SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Bigger thank you all great advice it is all very helpful and things have been getting better between us. I hope that the day of the polygraph comes she doesn’t try to get out of it because it will be painful clear she is still lying to me. We did sit down and talked to our children some about what’s going on just not details obviously I’m not trying to scar them anymore then all of this already is.

I hope that the day of the polygraph comes she doesn’t try to get out of it because it will be painful clear she is still lying to me. 

Probability is high that this is exactly how it will go down. If she does delay/decline what is your plan then?

There was a poster here who was in much the same position (insisting on a poly and wife delayed and delayed even claiming mental-emotional duress over his insistance. She even had family members run interference for her but he held his ground. She eventually did take it as he had started the separation procesd so she capitulated....and failed the poly.

Know this, if you dont have a plan for her, she will have a plan for you.

On another note, do whatever it takes to stay sober.

[This message edited by DobleTraicion at 2:22 AM, Monday, December 29th]

Since marrying Worried, have you had sexual relations with any other man?

Better to say "….with anyone else?". There are cases right here where the adulterous partner was same-sex…..

I have an attorney already who knows the situation and has paperwork ready and I have stayed sober it’s been over two months since I’ve had a drink. Now with that said I might have had a few drinks a night but was not drinking until I was drunk if I had three mixed drinks in an evening that was a lot spread over a time of 4 to 5 hours and when I stopped drinking I have not had an issue I’m not an alcoholic and I don’t miss drinking I really was doing it I think more because we just didn’t talk and I’d ask if something was wrong and always told no not that I have an issue with your drinking. I admit it became more than I had ever done before but I don’t go to bars or drive when I have I’m home so I feel like it was more of a way to point a finger at me but maybe I’m wrong either way I’m done doing it so she has no ammo.

Hopefully you can stand your ground if at the last minute she comes up with reasons why she can't or should not take the test. If this happens and you back down the chances of you knowing the truth are almost zero because she will now know that you will always back down from your ultimatums

You realize your drinking was just a convenient finger pointing excuse to blame you, the betrayed spouse, for the affair.

My H had a million reasons to justify his last affair. Some of his "reasons" went back 20 years over issues that had been resolved. Stupid minor disagreements that were resolved and never mentioned again were suddenly the "reason" he used to justify being a cheater.

So your drinking was never an issue for her IMO. It was just an excuse.