SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

“I really do think the world would be better off without some people in it.

Hollywood loves to whitewash cheating and portray adultery as true love, but based on what I have read on this site, your average cheater is so selfish, heartless, and unfeeling, that most cheaters are nothing but monsters in human form.”

AMEN to this post above by CatsEye. I was thinking about all the things that have happened and he truly is a MONSTER

Yes, catsEye is very good with words. Are you a writer?

This was before the affair by almost a year, but the conversation took place after D Day.

While I was away caring for my dad for several months , he told me that he was going home at night and eating frozen pizza by himself.

well, I'm sorry but I couldn't find much sympathy for him as I was watching my father die at the time he felt so lonely.

Wow And here I thought I was the only one lol...I get all kinds of stuff out of his mouth mostly on when I call him on stuff that's true.....

I got your a stupid drunk.....Cause I like my Friday night wine lol....I also get shut up you fat cow....I hope you starve to death..... and the c word comes at me all the time …..and his favourite is your to stupid for me...…...

wow I'm reading all these reply and the are all similar I guess people who cheat need to find ways to blame you to cover there guilt ...the most popular one is you forced me into marriage you made me have a child......lol its quite humorous looking at all this but sad on the other hand...Im truly happy I read this forum it strengthened my ability to see who the real coward is in all this Thanku for posting and sharing...…..Please exscuse my spelling.....

The first awful thing was actually done to his family and our sons. His uncle was dying with only weeks projected to live. We had decided that when he came back from Afghanistan mid-contract, we (youngest DS and i) would meet him in Oh and would buy oldest DS a weekend ticket (he was in college and couldn't be away from school longer than that) so that his dying uncle could see all of us. He hadn't seen the oldest since he was a toddler and had never met the baby (17 is still a baby to me). Weeks before he was due back he changed his mind and said he wouldn't pay for our tickets and that he was going to see his uncle by himself. He made all kinds of stupid excuses. He spent 4.5 days in OH. He spent 3 hours with his uncle and family and that was it. Three guesses who he secretly had a tryst with. He chose her over his children, never mind his loving wife, and over his dying uncle.

BTW his uncle passed 3 weeks later without ever meeting youngest DS .

The second worst thing, after DDay and after my HPV (that his side chic passed on to me through his wondering dick) and abnormal pap, while I was undergoing cancer screenings, he told me that he could care less if I lived or died, I wasn't his fucking problem anymore, and that since there was never going to be a "good time" to do this, he might as well leave me now. Yep, he left me to die.. alone. For the grace of God it was "only" precancerous cells and I'm here to tell the tale.

Oh and he put his hands on me and I was in fear for my life so when I got free I went for my 9mm, chambered a round, and chased him out of the house. 🤷‍♀️

[This message edited by StillLivin at 12:28 AM, December 30th (Sunday)]

I'm in so much pain right now...it's literally hard to see.

My wife and I have a rocky M...I strongly suspect an A and red flags abound. She is adament that nothing happened and I am crazy...I'm not crazy.

We tried to go on a date, to a museum. She is trying to open up and "be honest" and she goes into a speil about turning 45 and how many things she missed out on. She regrets having to work so hard and not have time to travel, having had to go to local college and not get to have a "college experience", and most of all...she said she regrets not having a ton of sex with other men...

Yeah...you read that right...my super christian wife...who has, for a decade, criticized me for having more sexual partners than her prior to our M...my "I saved myself for you" (despite having sex with men before me)...wife...says her biggest regret in life is not getting fucked by other men.

This...after 10 full years of sexual rejection...10 years of "I'm tired...I don't feel well...the kids are still up...maybe tomorrow...you are weird for wanting sex all the time...why can't we just love without sex...sex isn't my love language...I'm christian and I don't have that desire..."

A decade of being told I'm not enough...I'm not worthy of her sexually...I'm not doing enough around the house...of I would get sex if I took her on more vacations so she could relax...the soul crushing "just be quick"..."only with the lights off"..."I'm not in the mood, but I will for you"...the f'in dehumanizing rejection of me, as a husband...

And for her to say "My regret is that I didn't fuck enough men prior to you"...

She has rejected me for a decade...and to say that out loud...

And then have the lack of awareness to get mad and "I'm not apologizing for being honest"...when I'm destroyed by that...

As if I'm wrong to be totally in pieces when I've tried to build intimacy for a decade and been humiliatingly rejected thousands of times...

That's got to be the most cruel thing anyone has ever done or said to me. I'v poured a decade of my life...probably close to 2 million dollars...4 kids...my soul...my heart...walked away from jobs that paid massive money...to be told her biggest regret in life is not fucking more men prior to meeting me...while she denies me any sex that isn't missionary in the dark in silence with no passion.

She is sitting at home right now...pissed at me for being hurt and angry.

I've never been more WTF with another human being in my life.

This has to stop. I'm not codependent and I don't need this. My kids need me. She doesn't deserve me. I deserve better than her.

F this.

Sorry, I didn't have anywhere else to say this.

I'm not lost. I know what I have to do.

Fuck...how can people be this blindly cruel. How can they not see the life that is laid out before them...the amazing perfect wonderful family and life that they have been given...and just take a dump on it...

This hurts.

I've had about all the hurt I need in this life. It's time to make that hurt feel some hurt.

Sorry Unboken78,

She is exceptionally cruel. If Inwere you, I would print up what you just posted, word for word, give it to her, and go see my lawyer to learn my rights. Your words are eloquent. Let her see in words the depth of your pain. Just my two cents. Good luck.

My TBXWW got pregnant with the EA begged me for money for an abortion. Now she is still shacked up with him.

Shows character...

I have a new one for this. I forgot about it.

When my depression got really bad, I would dissociate... meaning, I would have lapses in my memory. It's really scary, to be honest.

Just before I attempted suicide, I asked her to kill me. She replied, "No, you'll have to do that yourself."

Now, you might think that's an awful thing to say. And maybe it is... but the fact that she said that doesn't really bother me. I honestly don't think that she had any idea that I'd respond by saying "OK" and then turning on the bathtub, grabbing a utility knife, and opening up my wrist.

The really bad thing... though... is that after I came from the mental hospital... I asked her if she had told me "No, you'll have to do that yourself." She lied and said that she never said it... that I must have just been hallucinating.

And that, my friends, is the worst thing that my ex ever said or did. She intentionally lied to me to make me feel even more crazy than I was actually crazy.

I watched Silver Linings Playbook the other night. There is a really nice scene in the movie (after Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence have a "date" at a diner... the scene where he orders Raisin Bran). She starts going off on him for whatever reason, causing him to trigger and go into some sort of bipolar state where he hears his trigger song in his head. It's really touching because Jennifer Lawrence recognizes that she's triggered him and stops what she is doing and brings him back to reality.

That's a movie, though. In real life, my wife kept going with her triggering bullshit to make me even more crazy.

Yeah, I fucking hate my ex.

[This message edited by barcher144 at 9:34 AM, February 19th (Tuesday)]

My WW told me,in full bore infatuation/ limerance "I like to have sex and if I can have sex with other people without feeling the emotional attachment that I have with you, well" My jaw hit the floor so hard. I'm like who are you and what did you do with my Wife. My response, I'm filing for D! She still hasn't snapped out of fantasy land even with AP gone.

Mine wrote a TWO-PAGE list of the things that were wrong with me for his lawyer. That was painful to read. But the worst thing he said to my face was, “I knew on our honeymoon that I’d made a mistake.” He said that while we were trying to reconcile!

The funniest/stupidest thing he said was something along the lines of, “we aren’t throwing our relationship away. We’re RECYCLING it.”

Moron.

I want a Divorce was the worst thing. We had a good marriage. He was treated well. He had freedom and I wasn’t a nag. In 25 years of marriage we had never said the “d” word.

Funny how at DDay2 he was stunned when I told him I was Divorcing him b/c I was working my butt off to reconcile and he was still cheating.

Hard to fathom you are being kicked to the curb for someone he knew less than 6 months.

[This message edited by The1stWife at 3:57 PM, February 19th (Tuesday)]

Things she said that hurt the most

1 - I did not love you the last two years

2 - I did not love you the last five years

3 - I did not love you the last ten years

4 - I don't think I ever loved you at all

5 - I think I settled when I married you

6 - (After being physically separated for a 10 months and 18 month separated in total, in the middle of our D, I was dating my current wife) During mediation we talk custody and she blurts - "He told our sons that his new girlfriend is going to be their new mother! That she is going to replace me!" Her attorney looks at her like "Where in the living fuck did that come from!?!?" (clearly a strategy my XW and her attorney did NOT discuss) while me, my attorney and the mediator were just surprised at her outburst. At that point the mediator breaks the awkward silence that followed with "OOoookaaaay...I think we should mediate from separate rooms!" I mean, first of all "WTF" as my kids didn't even know at the time I was dating so I NEVER put it in their minds what my plans were beyond D. On top of that although it was kind the most shoot yourself in the foot and look like an unstable crazy bitch for my XW to pull, it did kind of hurt that she would project such a shitty characteristic of herself and her AP on to me. I wanted to respond with "Replace? you want to talk about REPLACE? Why don't you explain to the entire party here and our boys what your plan here was the last 18 fucking months in terms of you replacing your AP's wife, and he replacing me!?!? I've got all that on printouts showcasing that Brady Bunch plan of yours in my lawyer's brief case right now!" And at one point when we were kind of at a stalemate in the custody portion of mediation and my "dating" kept coming up my attorney did offer those printouts up to the mediator but she declined because she figured out what my XW was trying to do and was able to talk her crazy down. Mediator was a retired family court judge so she was able to lay out some "realities" from her career experience for my XW to consider.

Oh, and to this day she still denies her affair.

I asked my WW if she wanted a D. She said she didn't know what she wanted during the separation. I knew what I wanted when she wouldn't give me the time of day, Mr. Wonderful had a strong pull on her. I started the process and filed to be done with infidelity once and for all. Now she claims that it was her idea to D. Whatever stbxw, have fun rewriting history the rest of your life!

“I do.”

The worst thing he said to me:

“I love you.”

The worst thing he did:

Ask me to marry him.

Then I would’ve never had the need to be on this site.

One night in false R I am not sleeping well. He says in the sweetest voice while pulling me gentle over to him “ just rest your head on my chest, “AP”.” Yeah that one is gonna stick with me for a while.

"YOU are so behind what I envisaged for us"

"I deserve so much better"

So glad to be rid of her.

“I do.”