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Chrysalis123 ( member #27148) posted at 1:41 PM on Friday, January 3rd, 2014
Good luck today. Remember to keep your answers concise, less is more.
Someone I once loved gave me/ a box full of darkness/ It took me years to understand/ That this, too, was a gift. - Mary Oliver
Just for the record darling, not all positive changes feel positive in the beginning -S C Lourie
IrishLass518 ( member #34373) posted at 2:19 PM on Friday, January 3rd, 2014
Major mojo blessings on the way for you AD. Let us know how you feel after.
Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"
7yrsflushed ( member #32258) posted at 2:27 PM on Friday, January 3rd, 2014
Regardless of the outcome you will be fine! Good Luck AD!
D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
Divorced 9/2/14 and loving life!
Abbondad (original poster member #37898) posted at 7:50 PM on Friday, January 3rd, 2014
Thanks, Everyone. Pre-mediation meeting with my attorney went well. We are very prepared. All my demands and requests are eminently reasonable and based in law. But I still will be amazed if STBX concedes to anything pertaining to custody (I am going for 60/40, which is based on the state's "model timesharing plan") and she does not force to trial a very straightforward case out of pure craziness.
Divorced April Fool's Day 2014
Fear is the mind-killer.Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.I will face my fear.I will permit it to pass over me and through me.-Dune
Skan ( member #35812) posted at 12:48 AM on Saturday, January 4th, 2014
Hoping for the best for you!
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
HobbesTheTiger ( member #41477) posted at 12:42 PM on Saturday, January 4th, 2014
Wishing you & your kids all the best!
FaithFool ( member #20150) posted at 2:55 AM on Sunday, January 5th, 2014
DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire
ProbableIceCream ( member #37468) posted at 3:52 AM on Sunday, January 5th, 2014
Uh oh. I think she literally ate him during the mediation.
5454real ( member #37455) posted at 4:15 AM on Sunday, January 5th, 2014
Lol, I think mediation is on January 7th. she still has plenty of time to mess with his head, I don't think she would eat him just yet. 
Stay strong brother.
BH 58, WW 49
DS 31(Mine),SD 29,SS 28(Hers),DS 16 Ours, DGS 11, DGD 8, DGS 3
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 13yrs
"I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone."
― Sophocle
FaithFool ( member #20150) posted at 4:20 AM on Sunday, January 5th, 2014
DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire
Abbondad (original poster member #37898) posted at 2:07 PM on Sunday, January 5th, 2014
Uh oh. I think she literally ate him during the mediation.
Cracking up laughing...
No, mediation is Tuesday, January 7. Friday was just a preparation meeting with my attorney.
Slight emotional setback, for which I have forgiven myself: yesterday I had the kids, and I injured my leg--possible torn calf muscle. Excruciating pain, nearly lost consciousness. I could not find anyone to take the kids while I went to the ER, so I had to phone the STBX to come get them.
She tried to help me to the car; I tried to refuse, but DD was right there too, so I didn't want to shake her hand off my arm. When I was in the car, she tenderly said, "Abbondad, I'm here for you..."
DD was in my arms, and I burst into tears. It just happened. I hated myself for this loss of control and for the narcissistic supply it likely gave her, but like I said, in the moment it just happened.
But the good news: I'm pretty much over it today. I went to the ER myself, I drove myself home alone, and I am recuperating alone. Six months ago, I would have been in emotional agony today after that episode, longing for her companionship, her "support." Now I see it for what it is--a bullshit manipulative mask. I remember what she has done, and who she is.
I have changed. I am still human, and I will falter. But I have changed.
I look forward to Tuesday's mediation.
Divorced April Fool's Day 2014
Fear is the mind-killer.Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.I will face my fear.I will permit it to pass over me and through me.-Dune
hexed ( member #19258) posted at 4:42 PM on Sunday, January 5th, 2014
glad to see you're alive and kic... ok maybe not kicking 
i don't think she's going to eat him a live until she's gotten all the blood she can from the stone.
But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned
“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler
standingonmarble ( member #31217) posted at 5:23 PM on Sunday, January 5th, 2014
Pain of that level can take away all rational thinking for the moment. I have witnessed it before. That's all it was.
It's nice how you were able to keep the DD in your thoughts at the moment, but when is she going to see you drawing boundaries with STBX?? You don't have to be mean about it, but it will happen and I hope you are wrapping your mind around it.
Good luck on Tuesday.
At one time he was a man standing on marbles. Now I am a woman standing on marble.....
We are done fighting with each other and decide to fight FOR each other.
5454real ( member #37455) posted at 5:26 PM on Sunday, January 5th, 2014
That was probably one of the best(positive) posts I have seen from you.
"Abbondad, I'm here for you..."
Now I see it for what it is--a bullshit manipulative mask. I remember what she has done, and who she is.
I have changed. I am still human, and I will falter. But I have changed.
The strength and growth you have/are showing is incredible. The man who first arrived here, compared to the man today? Wow!!
And the clincher?
I look forward to Tuesday's mediation.
She probably has no clue who you are and are in the process of becoming. She had better be scared.
BH 58, WW 49
DS 31(Mine),SD 29,SS 28(Hers),DS 16 Ours, DGS 11, DGD 8, DGS 3
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 13yrs
"I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone."
― Sophocle
Abbondad (original poster member #37898) posted at 3:26 PM on Monday, January 6th, 2014
Hi, Everyone,
Mediation is tomorrow: round two, final round; if impasse, then trial.
Wish me strength, and of course, any last-minute advice is always appreciated!
Divorced April Fool's Day 2014
Fear is the mind-killer.Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.I will face my fear.I will permit it to pass over me and through me.-Dune
velveteer ( member #30997) posted at 3:44 PM on Monday, January 6th, 2014
strength and mojo as always AD.
V
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 8:13 PM on Monday, January 6th, 2014
(((AD))))
Sending much wonderful SI MoJo your way.
Hang tough and remember you deserve to get what you are asking for. Stay the course.
((((and strength))))
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
IrishLass518 ( member #34373) posted at 9:58 PM on Monday, January 6th, 2014
Huge mojo and settlement blessings
Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"
Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 7:09 AM on Tuesday, January 7th, 2014
Sending you mojo for tomorrow!
And your response to her comment? NOTHING to be ashamed of. I almost cried for you right here in my seat. Her selfishness knows no bounds.
(((AD)))
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom
5454real ( member #37455) posted at 1:54 PM on Tuesday, January 7th, 2014
good luck and Mojo today!
be firm with your demands
strength
BH 58, WW 49
DS 31(Mine),SD 29,SS 28(Hers),DS 16 Ours, DGS 11, DGD 8, DGS 3
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 13yrs
"I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone."
― Sophocle
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