SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Take the family credit card and hire a lawyer. Before she does. Then buy a gopro and leave it running.

It is kill or be killed at this point, financially. Take time off work and get it done!

I would at least file for legal separation so you are not financially responsible for her spending spree! My friends husband went and bought a nice new truck two weeks before serving papers to her (she had no idea he did it until it was done), so she is now financially responsible for half of his new truck.

Dont think they do that in my state

Love how she tells me im playing the victum.

Dont think they do that in my state

Lawyer will answer that when you go talk to and RETAIN one.

Don't worry about her recording you at all...no recordings will be admissible in any court preceding. That goes both ways. You recording her is in case she tries to pull some phony domestic violence claim....then you can play the recording for the cops.

The sooner you get a lawyer on board the sooner you will be protected financially and otherwise.

You said this :

"From our last conversation it sounds like she is looking to take everything. Im not going to have anything left to live off of after she gets her cut. I love our system, it sucks. Im probably not going to see my kids the way id like to either. Just bc she was looking for a good time. what a shty situation to have for anyone. Cannot beleive people that supposidly loved you can be this horrable."

Again, if you retain legal counsel, you will find she can't take everything.

Again, you are dragging your feet. Did you contact an attorney yet ? or are you simply in panic over what may occur ??

Dude... Gameplan... NOW

Attorney NOW

180 NOW

What don't you understand ????

bump

Sorry you are here, NoHope. But, you are here so you must act now. You must protect yourself and your children. I know you're shell shocked. We all have been in that position. Luckily, you found SI early on. Wish I had. LISTEN TO THE ADVICE YOU'RE BEING GIVEN ON THIS SITE. Then ACT ON IT. Every time your WW tries to goad you into an argument, bite your tongue.... whatever it takes to NOT respond. I just now read through all pages of your posts. She is setting you up, for certain. STOP playing into her games. Someone else gave you an excellent response: "I'm sorry you feel that way." THEN WALK AWAY. Hopefully, you have seen an attorney by now. If not, you need to see one quickly. AND, each and every credit card in your name: get your name off the cards. Open a new card in your name only and use only that one card. Don't share a card with her any longer. Let her debts be HER debts. Getting your name off shared cards helps with that. Do not delay. And, once again, stop taking her bait. No more conversations with her about anything unless it's kids or money. PERIOD. And, if you've not already done it, contact the AP's wife and let her in on what's going on. It really helps when you compare notes with one another.

I missed it in reading through your thread, is your wife employed outside the home ?

(((( )))) Treat this as war and defend yourself, like yesterday!

Seeing a lawyer today

Saw and spoke to a couple of lawyers. They all said the same, should move it along quickly. Ill be broke, she gets everything and the kids are going to be a fight unless she signs uncontested. Dont think thats going to happen. I might try and talk to her about agreeing on pappers, but she seems to have some kind of hatred towards me wich i cannot understand. May be difficult to have a civil conversation, but I'll try.

Ill be broke, she gets everything and the kid

Please tell us what state you live in so every BW can move there. It seems unreal to me that she gets every single thing. Generally assets are split, as are debts. There can be child support, but most states these days like to do a 50/50 child arrangement.

Sorry yours is not one of those states.

She gets 50% of everything, break up 401k also. Have to pay 25% of gross to her for kids, bc she watches them and refuses to get ft job. Health insurance is 210 week for me, it doesnt count. I may have to give her money fir her own after divorce. She will get support from me also. At the end of the day i wont even gave enough left over to oay for rent and she is having the affair. Now i cannot see how that is right in anyway. She is going to keep this going on to bleed me. Tried to talk to her to come to some kind of agreement, she got real nasty abd said im threating her and i will see what cones now. Im in for a long fight, with nothing left over but hurt kids. She also said i dont know what the kids say about me, guessing she is putting crap in their heads. This really sucks. Your loyal and this is what the outcome is. She tells me im garbadge, she shouls look in the mirror.

I hope you have a var on you at all.times...we've seen this before...and you are a prime candidate for a false DV charge.

So..because she stay home with the kids, you have to pay her more money? When I was divorced years ago, I didn't have a job, I was a sahm. When deciding on cs, the court took his income into consideration, and said I had the ability to work, so they based it on a ft,forty hour a week job,at minimum wage. Then they averaged out how much cs I would receive.

Maybe you should see a different attorney.

Regardless, get the var. Keep it on you, all.the.time.

Eta....get her on the var, speaking to your children they was she has been...and her telling you those things about the kids...she is guilty of alienating the kids against you.

[This message edited by confused615 at 4:35 PM, March 11th (Friday)]

Ugh, went through a custoday battle. Did you talk to your lawyer about parental alienation? You might want to consider a guardian ad litum to look out for the best interests of the children. Use that specific term with your lawyer.

Strength

I did, the only real thing i can do is get the kids their own atterney to protect them. My concern with that is if she already put all these things in their heads it may be too late.

This is one reason you really REALLY need to talk with the other BS. She may know her H is cheating, she very well may know nothing is going on. Once she begins action toward her POS wayward H, things may change a little for you. He may not be as serious about divorcing her as he is leading your wife to believe he is. He may visit with a couple lawyers and learn what it's going to cost HIM and back off. You really do need to talk with the other BS.

Also, I was told the judge can only do so much when it comes to distribution of assets, CS, SS. Even if a judge wants to 'throw the book' at cheaters, she/he can't as it's not a 'judicial' distribution and would / could be appealed. Judges don't like people appealing their decisions. It would be counter-productive to leave you with zero income after giving your WW 'everything.' Not likely to happen. Which state is your state of residence ? Others from there will likely have plenty to say once that's known. And, remember, we all speak from experience.

Don't panic yet. It's not over till it's over. (((( )))) And DO get her off your cc's now. If she wants cc's, she can get her own in her name only.

The one bright spot in the replies to you, is that your wife might be forced to get a job, instead of sitting around all day.

As for health insurance, tell your wife to get Medicaid, nice and free.

As for splitting everything 50/50, do you own a house or rent.

It really sounds like your wife has become completely nutty. And I wonder if you shouldn't talk to a different lawyer, this one really sounds dismal.

The law firm Cordell and Cordell has webinars for men in your position on their web site. At this point, all the knowledge you can get will help.

She just told me she cant talk to me anymore she has a lawyer.

I asked her exactly what she is looking for, thats the answer i got

Look, you got one positive here. You found out that your wife is morally depraved. You found out that she is not marriage material and her affair will certainly break up after you are done with her.

I am sorry about the advice you got but she will destroy you if you stay together.

I see so many stories about SAHM's here doing this. I don't have kids. If I did, her ass would be working.

However, I am sure your attorneys can make a convincing argument regarding your financial health to make sure you can rebuild.

I would suggest you look up Cordell and Cordell who specialize in Father's rights cases rather than go through a local one. Hire Cordell and Cordell and file for divorce immediately. Then go to war and save yourself.

She turned evil, it's sad and sickening. It's happened to some of my best friends. Oddly, my e didn't turn evil, she wanted to stay together and I told her to screw off.

Fight, fight and fight. I find it hard to see how any judge could make you impoverished and still ahve parental rights. In 22 years in law enforcement, much of it around the courts, I have never seen anything that bad. One guy in my department has 5 kids, pays 1800 a month (35% of his net income after taxes and insurance) to his wife who makes more but he doesn't have to care for the kids, he works massive overtime which she can't access, he doesn't worry about health insurance and he got a cut of the house. And this is a bad case. Most of the people in divorce courts we deal with are ensured that they will be ok by the judges.

So I am sure you got a worse case scenario.

Again, look up Cordell and Cordell. They are probably close to you. Go to war and blow her up. File next week

and btw, how is health insurance $840 a month ? and it doesn't count. I've never seen that one before. It should be added in. 25% gross for the kids and paying her support sounds excessive. Get a second opinion. I wills end you a link