I'm curious to know if there have been any further discussion about either "that odd night in November" in particular, or his townhouse/love nest in general.
It's good to write this out because it forces me to make concrete what few details I can remember.
On this night in early November: It was November 5, 2016 -- only four days after the AP had accelerated physical contact by touching my wife on her rear during Halloween. I was able to look it up just now from an online calendar. So this is approximately one month before they had sex "one time" in our home on Dec. 1, 2016.
My wife insists that it was my idea that one of us had to go to this event that I ended up attending alone. I remember it differently. It's possible she's not gaslighting me on this point, and I did want to go. After all, in the past I've always been "that guy" who wants to be responsible and live up to social and civic obligations. It seems reasonable that she did in fact want me to go with her instead and I felt I needed to attend the other event.
In any case, I remember the beginning of that night clearly. She was pushing me out the door so I wouldn't be late (I was in fact going to be late and I seem to recall at least some reluctance to go to this event).
I went out to my car. I sat there for a minute or two reading something on my phone. I can't remember what. Then something compelled me to go back inside. I also can't remember what. I'd left something possibly. I came in, and she was on the phone in the kitchen with the AP. She got off immediately. I asked who she'd been on the phone with, and something about her reaction -- was it a fraction of a second of hesitation, an avoidance of eye contact? -- caused a tiny niggling doubt to arise in me. I seem to remember it almost as a sensation of a light frisson, a sensation of ice water coursing through me.
She said it was the AP and that the AP's son was coming over for a playdate. I let it go and left for the other event.
I remember thinking her reaction was odd, and the rest of the evening I was unsettled. My brain was just beginning to process the possibilities, but I kept pushing it away while I sat through dinner and engaged with people at the event.
Then somewhere in the 9-10 pm range, I cannot be sure when, I arrived home. I've been trying to remember if I arrived home before her, and I simply cannot. Something in me wants to say I did arrive home before her. She says otherwise. Human memory is unreliable, and there are plenty of cases of eyewitnesses remembering things that never happened, so this part is fuzzy.
She has corrected something I got wrong: The girls night out was not a GNO. I got it confused with another event the same group of women annually does during the holiday season. This was, in fact, a 50th birthday party for one of the friends. (EDIT: And this is indeed the truth; it was a 50th birthday party). Ok, so that makes more sense as to why she sent the photo documenting her presence. It is still a little odd that she went out of her way to do this, but it makes more sense.
She did inform me during the disclosure that:
1. The AP came over to our house after I left. He stayed for a bit and then she left for the birthday party. Our kids were in the house with his child, so it's unlikely but not impossible something happened then. She says nothing did.
2. She then spent the entire 30 minute drive to the party on the phone with him. He told her he wished he could be with her at the party.
3. On her way home from the birthday party, she again spent the 30 minute drive on the phone with him. It was at this time that he asked her to come over to the empty condo/town home that he manages for his father (yeah, he works for his dad). She says he hadn't mentioned this before, that she declined, and that she never has seen the inside of that town home (so any questions about carpeting etc will just be fruitless, as she will just say she doesn't know).
4. According to her, she arrived home before I did. I honestly can't remember. later in the middle of the night, I woke up suddenly with a "3 a.m. epiphany" something was going on, and I could barely think straight for the next few days. It's like my brain did a soft reset and scrubbed short term memories away. It seems plausible, because I'm obviously "in touch" with my wife on a visceral level, that my gut was screaming that she'd had sex with him that night -- and that's perhaps why I woke up. I can't say.
But it's not quite as clear cut to say that she engineered the circumstances of the evening, as I initially said. Of course, the night is suspicious. The whole circumstance of every affair is hinky. It might be more accurate to say she possibly took advantage of an open opportunity based on my whereabouts.
Now let's look at a few things:
1. Yes, I know where the town house is located. I don't know the precise condo, but I know very close bc it's in a group of condos.
2. It is VERY close to our home. 1.5 miles away. A less than 5 minute drive.
3. The photo she sent was while I was at the auction still and (presumably altho I don't know this) while she was at the party. But as you say the timestamp is meaningless and proves nothing. It could certainly be the case (and this has long been a suspicion of mine) that she put in an appearance, got the picture and then rushed back to our suburb and sent the picture at a time convenient for her to "document" that she was there at the party. (EDIT: Now, if she did this, it would have been odd to her friends - they are a group of mature women, and it would have been hurtful for her not to stick around but it could have happened).
I don't have any way of knowing because I wasn't tracking her location at the time, because I wasn't suspicious of her.
4. She says he didn't bring up the townhouse in any way that evening until they were on the phone on her return home. She says she declined his invite, saying that I would be home soon, and that she realized I might already be growing suspicious.
5. She claims she never went to this townhome or any other location during the course of the affair to be with him other than: her office, their respective vehicles, a few "date" locations like restaurants and the mall, and our home.
Obviously the town home thing has always nagged at me.
She is saying now that she told me before in the past three years about him inviting her over that night, but I told her I don't remember it that way -- and that she'd only told me in the past that he'd alluded to using the town home on unspecified dates but that they never had. It feels to me like it's new information that she's telling me now he invited her to this empty condo specifically that night. Again, I can't be sure.
[This message edited by Thumos at 2:43 PM, December 18th (Wednesday)]
