SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Well there was so much I can barely remember but here are a few :

Smashed Wedding Pictures (I still have them put away in a box).

Smashed beloved pipes worth over $5,000 - smashed them all with a hammer.

Smashed dishes and glasses during arguments.

Cut Up cute couple pics of us before we got married.

Cut Up T-shirts given to him from the MOW.

I was too scared to open that can of worms, I feared that when i started smashing i wouldn't be able to stop- and I have been known to totally demo a room in a house in an hour (used to be construction worker). So the only thing i smashed was a pair of glasses that she wore in sexy photos to others and i threw away all clothes and underwear that she wore in those photos. I would like to drive my car (her old car while this shit was happening) off of a cliff but I cant easily buy a new one so that is out of the picture. Gotta get to work somehow.

Prior to the A, I cannot recall ever purposely destroying anything. The worst I have done was launch a pizza down the stairs. I was 7 months pregnant and very hungry. WH came home with a pepperoni pizza. I don't like pepperoni.

On Dday:

1 - Smashed his phone. OW was calling it non stop.

2 - Smashed his computer. I was trying to find OBS, and WH was trying to stop me.

3 - Tore up pictures that OW gave to me that she took during the flood.

TT#1:

1 - Launched his clothes off our balcony

2 - Knocked him out cold with a punch to the face.

3 - Attempted to smash his truck window and tail lights.

4 - Threw his keys into the lake

5 - Broke my hand

*He went to the police station to "talk" and I got arrested for conjugal violence and mischief and I got to spend the evening in jail.

TT#2 & 3:

Remained calm and did nothing as I didnt want to go to jail again. I did "SAVE" WHs life, as he was going to jump off a bridge. Im usually selfless like that. :/

Broke my hand when I punched a solid granite table.

When I found out she told him ILY, we were watching TV and I had the switcher in my hand. I threw it at the wall, it hit entertainment center and broke into pieces. I fixed it the next day, with duct tape.

Never threw or broke anything in anger before this.

was I surprised? no. I'm actually surprised I didn't break more.

[This message edited by destroyed1 at 4:35 AM, August 25th (Friday)]

I've been tempted to do so much but have refrained. I figure every time I resist the temptation, God has more room to 'venge on WH

That being said I have done a few things:

Ripped up some wedding photos. Stuck other wedding photos in his bag when he was coming for some clothes. Threw away every condom we had bought- WH would have to buy more (which he did btw, and hid them under a picture from our wedding... sh!thead)... what else... I can't remember what else but it was always small things. And I felt better after. If I didn't think I would feel better I wouldn't do it. I have broken a few things out of anger in the past, and always regretted it. So whatever I have done now has been to say to myself "this is real, WH has truly betrayed you" and kept me in reality.. I am more shocked that I haven't done more in fact!

After D (if that is what this comes to) I might be tempted to do a few more things I hope some will still be up for road-tripping then

After I moved into my own place when ex-asshat and I split up, I took a shirt of his that I found in my stuff and burned it in my BBQ. Unfortunately, the kids who lived behind me appeared on their jungle gym and kept asking loudly why I was doing that?

I guess I had done something like that once before... when I found out about OW3 about a year prior, I, um, did one of the things in that Carrie Underwood song "Before He Cheats." Never mind which one.

I broke a glass in the kitchen sink.

Context: After DD learned of her Mom's infidelity, she got drunk, flipped her car, got a huge DWI, but miraculously, no one was physically injured. XWW freaked a few weeks later, threatened suicide and alcoholic relapse to DD's face, blaming DD for her impulses. After that, DD directed all her otherwise justifiable anger at me, since I was a safe outlet for her anger. One night, DD blasted me for no particular reason, saying cruel and mean things, XWW went to comfort DD and explain that I was inexcusably angry. I told them both that this treatment of me was unacceptable. They left the room silently.

I got so incredibly mad I broke a glass in the sink, carefully, so as to not have shards fly out.

She referred to my breaking of the glass as evidence of my violent temper and came very close to calling the police and filling out a domestic violence order against me, which would have cost me my job, as I am a high profile civil servant.

She destroyed our whole family, but I broke a glass.

This was near the end of our failed reconciliation.

I destroyed wedding pictures, but not much else in the home (little people at home). Mostly I took my anger out into the field with me. Taking a pickaxe to a dirt mound, digging multiple test pits in a day, clearing sites with a machete. My site director was impressed, never told him how much rage was motivating my work...

I found a hidden key chain with a pic of him & OW1 from when she took him to six flags & I threw it in the garbage disposal. I also tore up the wlc class graduation pic that had OW2 in it.

I smashed a mug I had made for him - he didn't deserve it.

I smashed a pint glass that he had received on an evening out with her.

I tore to shreds a doll she made him.

And then there were the boots. He had this pair of boots:

He liked them. They were all comfy and worn in.

I guess she liked them, too.

For some reason she needed a pair of boots, but was too broke to buy a pair.

So he bought her a pair.

Her pair was the women's version of the exact same boot. Same manufacturer, same style name.

$300 a pair (plus he threw in another style for another $300 ) $300!!!

Isn't that cute??? They had matching boots!! She thought it was cute.

So he wasn't allowed to have his boots anymore. Fortunately I had a nice pair of leather shears:

Damn that felt good.

love this thread. at the time we were living in an apt complex that had several large deep fountains. I threw all of his work clothes in there along with a brand new pair of adidas sneakers. then I took his wedding ring and tossed it in the river. I took down all the photos of us as a couple or family, cut his face out, ripped up the rest and threw it in the apt complex dumpster. it felt good. also I had smashed his loud ass alarm clock with a hammer, cleaned the toilet with his toothbrush and let it sit in there for days. I also broke into his car, stole the keys (he had left them in there with door unlocked at his job) and took the mouthwash and cologne he had in there (I had bought!) and tossed them in the dumpster. also I had confronted him on the phone, he was driving home and when he got there I ran my arm across our table top, throwing all of our knickknacks, candle holders, etc against the wall. it left some bad dents. he looked pretty shocked. I also was so upset I literally banged my hands against my arms and created terrible bruises.

edited to add the answer to the 2 other questions:

Yes, I have broken things in anger in past, but mainly dishes (throwing plates, etc)

And no, I was not shocked at all that I got so angry that I could destroy things. I'm shocked at my restraint, to be honest.

[This message edited by kbella at 11:10 AM, September 15th, 2017 (Friday)]

and his pillow has been rubbed on my butt as well. That last one wasn't my finest moment but sorry, not sorry.

This one made me LOL. I hope he got pink eye.

On DDay, I threw him out of the house, literally threw a suitcase out the front door and down the driveway. We had just put our house on the market, so we had tons of boxes. After I locked the door behind him, I ripped all of his shirts off the hangers, threw every single thing in his dresser/nightstand/bathroom drawers into boxes, taped them up and put them by the front door. The next day, he came home and after asking me if he could unpack the boxes, he spent about three hours unpacking them. Lots of broken and opened bathroom stuff mixed in with his clothes, running gear, etc. He had to throw a lot away. And his shirts are still all missing that top button from being ripped off. He saved them in a baggie and I told him there's no way I will ever sew them back on, so he can figure that out himself.

I love the idea of printing and burning the OW's picture. I may have to do that. I have already written her scathing letters (unsent of course) but would really enjoy watching her (picture) burn.

If I didn't have kids that are very observant, I probably would have been a bit crazier. As it was, my 12 yo DS and 9 yo DD both asked why Daddy's clothes were gone from the closet that next morning. So the guilt of them dealing with that kept my destruction and temper (mostly) in check from that point.

[This message edited by TX1995 at 10:58 AM, September 15th (Friday)]

Where do I start?

I didn't smash, cut up, burn, or destroy anything.

What I did do was throw out everything that meant something to him...

The letters he saved from his deceased dad.

The Movado watch he received at the 25-year mark of his work anniversary.

My WH was a 7th degree black belt. Had embossed plaques for every single promotion and then some. All hanging on the wall in our basement. Dumped them.

He had saved his first black belt, worn, torn, but a sign of his commitment to the sport. Dumped it.

His expensive cowboy boots he purchased on a business trip. Dumped them.

Anything relating to karate, photos, books, tapes, gifts, weapons, awards, gis, in the trash.

Every single CD he had in his vehicle. In the trash.

A beautiful, personal throw he had customized for me the Xmas prior to D-Day plus numerous other gifts.

It's been 12 years, there's probably more, but that's what I remember off the top of my head.

If I do have one regret, it's that I didn't go full out destructive before I left and break everything that I couldn't take with me. But included in the things I did do:

-shattered a picture frame we had displayed since a month after our wedding. It had a baby picture of him on one side, a baby picture of me on the other, and our favorite wedding picture in the middle. Dang, that thing shattered like crazy.

-I bought him a recliner with heat and massage for his 30th birthday. I couldn't fit in the moving truck so I just took scissors to the cord. Snipped it so it was just a chair with non-working buttons. That was very satisfying .

-I kept a belt buckle that I also got him special for his 30th birthday. It had his first initial on the front and it had an inscription on the back from DS and me saying how we loved him, he was a great daddy, husband, etc... . I took a hammer to that thing until you couldn't recognize what it was. Also very satisfying.

-I tore up and threw away every love note and card he ever gave me. Looking back, I should have used fire.

-Not smashed, cut up, or burned, but I threw my engagement and wedding rings out the car window while going down the highway. I wouldn't know it for a few days but it turned out that I did that on the exact day our divorce became final which made it feel even more freeing.

[This message edited by lilies21 at 11:33 AM, September 15th (Friday)]

Oh yes I most certainly did this a few times lost my mind mode ,never knew I could be the person I became in those moments but every time after looking at the absolute destruction I caused even though I was in awe that it came from me it definitely made me feel Good and not only that my husbands face alone made me feel good the face of shock and fear the face of wtf have I done to this woman.

Immediately after I destroyed all of anything to do with our wedding pictures and all smashed burned and thrown away,I cut my wedding ring in half ,

The other few times nothing was safe that was near me I smashed a lot of things in the kitchen,bathroom, bedroom anything and everything you could possibly think of from glasses to pictures all to be thrown away, it’s funny I still from time to time find little peices of glass from those moments. .

I have never been one to destroy anything in anger before, but post D-day, I proudly did the following:

1.) Found some pictures of OW that H had and scribbled out her face. I left them where I found them so he would know that I had seen them. They were there until we moved.

2.) I smashed a jewelry box he gave me with a hammer because I knew he had given her the same gift. It was one of those huge "piece of furniture" types.

3.) I did not destroy, but donated to charity, the pieces of jewelry that he gave me during those years. I assume he got her the same pieces. I found a receipt for one of them that said "quantity: 2". They were $300 each. No one on EBAy wanted them - I think they could feel the bad juju through the airwaves.

I have never thrown anything or destroyed anything on purpose ever.

I didn't damage anything on DDay but after TT? Yep, I did some damage

Nothing major mind you....and not all the same day

I broke a frame

I threw a mug full of coffee and broke it

I pushed him and he fell threw our closet door, which broke

I threw a phone across the room

I threw the convertor against across the room and almost broke a window

I threw a cabbage...it was handy and it got tossed....it is not a very satisfying thing to throw though, they bounce.

I threw out a few shirts that i know he wore when he was with her and when he took a picture of his junk and sent it to her.

I think thats it but in hindsight, I am a little surprised that I didn't do more. I am also surprised that I didn't punch him. i wanted to and had to really concentrate on not doing it.