Cookies are required for login or registration. Please read and agree to our cookie policy to continue.

Newest Member: FaithGrace

Just Found Out :
Survey: Who experienced hysterical bonding and who didn't?

This Topic is Archived
default

aero1122 ( member #41575) posted at 4:09 AM on Tuesday, February 11th, 2014

Yes and it is still going strong and amazing!

Me-35
WH-36
Together 18 years
Married 7 years
2 kids
D-day 12-7-13
Both currently in counseling
Trying to R

I am a warrior!
I will survive and thrive!

posts: 108   ·   registered: Dec. 8th, 2013
id 6680240
default

lilmonkey ( new member #41682) posted at 4:24 AM on Tuesday, February 11th, 2014

I did not experience HB in a physical manner at all. I couldn't even touch him without feeling ill, let alone engage in a sexual act with him.

We did experience a very emotional HB, however. I mean like, pouring our hearts out 24/7, clingy, wanting to see each other every day, cannot be separated kind of HB.

posts: 47   ·   registered: Dec. 16th, 2013
id 6680256
default

Dreamland ( member #40488) posted at 6:04 AM on Tuesday, February 11th, 2014

Yes for a long time.. 8-10 months. It was great until ... I found out the truth

He had lied to me about the A. He said no sex was involved. I found out months months later though I suspected.

Makes me sick now almost if he touches me.

Now he's in liver failure and he can't have sex. But I realize I still want sex often and intimacy but I can't stand his touch. Takes a lot to put out the mind movies of them together. Ugh.

Me-BS 50 Him-WH 47, DD17
Together since 1993, Married 19 yrs
DDay 3/12,4/12,7/12 EA-PA OW - 25 single husband chasing bastard whore

posts: 515   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2013
id 6680323
default

TiredFamilyGuy ( new member #42411) posted at 6:37 AM on Tuesday, February 11th, 2014

Yes, a few months. Multiple revelations - no PA though - put paid to that. Now we screw more than beforehand and I don't treat her like a china doll. But the trust is gone.

posts: 10   ·   registered: Feb. 9th, 2014   ·   location: Europe
id 6680341
default

OnAnIsland ( member #34319) posted at 7:19 AM on Tuesday, February 11th, 2014

yes

D-day: Christmas 2011
D-day 2: 3/28/2013

Married for over 15 years
2 beautiful sons

You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. Maya Angelou

posts: 1486   ·   registered: Dec. 28th, 2011
id 6680356
default

Katieisfree ( member #22930) posted at 8:32 AM on Tuesday, February 11th, 2014

Yes. A couple of months.

DD 6/6/08
Sep 5/8/08
R 16/12/08

posts: 485   ·   registered: Feb. 20th, 2009   ·   location: Australia
id 6680374
default

Sadmumma ( member #42192) posted at 8:38 AM on Tuesday, February 11th, 2014

About 6 months ago I found he'd been texting a female school friend in another state. hB after that (or maybe it was the pregnancy hormones).

Once I found out about OW and PA I never let him back in the house.(only to pick up his this things which were waiting in the hallway).

On any given day you have the power to say "my story is not going to end like this"
Me 41 BS
Him 41 WH
6 kids...7 weeks, 5,7,9,11&13
D day jan 29th 2014

posts: 536   ·   registered: Jan. 24th, 2014   ·   location: Land down under
id 6680376
default

NeedingAdvice ( new member #42409) posted at 12:23 PM on Tuesday, February 11th, 2014

I'm all fairly new to this (both being a BS and to this forum) so this was the first I had ever heard of this phenomenon and it explains a lot!

My husband's drunken (he is a reformed alcoholic - sober four-and-a-half years) ONS that occurred over 10 years ago was only revealed to me four months ago. Guilt and the knowledge that there was a huge secret between us prompted him to come out with his confession.

I think the short answer to the question for me is YES! However, we had a fantastic sex life before D-Day and it resumed within a week and is definitely even better and more frequent than before.

It feels right and important as we attempt to move on the best we can from something that surprisingly seems to have had almost as big an impact on him as it has me.

posts: 17   ·   registered: Feb. 9th, 2014   ·   location: Australia
id 6680444
default

Mikey56 ( member #38063) posted at 12:30 PM on Tuesday, February 11th, 2014

Yes, a couple of months.

posts: 118   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2013
id 6680449
default

movingforward13 ( member #38405) posted at 2:59 PM on Tuesday, February 11th, 2014

Nope. I would not reward him for his betrayal.

Once a cheater, always a cheater happens when your cheater doesn't have remorse.
Regret is not remorse- know the difference!

posts: 683   ·   registered: Feb. 9th, 2013   ·   location: DC
id 6680619
default

BAMAC ( member #39334) posted at 3:03 PM on Tuesday, February 11th, 2014

Nope.

DDays - 1/26/2013 | 3/23/14
Divorced 7/10/2014

posts: 86   ·   registered: May. 22nd, 2013   ·   location: TX
id 6680628
default

LostSamurai ( member #41347) posted at 3:51 PM on Tuesday, February 11th, 2014

We did maybe a few weeks and then boom. GONE like the wind.

I am the wandering samurai, and I found my freedom...

posts: 1045   ·   registered: Nov. 14th, 2013   ·   location: Maryland
id 6680706
default

LearningToRun ( member #31353) posted at 8:15 PM on Tuesday, February 11th, 2014

Yes. for 18 MONTHS. We had "an agreement" that if circumstances changed and another party became involved we would be honest.

Guess what? he lied and was "accidentally" sleeping with both of us. That's when it ended.

he is engaged to her now, i seriously doubt she knows. Not my problem. She knew he was married when she became his shoulder to cry on.

I'm so glad it ended. It kept me stuck. My life improved once i truly let him and HB go.

Me: BS 49
Him: WH 54
OW - HS GF, reconnect on FB - They are now M
M- 23 years
DD Sept 2010 - he was lying about meeting and deleting all his texts
D-12/13/2010 - 60 days after i called uncle

posts: 865   ·   registered: Feb. 28th, 2011
id 6681216
default

Katz13 ( member #41886) posted at 10:24 PM on Tuesday, February 11th, 2014

Yes

posts: 130   ·   registered: Jan. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: USA
id 6681402
default

Katz13 ( member #41886) posted at 10:24 PM on Tuesday, February 11th, 2014

Yes

posts: 130   ·   registered: Jan. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: USA
id 6681403
default

outside4me ( member #42430) posted at 4:01 AM on Wednesday, February 12th, 2014

Yes. She's not good at communication at all, but DDay has motivated her to try (even though there's still some deceit and trickle truthing with the A). I initiated a discussion about sexual needs, and she seemed much more comfortable and truthful with that. She said she needed affection to help her feel safe communicating about the A and her messed up emotional illiteracy. Although I think I'm going to separate, I figured I'd give it a shot. If there's any chance at R, then she's got a lot of work to do confronting the ugly truth of what she did and the work she needs to do to remain married to me. Communication is our only hope at R.

Confession: I have a STRONG sex drive, so some thinking was done with the other head too. I've asked for,encouraged, and received lots of eye contact during sex, in some pathetic attempt to ensure she's not fantasizing about AP during it. It does help to make it more intimate, and seems to work on connecting emotionally. That said, I still feel empty, betrayed, etc. Lots of things she needs to do to get me to R. Even if by some miracle she does, if I can't get back to how sex felt before DDay I'm out. EDIT: without some real growth emotionally and establishment of trust, I know I'll never feel the same way about her again.

[This message edited by outside4me at 10:06 PM, February 11th (Tuesday)]

But that's just like...my opinion, man. I could be wrong.

posts: 276   ·   registered: Feb. 11th, 2014   ·   location: Colorado
id 6681869
default

sadinlex ( member #32047) posted at 4:12 AM on Wednesday, February 12th, 2014

oh yes!

me - BW him - WH
Dday - 4/11/2011 double betrayal
"After the A, being honest and being a bitch are pretty hard to tell apart." - Ladyogilvy

"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person."

posts: 147   ·   registered: May. 2nd, 2011
id 6681876
default

Gemini71 ( member #40115) posted at 5:24 AM on Wednesday, February 12th, 2014

Nope. At first the mind movies made me cry at the thought of being intimate. Now I just get nauseous at the thought. But then, I never was into using public facilities.

DSs 21, 16, 12
About my Ex:
IDK
IDC
IDGAF

Double Betrayal D-Day 7/26/2013
Divorced 11/18/2014

posts: 3406   ·   registered: Jul. 30th, 2013   ·   location: Illinois, USA
id 6681937
default

purplebreeze ( member #31611) posted at 6:05 PM on Wednesday, February 12th, 2014

NO

I found that he had sent pictures of himself that we had taken in our bedroom for US! How he could share something so intimate between us turned me off big time. For the longest time, I couldn't even look at him in the bedroom. It took a long time for me to get past that. Even after 3 years, I really do not feel anything like desire for him.

DD Jan 16 2011

posts: 399   ·   registered: Mar. 23rd, 2011
id 6682534
default

JLyn1128 ( member #41915) posted at 8:37 PM on Wednesday, February 12th, 2014

Yes. Completely. Until today's episode with his second betrayal.

Me BSO 63
Him WSO 63
Together 31years, married for a year
OW - Available. Thinks 'love' is in the way he looks at her.
Status - R and hopeful

posts: 107   ·   registered: Jan. 4th, 2014   ·   location: CA
id 6682816
This Topic is Archived
Cookies on SurvivingInfidelity.com®

SurvivingInfidelity.com® uses cookies to enhance your visit to our website. This is a requirement for participants to login, post and use other features. Visitors may opt out, but the website will be less functional for you.

v.1.001.20250404a 2002-2025 SurvivingInfidelity.com® All Rights Reserved. • Privacy Policy