SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Yup!!!

Don't waste your time emailing these guys.....send the emails to their bs's!!!

You'll get better results if ya just notify their wives....

Bufffalo

Yeah what they said!!!!

Expose them to their BS's. This will generate a shift in her games.

[This message edited by lordhasaplan? at 2:01 PM, March 23rd (Wednesday)]

I have a letter of official separation to deliver.

I cried in the lawyerr's office.

This is real.

Feb,

Anyone who says this doesn't s*ck is lying to you.

You have done a great job with how you have dealt with all of this.

Just be careful, it can get worse. Especially when it comes to the kids.

Just wanted to say I am pulling for you.

Tahiti

She wants you to spend the next 10 or 15 years in a sexless, loveless marriage with a roommate helping you raise your kids, instead of in a loving relationship with a woman who appreciates you and actually wants to make love with her partner?

She's twisted. Seriously.

She wants you to spend the next 10 or 15 years in a sexless, loveless marriage with a roommate helping you raise your kids, instead of in a loving relationship with a woman who appreciates you and actually wants to make love with her partner?

She's twisted. Seriously.

I think a better word is delusional!!!

Word of caution.....her reaction to separation papers might not be what you expect. She might see it as an excuse to go wild and fuck anybody she wants now. And it will be painful to watch. Be prepared.

Oh shit.

WHAT????!!!!!

There's nothing here to save. I'm sorry. She wants an open marriage. She's delusional and staggeringly entitled. You don't own her body? WTF? You aren't asking her to be chattel. She made a commitment to you, which clearly means nothing to her, other than how you can best serve her.

Expose her. Tell the other BSs.

A few years from now? You're going to look back on this time as crazy darkness. You'll wonder what you ever saw in her. You'll be in a happier, better life. You'll survive this. Believe it.

((hugs))

Feb

What happened? Are you okay?

Wishing you strength.

I told her about the letter and was about to give it to her...

She begged and pleaded with me...I held firm "What do you expect me to do? You've never had any physical attraction to me. There has never been any interest in sex."

"I didn't say that."

"Yes you did. You used absolutes like never, zero and always and you were so adamant and forceful when you said it"

"Well, it's obviously not true. There's always been something there. I guess it got worse, maybe because you were pushing me away after you found out, I started feeling that way. I don't really feel that way"

We are still in LIMBO.

I think I've made a decision though...not to ruin T*****'s (innocent H to S of OBS) trip to South Carolina...I plan to call OBS today from work..all the fallout should happen BEFORE they are due to leave, and he won't get a call from his wife while he's down there with my WW demanding he come home.

Speaking of the group, she agreed to give them up, but then proceeded to lay on a guilt trip about how she would get fat becasue she wouldn't ride anymore....

So let me get this straight -- her lack of interest in sex with you is YOUR fault? For "pushing her away"? Because... um... she had an affair?

Blameshift much?

And theoretical cellulite she might gain is more important that her family and saving her marriage.

Ok-ay. Just wanted to make sure she had her priorities straight.

You aren't in limbo, you're in hell. Best way to get out of hell is move forward through it.

She loves her cake.

WHAT????!!!!!

Oh shit.

think a better word is delusional!!!

Word of caution.....her reaction to separation papers might not be what you expect. She might see it as an excuse to go wild and fuck anybody she wants now. And it will be painful to watch. Be prepared.

That's what. I hadn't even thought that separation in the same house IS what she wants (bfd if we're best friends or not, what she really wants is co-parent, financial help)...after initially begging/pleading with me not to do this, she started saying, well, maybe we should take a break and figure things out...would you take me back?

I told her then that it was either separation leading to divorce or a marriage. Stay tuned.

She is probably thinking, a year to party and he will take me back. You should make it clear you didn't like the way she acted while you were together and you could only imagine how she will act once seperated. You would not want her back.

Speaking of the group, she agreed to give them up, but then proceeded to lay on a guilt trip about how she would get fat becasue she wouldn't ride anymore....

Really?? This is the only bike riding group? She can't ride without them, or with you?

Sorry for the whiplash you just got from your WS. Indecision can be very tough, but it sounds like she would have a ton of work to do to get to remorse despite her change in attitude.

Feb 8, 2011 starting to reach his anger stage? Wow. I must say, you are definitely seeing things more clearly and your strength and resolve is getting through to her. Still, it seems her mind is still set on the open marriage/roommates idea.

The idea of eating cake, where she still wants the comfort and security of marriage without having to be faithful is still attractive to her. It's inspiring to see that you are letting her know that is not an option.

"I didn't say that."

"Yes you did. You used absolutes like never, zero and always and you were so adamant and forceful when you said it"

"Well, it's obviously not true. There's always been something there. I guess it got worse, maybe because you were pushing me away after you found out, I started feeling that way. I don't really feel that way"

That's the sound of A-fantasy meeting reality. Backpedalling, bargaining, revisionist history.

Keep the heat on, Feb. Now is not the time to waffle. Play hardball. You know what she wants: a facade marriage with financial support and help parenting the kids while she's free to fuck anyone she pleases. She's made it quite clear - I'll give her that. Now it's your turn to make clear what you want and what you won't tolerate.

Oh, Feb, I cried when you said you cried in the lawyers office. (((Feb)))

I am so sorry you are in so much pain. This really sucks. You are such a good man with integrity, I am hurting for you.You and your kids do not deserve any of this.

And the mind games she is playing with you are just so mean. It still is all about her. She is scared for herself, she still isn't thinking of you.

I think she is still going on the South Carolina trip, although she may back out at any time. She's really on edge, wondering about my intentions. She keeps saying that she doesn't want to go (I'm getting good at telling when she's lying..she isn't). She even asked me to tell her not to go. Sorry, hon, not making it that easy on you.

I tried to phone OBS today, which would actually end her participation on the trip (trickle down effect) but there was no answer.

I can't wait until she leaves...and yet given the right circumstances, I still want to spend the rest of my life with her...how can that be?

SisterMilkshake - Thank you for you kind words.

She's really on edge, wondering about my intentions.

Draw that line - set your limitations - AND back it up.......then there'll be NO WONDERING....

Keep the heat on, Feb. Now is not the time to waffle.

Play hardball. You know what she wants: a facade marriage with financial support and help parenting the kids while she's free to fuck anyone she pleases. She's made it quite clear - I'll give her that. Now it's your turn to make clear what you want and what you won't tolerate.

I agree.....DONT negociate with a terrorist....set your limitations.

Good luck bro....

Bufffalo

She even asked me to tell her not to go. Sorry, hon, not making it that easy on you.

It almost seems like you're playing games here. What do you want from her? It seems to me that if she goes, that would be the end of the marriage. If she stays, there may be a chance to save it. What do you want?