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Edie ( member #26133) posted at 10:19 PM on Tuesday, February 19th, 2013
betrayedhusband ( member #38443) posted at 7:40 PM on Wednesday, February 20th, 2013
I am struggling with this. Haven't read all the posts in this thread, but where does my WW fit in here? Did she A down or did her MOM A down?
Reads like it is always the man who A's down. Somehow that doesn't make me feel much better.
Me BS 48
Her fWW 47
Married 24 yrs
Together 30 yrs
DDay 16 Jan 2013
EA 9 months & PA 1 month
Children 2 young adults
Working through it
"Character is what you are when no one is watching"
heforgotme ( member #38391) posted at 7:55 PM on Wednesday, February 20th, 2013
Betrayed,
They both affaired down.
OM's BS is better for him than your WW.
And we all know that you are better than OM : )
D-Day 11/15/12
5 month PA
Married 20 years, 3 kids
All good is hard. All evil is easy. Dying, losing, cheating, and mediocrity is easy. Stay away from easy.
- Scott Alexander
It was the day I thought I'd never get through - Daughtry
ihearthimstill ( new member #38420) posted at 6:33 PM on Saturday, February 23rd, 2013
Thank you. I needed this today.
me - 42yo SAHM
WH - 37yo, 1st affair
Together 11yrs; Married 9yrs
DDay 2/7/13, 2mo affair ended 12/12
kids: 7yo and 6yo
-----
"Everything works out in the end. If it hasn't worked out, then it's not the end."
stillcrying4ever ( member #38310) posted at 11:11 PM on Saturday, February 23rd, 2013
Nice. I love this. And it is so true!
D Day May 27, 2012
Married 39 years
2 kids, 3 grand kids and 1 on the way
What2Thnk ( member #37863) posted at 7:44 AM on Tuesday, February 26th, 2013
I needed this. More than I knew.
Me (BS) 42 - Him (WS) 43
DD #1 7/19/10 2 year LTA EA/PA w/MOW - HSXGF#1; DD #2 6/6/12 4 mo EA (PA?) w/HSXGF#2; DD #3 12/15/12 3 week EA with random stranger. A whole crapload of gaslighting, minimizing, blameshifting, rugsweeping and TT.
HouseOfPink ( new member #38023) posted at 9:26 AM on Tuesday, February 26th, 2013
YES! YES! YES! My WH went with a low life whore who slept around to feed her low self-esteem. She's short and obese/dumpy. A few people commented she looked like a pig when I showed them what she looked like 
. Even WH told me I was more gorgeous than her and my skin was smoother than hers eventhough she's more than 10 years younger than me.
EffairEmptyness ( new member #38566) posted at 2:50 AM on Wednesday, February 27th, 2013
Wow, I needed that. Thanks!!!
englishrose ( member #34974) posted at 3:20 AM on Wednesday, February 27th, 2013
love it, it's so true
me BW 46 WH 43
DS 7
DS's 21 & 19 (my boys - from my previous marriage)
Ddays 3&17/3/2011
dindy ( member #38424) posted at 10:12 AM on Wednesday, February 27th, 2013
This is great thank you.
Me: BS
Him: xWS
Son: 3 years
Daughter: 10 months
DDay: 27-10-2013
False R: 4-02-2013
S: 20-02-2013
healingk ( member #28889) posted at 1:26 PM on Wednesday, February 27th, 2013
This is sooo true! It did take me a while to figure it out, but I finally got it!
Great Post.
Ws 63
Bs me--60
Married 42 years
D Day 11/30/08
Just trying to feel normal.It is getting there, but very slow.
flashgirlrider ( new member #38691) posted at 7:04 AM on Monday, March 11th, 2013
phoenixrivers ( member #38314) posted at 3:18 PM on Monday, March 11th, 2013
Me: Ph.D.
OM: Heating and Air Conditioning sales and repairman.
Go figure. 
[This message edited by phoenixrivers at 5:59 PM, March 14th (Thursday)]
Me: xBetrayedBF (xBBF)
Her: xWaywardGF (xWGF)
TT: 12/21/12
Splitsville: 1/6/13
DDay: 7/20/13
Done: 8/16/14
"Nobody knows anybody...not that well." Tom Reagan, "Miller's Crossing"
EffairEmptyness ( new member #38566) posted at 6:31 PM on Monday, March 11th, 2013
I never commented when I read this, but it helped me so much, I'm glad I saw it again. In the last session, the MC asked if the EM had hurt my self esteem. Because of this post I was able to say "only initially, but then I realized she was lonely, pathetic, and desperate enough to settle for whatever morsels of attention she can get from a married man. I guess she was such a looser, she could not get any attention a single man" WS was like...damn. I'm so glad I had a chance to say that. The timing was perfect and it felt great. Btw, WS said it was stupid of him and I was prettier than all of them.
kleann ( new member #38696) posted at 7:03 PM on Monday, March 11th, 2013
OMG. Thank you so much for that. I have been stuggling with my own self-esteem so bad since I found out, but you are so right. She is pathetic,not me. She is trash. I am way above anything she will ever be. You just made my day!
Vulcanized ( member #33523) posted at 7:02 PM on Wednesday, March 13th, 2013
In my case, OW looks like an older, busted up, shorter, fatter version of me. I thought she was my age when I saw her. (I regularly get mistaken for late 20's by folks in their 20's.)
Our mutual friends say she is stupid and mean. Winning combo ....
But ... this silly lass has been content fucking MY husband, eating my left-overs for 4+ years. WH isn't coming thru w/d he's been promising. OW still has stuck around. I can only guess WH's attraction is that OW is manageable, unlike me. 
I know for a fact that WH is cheating on OW. Yet, this broken, damaged excuse of a woman STILL sticks around.
So, yeah, they do affair down ... down to the depths of the sewer, if need be.
Me: fBW/MH 40s
3.26.13: Liberation day: D'd the whiny turd after being saddled with a serial cheating, NPD, jitbag 10 years too long
Now:-----> Everything is as it should be
Edie ( member #26133) posted at 11:32 AM on Wednesday, March 27th, 2013
deepbluesky ( new member #38671) posted at 12:36 PM on Wednesday, March 27th, 2013
This makes me feel so good. I have seen a picture of OW and just judging on looks alone he definitely went down a notch. From the other things that I have heard she is nothing like me...insecure, spacey and the likes.
BS - 44
WH - 46
Married 13 years together 16 years
D-Day 23/01/13
Working on it...
kernel ( member #27035) posted at 4:06 AM on Sunday, April 7th, 2013
"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."
Dawn58 ( member #37656) posted at 5:31 PM on Sunday, April 7th, 2013
Thank you so much for this!! I saw the two of them together a few weeks ago and have been completely devastated by that. Wondering what she had that I don't have (big boobs). My friends at the same event told me that I am better looking, no comparison, but of course they would say that.
After reading this, my first impulse is to send it to the skank. Second impulse was the send it to him.
The truth is, I need it more than they do. One of my friends that met her said that she sensed she was desperate. Has been a single Mom for five years, so that explains why she would get involved with a married man. He is just a pig. He cheated on me, cheated on his second wife and will cheat on her. She will be devastated, it will hit her out of the blue. She will have no idea, but she will always worry that he is going to cheat on her because she KNOWS that he is a cheat. She may buy his story now about how lonely he was, how I neglected him, how I didn't care for him, that all I cared about was my classes. Right now, he's romancing her, spending money on her, telling her all the things that she wants to hear. How he loves her, how she makes him the man he was truly meant to be. All the lies. Then, he will start to suck her dry. It will be all about him. All the little things he will ask her to do for him. He will start to treat her like she is his secretary. She will see his temper when she disagrees with him. His job will always come first, she will only get the part of him that crawls into bed late at night. She will get tired of him waking her up to rub his back because he can't sleep. He will lie to her. He will control her with his money.
And in seven or eight years, her world will come crashing down when another tramp, just like her, approaches him and jumps.
And when that day happens, I will celebrate!!!! But I will have to get through their wedding day first.
I got into the marriage, because I loved him. I got out of the marriage, because I love me.
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