SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Hello Ladies,

Thanks for posting this. Those worries are in my mind, like is his dick is bigger, etc. Yes, it's cave-man ego talk, but I just can't get it out of my head... until now!

The temptation to ask was almost overwhelming, but I didn't.

For some reason I've wanted answers to questions that would do nothing but torture me.

For all us women who have been cheated on one way or the other by their husbands/partners ... didn't we ask the same (roundabout) question ..

Was she prettier than me

Was she slimmer than me

Did she have bigger breasts than me

Its all the same for men!!!

They ask or they assume that the woman strayed cos of the size of his dick!!!

ITS NOT THE CASE!!!!!!

How many women on this thread have said size DOES matter? So lets think, if these women had partners with a reasonable sized penis, and their man had a dreadful accident, and couldn't have sex ever again ... does this mean you would leave your husband, the man you love deeply cos he couldn't satisfy you in bed???

I LOVE my husband deeply. He cant make love to me, never has done and never will ... I never left him because he had a short dick!

I just don't understand ... maybe its me

t/j Heartbroken, check your PM's. end t/j

Size only matters when it comes to hearts and brains. Wallets too maybe.

Sadly WW decided to *share* this info on Dday.

He is longer and I am thicker.

And I honestly do not have any idea at all what to do with that knowledge. It just sits there in my brain. Every once in a while I poke it with a mental stick. It doesnt do anything. Just sits there taking up space.

Heres the thing though. If my WW did cheat on me because I was undersized. What does that say about HER?

That she is stupid and shallow?

If I felt WW was doing that. Or that she cheated on me due to penis size. I would wave good bye and tell her to have a good life. Why would I want to be around a person like that?

fWW only had sex with SOM because that's what happens when you IM eachother for hours a day then go out and get drunk when hubby is out of town. The size of his dick didn't enter into her calculus AT ALL.

However...I do feel blessed that he had a small dick that he didn't know how to use. What did she expect going for a twice divorced (insert ethnic generalization regarding gentlemen rumored to have small dicks)? It gave me something to tease him about after the fact. Plus, my average size dick now looks a lot bigger to her now

Not that I would make generalizations (in general), but for OM, I'll make an exception.

For all us women who have been cheated on one way or the other by their husbands/partners ... didn't we ask the same (roundabout) question ..

Was she prettier than me

Was she slimmer than me

Did she have bigger breasts than me

Its all the same for men!!!

Uh...no, it's completely different.

Women can wear makeup, lose weight, get breast implants.

Guys are pretty much just stuck with what they were born with. So if OM was bigger, it can be quite devastating for a man, mentally.

Uh...no, it's completely different.

Women can wear makeup, lose weight, get breast implants.

Guys are pretty much just stuck with what they were born with. So if OM was bigger, it can be quite devastating for a man, mentally.

I have heard that there are enlargement operations for men as well. I imagine they are quite risky and expensive - same as it would be if a woman had labiaplasty or breast augmentation. But it exists. Heck, there's a wikipedia on it! There are surgeries to change almost every part of the body. Men and women are in the same predicament when it comes to feeling badly about parts of their bodies. We're not as different as we think we are.

Men can also lose weight (and some men I know also wear makeup). And sometimes men and women can't lose weight past a certain point because of the way our bodies are shaped. Certain weights are actually healthy to have!

You feel stuck with what you were born with? I assure you that many folks here, both men and women, feel the same. You feel devastated when you hear about the OM's size? I bet there are many women here who feel devastated when they hear about the OW's tightness. We don't have to invalidate another person's pain in order to acknowledge our own.

I will add my two cents....

My WW tried justifying that the sex with OM was better because he had smaller dick. I said WTF to that as justification.

Uh...no, it's completely different.

Women can wear makeup, lose weight, get breast implants.

Guys are pretty much just stuck with what they were born with. So if OM was bigger, it can be quite devastating for a man, mentally.

So, if a wife has had 3 babies, has stretch marks everywhere u can think of, breast fed so literally no breasts left. Has bills to pay, no money for breast operation and hubby decides to go find a mistress who has a lovely slim body, beautiful smooth skin, lovely breasts and is extremely attractive .... you don't think us women feel the same way a man does ....

I can guarantee you most women on here will worry what the OW looked like? And because of that, you expect us to lose weight and get breast implants to keep our man!!!!!! If a man believes that a beautiful body consists of wearing make up, keeping slim and having surgery, then he is shallow.

If a woman believes a man is only a man because of the size of his penis ... is also shallow

Its not all about looks and size ... what happened to love and connection?

Size only matters when it comes to hearts and brains. Wallets too maybe.

So true!!!!

I will say it again and again ... IMHO to me, SIZE DOES NOT MATTER!!!!

Any men on here worrying because they think their wife had affair because of the size of the OM dick, are wrong. She didn't see the size before she decided to have that A did she?? She went into it with no idea what his dick looked like!

Will a WH say to his BW that he went and had an A because the OW was prettier, was slimmer, had a beautiful body and yours dear wife im afraid ... is hanging!!!!

No! And if he does, then I would kick their arse into touch and show them the door!

[This message edited by Heartbroken2013 at 4:46 AM, January 7th (Tuesday)]

I think the problem becomes bigger if you decide to get back together...

I honestly have not thought about this like I said earlier but the reality now is my PENIS is no longer special, to the one it should of been.

It's part of a man's ego but it's not our own tools. My wife let him go down on her, which i would gladly done...but nope. My SKILLS don't matter to the one it should.

Am I bigger/thicker... I have no idea. Is this something I should really know... probably not. Won't help me heal that's for sure. Could he be a better lover than me... probably... Wow...this turned very depressing...

She didn't see the size before she decided to have that A did she?? She went into it with no idea what his dick looked like!

She went back again and again though!

I remember this same discussion concerning size in high school. Not to say this is a HS discussion. But it goes to show that it's a concern for guys early on- probably starting at the age of puberty. That makes me think that infidelity simply rings that bell again. It's easy to go back to the 'maybe I'm not big enough' head place again.

Seriously, being a good lover isn't about size as far as I'm concerned. I've tried out different sized penises. Thick, thin, long, shorter. It doesn't matter. If they were bad lovers and couldn't be taught, then they probably still are.

My favorite penis is one that doesn't cheat.

Oh, and my answer to the guy in HS? "stick out your tongue and let me see".

Going back to page 2:

Question for you guys...when, and how, and by whom does the whole size issue come from to start with? Does it start with preadolescent ribbing by other guys or what?

It comes from the same place you gals get your insecurities from.

You can't be younger again. I could wax poetic about how sexy and lovely you older ladies are, and have those sentiments echoed by every single man on this site - until one guy comes along and disagrees.

Insecurity is a personal issue. It manifests like this. My wife fucked a guy with a fantasy schlong. Good for him I guess, it's about all he really has going for him. Some adorable and salacious 55 year old here probably has a husband who fucked some 18 year old kid. Good for her, she'll be old someday too.

For me, the insecurity is about something she had that I can't provide without changes I'm unwilling to make. It will be an experience that we never, ever share. It will always belong completely to her. So it will always remain, however small and slight (puntastically so) it may be, a wedge.

eta:

To clarify, I forgot what salacious actually meant. Also, if the wondercock had been attained before or hypothetically after, I don't think I'd care so much. It wouldn't be about me at that point. There is always gonna be a bigger dick. This whole insecurity thing aside, I'm really just concerned about how mine is deployed.

[This message edited by StillGoing at 10:24 AM, January 7th (Tuesday)]

For me, the insecurity is about something she had that I can't provide without changes I'm unwilling to make. It will be an experience that we never, ever share. It will always belong completely to her.

Well said SG. I would also include she had something that I can't provide without changes I'm unable to make.

you expect us to lose weight and get breast implants to keep our man

Nope

Jesu:

She went back again and again though!

Do u really believe she went back because of the size of his penis?

Do u really believe that if he had a small one, she wouldn't have gone back at all?

I cant understand that when my H (if u read ALL of my other posts in this thread) is unable to make love to me, ever! Never has and never will! Never will be to anyone else either!

I didn't run a mile when I met him, didn't shun him for having a small penis. I listened to his concerns before I saw him naked, I was with him for 4 mths before I saw him naked!

I didn't laugh him out the window and say 'forget it mate' .... no, cos I already loved him for who is was/is. Nearly 15 years later - I still do!

Im sorry if you are under the impression of that of all women, but we are not all like that. Im giving up on this thread now because each time I read a section where another lady comes along and says that size DOES matter, it upsets me, it hurts me too to think they would think that my husband isn't a worthy man .... because he is! He is the love of my life, small or big penis, I would love him the way he is!!

Wallets too maybe.

personally, I've always felt this was key-I know my fWW was trying to trade way up in that dept.

64:

OM was better educated than me. But he lacked drive and ambition. WW told me that he thought it was unfair that I had achieved so much while he had achieved little by comparison.

Maybe he felt better about himself by taking my wife from me?

Wallets too maybe.

personally, I've always felt this was key-I know my fWW was trying to trade way up in that dept.

Yeah, I can relate to this one. I was making an ok living when I was with my 2nd wgf. Good benefits and pretty stable job, but not the lifestyle she wanted. If I made more money I can guarantee she would not cheated and ended the relationship. That actually worked better for me in the long run because ironically I now make triple what I did then.