initiated it, it didn't get past kissing, and it happened once (Sept 30) and he's tried to distance himself since.

Yeah right....just one kiss. Dont believe a single word from this guy. I bet his BS doesn't believe him either since this aint his first rodeo!!

[This message edited by toby at 10:16 PM, March 30th (Wednesday)]

I might get 2x4ed but I somehow feel for your wife at the moment.

I remember seeing my FWH reactions as he realized his world was shattering all by his own doing.

I know she has brought this all on herself, I am not saying otherwise. I hope this opens her up emotionally. I hope she starts to feel true remorse for all the pain that is going around tonight.

My FWH shutdown after dday. He couldn't deal with it.

Feb, I hope you can manage to get some rest, easier said than done. Sorry, you are going through this.

Yeah right....just one kiss. Dont believe a single word from this guy. I bet his BS doesn't believe him either since this aint his first rodeo!!

Who the f--- cares?

This is rippling through innocent families and I'm in the middle of it feeling like shit.

Curious. The tables were turned and the BW had told you that your wife was having an affair, would you consider that BW as the source of why your innocent family was ripping apart? Would you consider her the "middle" of the issue? You place a lot more importance on your role as the messenger than what it is. The reason why this is rippling through innocent families is the direct result of your wife's handiwork.

[This message edited by MovinogPast at 10:27 PM, March 30th (Wednesday)]

I might get 2x4ed but I somehow feel for your wife at the moment.

I remember seeing my FWH reactions as he realized his world was shattering all by his own doing.

I know she has brought this all on herself, I am not saying otherwise. I hope this opens her up emotionally. I hope she starts to feel true remorse for all the pain that is going around tonight.

I do too. OBS1 liked her, she was over there having a drink with OM1 and OBS1 a couple of weeks ago. OM1 has been a friend for years and I am 99% certain that this incident happened once (Sept 30), and for that she loses two friends.

I think I'll be getting some more nasty texts tmorrow.

I did find out from OM1 tonight that TP1 (trip partner 1) knew that we were having marital problems before the trip, but obviously not the reasons. OM1 had told him that he had just received an upsetting email from my W when he saw him at a recent bike show.

What a mess.

Curious. The tables were turned and the BW had told you that your wife wa having an affair, would you consider that BW as the source of why your innocent family was ripping apart? Would you consider her the "middle" of the issue? You place a lot more importance on your role as the messenger than what it is. The reason why this is rippling through innocent families is the direct result of your wife's handiwork.

Thank you. I knew that, but It was good to hear it again.

Especially since the big "outing" is still scheduled for tomorrow

Feb,

Why did OM1 call OM2?

Because they are friends?

Is this like honor among thieves?

You have nothing to feel bad about.

Just maybe you have saved someone else.

Tahiti

Feb,

Why did OM1 call OM2?

Because they are friends?

I think I told OM1 in an email about OM2...he told me that he called him to ask how reasonable I was before he came over..I guess he was told it wouldn't get violent so he showed up to talk.

I think I told OM1 in an email about OM2...he told me that he called him to ask how reasonable I was before he came over..I guess he was told it wouldn't get violent so he showed up to talk.

I gotta say, I wouldn't have bothered with any interaction with either of them. What's the point...to help them feel better? To hear their side?

Going back to a point you made just a few posts ago, who the f*** cares?

You've got one thing going for you though...OM1 and OM2 have both agreed with each other that you're reasonable and non-violent, so the whole, 'bat-shit crazy' story that is often used won't fly very well for them as they commence their damage-control stories about you :)

Feb,

We all want to see you do the right thing and I guess part of that is about the good guys winning.

No one wins in these situations.

But the kids always lose.

Keep being good to them.

I know you will.

T

...for that she loses two friends.

I must add, don't buy into the WW plea to essentially, "not do this to her friends."

You WW is no more a friend to the other BS than if she were a thug that had robbed her at knife point.

I must add, don't buy into the WW plea to essentially, "not do this to her friends."

I am not doing anything because she asks or tells me to or not to.

I am not doing anything for vengeance (as I pointed out to OM1, I waited 12 days after I found out about him to confront him, and another week to tell his wife). If I had wanted vengenace on OM2, I would have contacted his WIFE right away (as I probably should have-another story) 7 weeks ago.

I am trying to do the right thing. I have agonized over telling the OBSs, as I weigh the immediate stress and heartache against the right to know and possibly avoid worse stress and heartache.

These, for me, are not calculated steps in the game, but moral, ethical decisions on what is really the right thing to do.

If I've told her once, I've told her 100 times, I will make my own mind up on this, regardless of what you say. If I decide that it is 100% the right thing to do, you could put our marriage on the table and I'd do it anyway (and in large part because our marriage should not be a bargaining chip)

I have to work tomorrow, so I'm going to bed to lie down and stare at the ceiling. Be back in an hour or two.

These, for me, are not calculated steps in the game, but moral, ethical decisions on what is really the right thing to do.

Agreed.

You consider and do what you believe is the right, moral thing to do and know that whatever that turns out to be, I'm confident your decision is the 'right' one.

It doesn't feel right now....

Thanks for the email ****. My eyes are wide open about my husband. I thought he had changed but he obviously hasn't. He's the cheater he always was. I will be ending my marriage. I have more dignity than to stay with a cheating son of a bitch.

Thank you for opening my eyes. I have emailed your wife to call her a home wrecking bitch. Please keep her away from my family and specifically my children. I wish you all the best and hope you know that once a cheater, always a cheater. Do right by yourself *****. You deserve better!!!!

You are not responsible for her decisions. She has the right to make informed choices.

If she follows through in getting a divorce, you had no role in it.

Get some sleep!

Get some sleep!

I know!

Now your WW may realise that the control she was trying to exert was but a mirage, but vestiges of that will presumably manifest themselves in further castigation and censor of your actions. Do not allow yourself to be put on the defensive, these are all quite natural consequences of her actions.

(I'm not sure if you intend to reply to OMBS email, but it does feel like a brief acknowledgement would be courteous.)