SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I had her swear on her life....

She will say and do anything to get what she wants. That’s how cheaters operate. Think of her affairs like an addiction b/c addicts and cheaters behave the same way.

You cannot believe a word they say. Her affair is the most important thing at the time it is happening unfortunately.

Brother you emotions are under a constant assault due to a your WW controlling the truth.

Seek IC for yourself now! STD and STI checks for the both of you as some infections can be passed is saliva. Seek legal advice for your location as you need to know your rights as well as her responsibilities.

Now find out this turds name and and inform his wife. She has the right to know what is going on. If the information was reversed would you expect her to contact you?

Regardless of this you do not need her permission to do this or if you feel the need tell others of her actions. Just hold off on informing HR as her employment may be terminated. Seek legal advice on this due to any potential alimony if you decide she is too selfish for R. Remember to have a EA and a PA you have to be very selfish. Putting her feelings above her children as well as the hurt it would cause you. I feel there is more to her actions and this was a exit affair so you pull the pin on the D grenade

One day at a time

[This message edited by Buffer at 4:08 AM, April 3rd (Saturday)]

Your rage is normal. You are not manic. Most of us go through that.

All posters here have been through what you are going through. Most posters in your thread have read hundreds of stories. The advice you are getting is really good.

Can your wife go stay somewhere else for a while? You need to get some space.

Your WW needs the attention of other men and will get it no matter if it hurts you and your family. It’s not a one time thing. It’s a pattern.

If you stick around here long enough, you learn that cheaters behave pretty much the same way.

That’s why everybody tells you your WW doesn’t tell you the whole truth. Ask her to write down a storyline of ALL her affairs since you got married. Tell her that you will verify her story with a lie detector (Polygraph).

You can’t reconcile until you know the truth. Based on our experience, you don’t have the whole story yet.

Buffer is right. If you want to D, it’s best she keeps her job

She also keeps trying to say that this year has been so hard...

It’s been a character revealing year, for sure.

But now you know her character.

Hate to put this bug in your mind, but based on your other posts...are you 1000% sure your kids are yours? You absolutely know for a fact what she is capable of, now.

It is so easy to establish paternity with a couple of 23andMe tests.

She also keeps trying to say that this year has been so hard and dealing with what she is doing has caused her such stress.

Well there you go, when you divorce her blame it on the year.

Tell the bastard’s wife NOW. Do not tell your wife you are going to do this.

Cut losses now. This is only going to get more painful for you. She is lying to you. Making her swear on her life means absolutely nothing. In every case I have seen, including my own, where a spouse has sworn on their life or their children's life about what did or did not happen it was a childish and meaningless oath intended only to throw you off and suggest to you that you are now unreasonable if you can't take her most solemnly sworn word of the absolute truth. Now the problem is you and your paranoia and controlling impulses if you cannot accept the truth. You are young. Your wife is a cheating liar. Everything was supposed to be better after her thing with the emotional support partner, right? Right. I predict years of unresolved and for a long time deepening pain if you do not cut losses now. Sorry this happened to you. Read the stories of others here. Read other sites and the stories there. Read some of the books recommended here. Try Cheating in a Nutshell. Kind of strips off the gauzy illusion.

Hurt,

Are you still with us? How did you make it through the weekend? Is your WW showing more ownership for her actions? Has she begun showing empathy for what she’s putting you through?

"It’s been a character revealing year, for sure.

But now you know her character."

YES,YES, AND YES! Count yourself ahead of the game that you have discovered who she is so early and with much less to lose than you might have decades down the road. It sucks for all of us, but you have an opportunity to move ahead and begin the process of rebuilding. Hoping for good things for you.

[This message edited by Justsomeguy at 12:16 PM, April 5th (Monday)]

@Hurt330 I am so sorry you are here and I completely understand the pain you are feeling right now.

You are in the right place though, the veterans of SI have been offering me great advice and have been very helpful during this awful time and I know they will do the same for you.

I feel like you exactly, I was not the best at expressing my emotions and my WW (wayward wife) used this as a catalyst to make me into a bad guy and in her mind, justify having an affair.

I feel exactly like you, I just passed the three month mark and I can hardly physically touch her without feeling disgusted or angry or just torn to shreds.

You hang in there. Take care of yourself and ask questions here as often as you need, the folks here are kind and helpful.

"She texted a few of them. However one of her friends she just texted and said " he wanted me to text anyone and everyone and let them know that I did nothing wrong"."

I hope you shut that down quick! Tell her to retext and tell her friends that she DID SOMETHING WRONG. Omg, she knows what she's texting. She's bull crapping her way thru. And you should tell the AP's wife and have YOUR wife tell her! If your wife do not want to do it, then you know you have a problem.

[This message edited by Tempocontour at 7:52 PM, April 9th (Friday)]