SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

No marriage = Not losing half of your belongings and more to this whore after divorce. Well done, strength brother!

Master how did it go telling her parents?

Don't marry her. If she would cheat on you, and then you have to find out from a third party what really happened . . . . no.

She'll do it again.

She "only" gave him a blow job?

Take a deep breath and be glad you found out before you tied the knot.

Master,

It also sounds like you don't have a name for the OM or she will claim she does not know.

Hard to stay with a woman when you don't know who the OM is.

I agree with all the posts above. great to have Spaceghost join us.

Always blunt but brutally honest and refreshing.

I hate stories like this one.

Bachelor and Bachelorette parties can get disgusting. I don't know why people think it's acceptable to fuck another person just shy of their wedding although it would have been wrong to do at any point in their relationship. If they feel the urge to 'explore', they are not and probably never will be marriage or relationship material.

1) Thanks for coming by here to get our opinion. There are many experienced voice here who care about you

2) Vegas is a nogo on a Bachelor/ette party. There is a reason why they call it sin city. She could have cheated anywhere but Vegas makes it much more likely.

3)There is never an excuse to have strippers/prostitutes at such parties. What the hell do they think is going to happen ? When people play into that as desirable, then those people have to be questioned regarding their affiliation to you or your GF/Wife. In other words, your fiance screwed up big time and is responsible but her friends are cancer as well.

4) I applaud you for ending the relationship decisively. She will go on in life and hopefully will not repeat that mistake. Chances are that she will do it again but be more careful. She doesn't deserve you.

5) I wonder if she has cheated on you before

6) If you had sex with her between the trip time and discovery time, get yourself tested fast

A few questions

1) How did the other woman's boyfriend find out or how did he get his girlfriend to confess ?

2) Are they still together ?

3) What has been your now ex-girlfriends reaction to you dumping her ?

4) Good call on setting the record straight with her parents. Don't allow anyone to let you be the bad guy. You aren't.

5) Now that you knows what it is like to be the betrayed, never be the other man in someone else's relationship. Keep your good morals strong

I hope you come back with another update and good luck to you

Get out while you can. It would be hard to believe that with all the stressors of marriage, that should would become more faithful overtime. If she was so willing to do this onc, she would do it again.

And “only” a blowjob, is pretty freaking terrible on its own.

You could always find if any pictures are taken - if so get a big print out - and add the caption "NOT MY D***" and send it to her parents and anyone else who balks at your cancelling the wedding.

I'd love an update on how you are and how this is going...

[This message edited by Chaos at 9:48 AM, June 14th (Friday)]

If by some twist of fate you end up deciding you really love this girl and still want to marry her, sometime in the future, please, please get a good attorney and have an iron clad prenup drawn up. I recommend, in this day and time, that every couple getting married have a prenup. No prenup, no marriage. She has shown you a side of her you didn't know existed. A prenup will protect you from those facets of her that you don't know about. I do wish you well.

I agree with anoldlion.

Get a prenup if you ever go this route howwver by your ages and the betrayal, I still say run !!

If you posted to this thread with help and advice, thank you for everything, I canceled the wedding as soon as I found out, maybe I didn't mention that in my last reply, I spoke to her parents... her dad first, we have a very good relationship, I think the news broke his heart nearly as much as it did mine, I never spoke to her mother because it wasn't necessary... lets leave it at that. Once again, thank you all, but posting here was a big mistake, everytime I read a comment my stomach gets more tangled, its like re-experiencing the realization that I'm getting cheated on, and the humiliation comes back. A lot of you are saying I shouldn't be humiliated, she should be, I don't know if she is or not and I don't care, but thats exactly what it is.... humiliating for a man. I know all of y'alls thoughts and advice come from a place of experience but I simply can't think about it anymore.

Mow3, thank you for your message and fully understandable that you will now leave it all behind you.

In case you find that you nevertheless would like to discuss how things are going with you in the new life, good or bad, or would like to help others with your advice and insights, feel free to come back here anytime, okay?

Best wishes

<double post>

[This message edited by babypuke at 2:36 AM, June 15th (Saturday)]

That’s the beauty of breaking it off. You can start forgetting about it now. Good luck!

mow3, I'm praying for you.

Oops.

[This message edited by Wool94 at 6:27 AM, June 15th (Saturday)]

You've taken the action you needed to take. Go take time for yourself and come back whenever you like or feel the need for support.

Just remember membership numbers here are now over 70,000 and I'll hazard a guess that only a fraction of betrayed are here at SI. Just to say you're in good company and not alone.

Good luck.

MOW,

The main reason I created an account here 20+ years after the fact, is to tell people like you:

You will get through this.

Your feeling of humiliation will transform into pride: You won’t take bullshit like this, and people will respect you for the way you handled it.

agreed Shark !!

and btw OP, it was not a mistake you came here. You have expert advice on this board. I am saddened that you won't be back. You just joined family and you don't realize it yet.

I hope the guy who exposed it to you doesn't stay with her either

[This message edited by Western at 5:22 PM, June 15th (Saturday)]

Good Luck

I terminated an engagement and ended a long-term relationship after walking in on my fiancé having sex with another man.

No – don’t work on forgetting this incident.

No – you can’t simply stop thinking about this incident.

I possibly did the perfect response when I ended the relationship. It was way before SI, even way before the internet. But I decided to end the relationship and then actively worked at detaching. Six months later I started to feel OK. Not good, but OK. I realized one day that I didn’t remember why I felt bad. Once I reached that point I could actively work on feeling good. About 12 months post d-day I felt normal and was happy and content with my decision. Now – several decades and a long, happy marriage with a good woman – I think that d-day was possibly one of the best things to happen to me. It probably saved me from several years of misery, child-support, divided parenting and all that stuff…

But about 15 years into my present marriage I started experiencing trust issues. In fact, I had had them all the time, but at that point they sort of swelled up. Put a terrible strain on my marriage and on other relationships. I had the sense to see a counselor who quickly diagnosed me with PTSD.

Parts of that PTSD was traced to some experiences I had as a police officer. Gathering a child’s shattered body-parts can have that effect on you, as can seeing suicide or homicide victims, being lunged at with a knife and all sorts of crazy stuff. But… the MAJOR maybe 90% of the cause of the PTSD was the infidelity.

All that other gruesome stuff… that was part of the job. That was macabre, but understandable. The infidelity not so much.

The shrink only took a couple of sessions to teach me how to cope. Exercises to change how I felt and thought. Make me realize she didn’t cheat because of me or because OM had a mega-dong or whatever. More importantly he taught me that although she had cheated then that did not automatically mean every other woman in my life would cheat. I should not and could not use the same ruler to measure my wife.

So… Don’t forget what happened. Don’t stop thinking about it. Only do so sensibly. Get help or guidance to deal with this betrayal and think LOGICAL and sensible steps to avoid this in the future.

Like if you enter another serious relationship in the future – share with your then gf an make it clear what you consider fidelity and what lines YOU will follow. Commit to those lines and fences and ask her to do so too.