SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Him: The next person I marry I'll be in love with.

I was so broken-hearted and in shock at the time and that sentence hurt so bad. I wouldn't let him know that though...he ditched me for his AP.

Me: Boo hoo you poor poor victim. Fuck you.

Barcher,

I love that movie. One of my favs.

[This message edited by Brokendespair at 1:56 AM, February 22nd (Friday)]

She said that she “never felt chemistry” and that we never had a “spark.”

Complete bs, cheaters script stuff. But it hurt a lot when I first heard it, before I learned about the mind of th cheater

Mine said, in a text to OW, "I f***ing hate my wife. I hate the people I live with."

Hello...you only live(d) with me and our son. You hated him too? That statement put me right over the edge into white hot anger.

I DO. Literally that worst thing ever. In fact it was her, her mom and her aunts idea that I should get a move on and propose. I wanted to take my sweet ass time, but oh no, she was the one who wanted to get married, and than she is the one who cheated.

God I wish i could have had my yrs back.

Hard to pick but I think it was when he was cheating when I was pregnant. One day I slipped on ice and had to be in the hospital to be monitored for several hours. He was out of town on “business” (a short plane ride away and could have easily come). He didn’t come back that day so I was sitting in the hospital alone all day (my family happened to be out of town) and that night had to have my babysitter stay with me and our other two children in case I had to go back to the hospital.

Lovely

I hope there really is a special place in hell for men who cheat on their pregnant wives.

[This message edited by Skittlebug234 at 6:46 PM, February 22nd (Friday)]

She said that she “never felt chemistry” and that we never had a “spark.”

Complete bs, cheaters script stuff. But it hurt a lot when I first heard it, before I learned about the mind of th cheater

Hold2win I'm not trying to make you feel bad, but if the two of you were platonic friends and roommates for a year an half before you got together maybe she is telling you the truth.

If she wasn't trying to get you in bed the first week you two moved in together it is possible there was no immediate sexual or physical attraction on her part. It is a tough pill to swallow I know, but maybe in this one instance her fog-addled brain is providing you some insight as to her motivations. Maybe she saw you as her last viable alternative...until OM showed up. If this is the case, you have to come to terms with the possibility you got used.

You may have to accept that maybe she settled for you. I am still asking the same thing of my fWW, because she told me something similar back when we were first working on R. My fWW says she was not immediately attracted to me, but she denies settling for me, which I think is bull. We'll see.

[This message edited by LivingWithPain at 4:28 PM, February 25th (Monday)]

There's a lot to choose from, but one of the things that stuck with me for a long time in the weeks following DDay was this nice little exchange. I caught her affair 3 days earlier. Day 2 was her epic blame-shifting extravaganza. Day 3 she completely stonewalled me and blew off coming over to talk about it. Day 4 she finally came over and, while I'm eaten away inside and a bevy of mixed emotions, I'm keeping my cool. I'm letting her know how much I love her. I'm completely ignoring her infidelity and focusing solely on my own contributions as a not-so-great husband. I'm staying positive and desperately searching for any sign from her that she wants to salvage this thing that we call our marriage.

I tell her she could move back in. I assure her that we can cohabit peacefully. That her fear that we'd just be "preparing our own meals and being super awkward" doesn't have to be our reality. That we've shared 12 years of our lives together and should have it in us to be respectful. I'm in full fledged Bargaining Phase and pleading with her to come back home, to work on her marriage, with me. And then she says:

"Well, I'll come here during the week, but I'm gonna wanna go out on the weekends. Without you. And I don't want you sitting here worrying about where I'm at or what I'm doing."

Like she put one of those jaw-ripping Saw contraptions on my face, ripped my mandible off, and started shitting down my open throat cavity. Jesus. At the time, I just kind of moved past that and said that it would be fine. She had no intention of moving back in anyway, and she never did. As the weeks went by and I replayed this 2 hour discussion in my head, I kept getting hung up on this statement. Here's her husband, hat in hand, baring his soul, coming from a place of weakness (something which probably turned her off rather than made her feel pity) and asking her to come home to work on her marriage. And she pretty much tells me she doesn't want me getting my undies in a bunch while she goes out and parties with her coworkers on the weekends and fucks one of them, but without having the balls to tell me that she's completely done with the relationship.

This is bad enough, but imagine (I'm sure many of you don't have to imagine) hearing that when just a few days earlier, you thought all was well in the marriage and there were no signs that this was even an option.