SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Grafter40 yes you can get underwear tested. Your WW had an abortion. She secretly got a birth control implant even though you've had a vasectomy. You don't need proof of an A to divorce.

Let me suggest that if you feel you need proof, there are things you can do in addition to the underwear test. Put a VAR in her car. There is a lot of info about how to do this on this site. Hire a PI to follow her. Etc.

Butforthegrace I confronted her a couple months ago she admitted she was seeing other men.

Problem is I still love her. Its just that she insisted she's using condoms with others but I don't think she is. She is seeing a married man from her work as his wife rarely wants sex. But she also has an alcohol problem of being overly flirty with others that really concerns me about her being reckless.

T/J So, your WW is actively cheating on you right now? end T/J

Grafter40, so you are okay with a one-sided open marriage, even where she is still clearly lying to you?

She is seeing a married man from her work as his wife rarely wants sex.

Cheating married men always say that their wives rarely want sex. The women who cheat with them always choose to believe that because it's convenient.

Gently, my suggestion is that you don't love her. Instead, what you love is your imagination of a person who is not her. She is a physical proxy for your imagined spouse.

Among other things, you know her to be a person of low morals and values -- because you know she is sleeping with a married man behind his wife's back. In my world, love is based in part on respect. How can you respect a woman with gutter morals?

[This message edited by Butforthegrace at 2:02 PM, June 14th (Friday)]

To be blunt, they don't usually wear condoms and they don't usually care.

SAWH has been caught 3 times by me. First two times he had sex with at least half a dozen complete strangers each time, probably slept with each woman a handful of times before he or they moved on to the next partner. The first time I caught him, he gave me a lifelong STD. He was fully aware of that after DDay1 and we both got tested. I cried to him, yelled at him, screamed in his face, called him a moron for having no idea how sex transmits diseases, spent months telling him how STD's work and are transmitted, showed him pamphlets, read him stories and news articles, really drilled in safe sex to him.

Did it work?

Nope. 2nd DDay and he had MORE unprotected sex with another half dozen or so strangers, handful of times each, until they moved on to the next partner. Again with the yelling, screaming, crying, "how could you risk my life again"ing, etc. Did it work this time?

Nope. 3rd DDay happened just a few weeks ago. Fortunately I caught him before he had any physical interaction with anyone, however in his messages and emails back and forth to his new perspective partners, he was asking them if they were on birth control so he could have sex without a condom, would they let him have sex without a condom, "I know I'm clean as I was tested last time I cheated on my wife" (and, side note, why in the hell is this a turn on for some woman to hear?????? ).

They literally don't care. They will do whatever feels good to them in the moment, and slipping on a jimmy and taking away that skin on skin feeling isn't it.

Oh Sleepylive I am sorry!!!!! You need to Divorce her... she’s not worthy of you. She fucking around getting abortions... Nope 👎🏻 It’s all a bunch of lies anyway ..

W2BH ...

According to my H...he tried to use a condom . The first two times they went to fuck...when he went to put the condom on he went soft . The third time they got together to fuck...THEY decided to just go for it without one. They were both "clean" anyway . It worked .

My fWH did this too... but eventually got condoms because he had bought several Plan B pills with the slug and he got a scare???!!

WTF... what about the STDs.

Again they are such disgusting losers. And that’s why we don’t Fuck anymore.

[This message edited by Hurtbeyondtime at 11:55 PM, June 14th (Friday)]

Condoms and infidelity

Condoms are used by people who live in reality and are responsible as to the consequences of reality.

Infidelity is for people who live in a fantasy and have no thoughts about the consequences of their fantasy.

My XWW expected me to believe they used condoms even though she was spayed after the birth of our second child.

No, they never used condoms or any other kind of protection.

That would inject too much reality into their fantasy world.

You can pretty much bet any amount of money that your WW did not use any kind of protection.

WAiting.

I heard this too.

He also promised her he was clean.

I then proceeded to ask him...And Exactly when did this happen... he said...”when I asked her if she was clean.. because she looked so clean “.

I said really are you a gynecologist now??

He then thought about it .. and said well she said it’s been a while since she had a boyfriend... And I have been married to you so I promised I was clean and then we fucked.

😑

My XWW expected me to believe they used condoms even though she was spayedafter the birth of our second child.

Kmw, thank you for this.

All these stories are unbelievable.. so many dumbasses in the world. Wait I have one too.

WH went to a prostitute. After 16 paying visits they, these ‘soulmates”, fell into passionate love, both got tested, and went organic for five years.

When I asked him why he thought a prostitute would be faithful he was quite shocked. Never occurred to him.... that she might work on the side.

So disgusted. Some days I can’t believe I married him.

[This message edited by Tallgirl at 6:22 PM, June 16th (Sunday)]