I think you are wise. No major decisions the first 90 days. Think of the kids.
Now here is my experience with a post nup. My H’s second and last A led him to wanting a D. Never heard that before except when he met OW.
At DDay2 (same OW and I had no idea the A resumed) it was ugly. And he wanted to R and I did not. So I had an attorney friend write up a post nup that he signed as a condition to get me to stay and try R.
It basically says any assets in my name are excluded as marital property and he is not entitled to in the event of a D.
Four years later we have R and he is not cheating and we have a good M. We are happy. He has worked hard to make amends for his mistakes and poor choices.
I admit the first year it was rough b/c he kept blaming me for the A (typical cheater move). He still tried to hide things to save himself not realizing it only caused more damage.
I suggest that if your W thinks everything is Ok you ask her now for the post nup. She may sign it and it will be to your benefit. If you do D then you are protected in some way.
Good luck to you. One day at a time. And YOU are not obligated to tell her or promise her anything right now. D or R.
Always think of the kids. And they can do well after a D but both parents have to make that a priority.
