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She is their daughter and they love her. Love is not the same as approval.

Enough about her. You are going to have to get ahold of yourself because buddy you are losing yourself in the hate. You need to keep your shit together because you have a wounded teenage daughter depending on you. I'm assuming you are not in counseling given your behavior and refusal to answer when asked. Nothing but vents about your STBXWW. That's over with, time to man up for your kids.

How is your daughter doing? Do you have your her in counseling at least? Bare minimum, Dad, given how she was affected. How is that going?

2018.... I know you're in pain and more over really pi$$ed of with her. There are no winners with infidelity. Parents always back their kids up and regardless of what she's done, they want her to be safe and well. Don't hold that against them.

Maybe this meltdown is for the best ... in that you aren't undecided about a reconciliation in the future.

Don't forget to eat and keep hydrated.

Yes, I have been seeing a counselor.

And yes, she is seeing a counselor as well. I told her to sleep at a friends house last night so she would see her mother the way she was.

Called and begged for an unscheduled one for today. It starts at 3pm

[This message edited by 2018MLMM at 1:07 PM, April 7th (Saturday)]

Thank you SandyLee

2018 - I believe you're doing the right thing. I went through something very similar. Everybody heals differently. Everybody deals with the situation differently. I had to do it my way not ways that other people succeeded. At the end the day we could not reconcile.

She destroyed your trust in her. She destroyed the marriage. She destroyed the relationship. She knew better than to do the things that she did. It is none of your fault it's all on her. She went into the affair willingly and looked forward to it. She's only sorry that you caught her. As I said previously.

It seems like she melted down because she was using the POSOM as a backup. When you showed her the videos of him screwing around on her it made her realize she made herself into a sex toy for a POS.

In my opinion she has the morals of a prostitute. You should have her live with her parents or sister and you should move on.

[This message edited by Txquail at 1:19 PM, April 7th (Saturday)]

Inappropriate response

[This message edited by SI Staff at 2:59 PM, April 7th (Saturday)]

Indeed you should move on. The level of betrayal she did is beyond measurements. But be calm to the outside world, if you show too much anger it will be used against you and you will come out as the bad guy. I would advice to seperate as soo as possible if there is no chance for reconciliation.

It's kinda funny you like Alice Cooper. when I'm feeling down in the dumps my go to song is 'Ballad of Dwight Fry'... with that said, I-got-to-get-out-of-here.

Yes, I have been seeing a counselor.

And yes, she is seeing a counselor as well. I told her to sleep at a friends house last night so she would see her mother the way she was.

Called and begged for an unscheduled one for today. It starts at 3pm

That's great to hear. This crap is so. very. hard. Impossible to describe unless you've been through it. At DDay I was full-time parent after their mother had split. I went to counseling, got meds for anxiety and sleep, and kept it together for their sakes as well as mine. It worked out ok. Not my life plan, but it went pretty well for the kids and myself. I want the same for you. The key is focus and action on productive things for your future.

Her parents are the last resort, most parents will try to help their kid even of they don;t suport it. They are her last hope until she gets some med / psych help.

This is probably her hitting bottom with the surprise discovery that she was being cheated on while cheating. Just added to entire shit sandwich that she made for herself, which is different from the one she served you.

Concentrate on your kids, I hope they have some concern/compassion for their mother...not forgiveness but concern.

Allow her family to help her for a couple weeks and try to find some peace with yourself...keep in touch with her sister. You need to know what is going on.

Maybe hang out with a real life friend (no drinks) but maybe dinner and talking....

Just about to leave parking lot of counseling

While in parking lot, I called my boss, gave him a quick summation of what was going on, and told him I need to take Monday - Wednesday off.

Then checked Southwest’s website and booked to tickets to someplace warm and sunny. Flight leaves tomorrow at 5:50 am.

Daughter jumped at opportunity. She is racing home to start packing.

Will call son and my brother to let them know where we are, and NO ONE ELSE! And they are to tell no one. . Will only accept calls from them. Brother is to call in case of emergency.

Will shut off friend finder/tracker on our phones.

Need to get sunblock, sunglasses, and bathing suit.

Still need to book hotel and transportation. LOL!!!

This is the best decision I’ve made in a while!!!

Thanks everyone!

Good for you. enjoy. No chance for DS to join you?

Were you seeing your therapist? How was it?

[This message edited by Stevesn at 5:10 PM, April 7th (Saturday)]

Yes, it was a counseling session for me.

Just talked about entire thing, then focused on last 24 hours, then what was my goal & how to achieve it, and how I need to escape this circus for a bit.

ZERO chance son can join us. But all three of us will be going away in 2 months.

[This message edited by 2018MLMM at 4:55 PM, April 7th (Saturday)]

Smart move.

Good, you need a break from this hate.

I hope your wife has learned something and puts her life back together. Nobody should live a life of pain, not when they have understanding of what they did and can heal.

Responding to earlier comments- I'm not for extreme punishment of any WS. Then what? The OM was a jerk, the WS was a jerk to the BS and last,the BS is now a jerk? What good does it do?

Better off that you get away and don't be consumed by this. I think it's healthy, it's responsible and you can be confident that people will respond in a positive way. The past is done.

You have your victory already, time to end the war and both of you start healing.

[This message edited by pureheartkit at 5:47 PM, April 7th (Saturday)]

Hm. Make sure you aren't pulling her randomly out of school?

The divorce is still months away, but April 7th is going to be the day that I consider myself completely single! The legal paperwork will just have to catch up to me!

Yes, I agree that the paperwork has nothing to do with whether or not you are single again. It takes a lot of strength to get to where you are right now - I wish you luck as you move forward. And of course I hope your little vacation helps you clear your head and get some real rest & relaxation.

So I guess the IT guy isn’t going to be able to go through OBS computer, huh?

I totally agree that no one should try to push their WS over the edge. But I also think that no one needs to risk their own life and emotional well being trying to rescue someone who is teetering on the edge because of their misdeeds.

Translated - you are not responsible for trying to save her from the consequences of her egregious behaviors. That's on her - you have no obligation to save her from her own actions.

snorkel gear